4. Mr Thundervolt & DJ Diplodocus

Welcome to "Three Word Story," where each episode spins a tale from the unexpected. Join hosts James Royle and Dylan Jacobs as they unravel narratives sparked by three random words from the innovative app what3words. From "Diplodocus.Aprehend.Bestow" to "Time Pieces. Radiate. Wrinkle" every episode promises whimsy, mystery, and creativity in just three words. Tune in for improvised adventures that blend imagination with spontaneity, proving that a world of stories can unfold from the most unlikely places. Ready to embark on a journey of words? Let's weave some magic together.

Thank's for listening, Tune in next week for another episode!

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Transcript

00:00:00:00 - 00:00:24:00
Unknown
Welcome to three What Story? The podcast where we take three words from around the mass place using the app, these three words and improve the shit out of a story today on three word story. Because I know I once the one slap the shit out of this lady, but I thought she had the nine millimeter, but it was only about ten minutes.

00:00:24:02 - 00:00:51:11
Unknown
Absolutely no way do you have fun in the dinosaur times because we don't decree it. It's not okay. Welcome to three. What story? How the fuck the devil are you, sir? Delyth of big D today. You know what, James? I am absolutely fantastic. I didn't go out last night. I'm feeling fairly refreshed. Ready for the day. However, it's a Sunday, so I'm getting ready to actually be lazy.

00:00:51:14 - 00:01:14:07
Unknown
Ooh, delicious. So lazy that you couldn't even put your phone on fucking silent for three seconds soon to a podcast. So. Hey, look, these things happen to the best of us. Big D all of d delyth. So you didn't drink yesterday? Didn't go out. Very proud of you. Because in the the Shire of Dubai, where we reside, it is far too easy to get a drink on the evening.

00:01:14:07 - 00:01:43:21
Unknown
So instead, I believe that you were, aggressively shoehorned into a group male press up competition. Is that right on microphone? No, we weren't on microphones, but, yeah, I kind of was, was pressured into into doing, kind of like a joint push up venture with, some large Russian men and, then release and sexual.

00:01:43:23 - 00:02:14:00
Unknown
I was on Kite Beach. We went for a run just after the run. Or kind of just as I thought. We are done for the evening. This guy was like, listen, do you want to join us for push ups? And honestly, I thought, no, like the idea. It really, you know, when a man approaches you on a beach, when it's 40 degrees, 40 degrees outside with a feels like of 80,000, the humidity, it's a fair thing to say to a scary Russian sweaty Russian man.

00:02:14:05 - 00:02:34:19
Unknown
Jeez, he was big, though. Like, I think that was the main line. I don't fear too many people. However, with this guy. Yeah, I'd be all right. See, I'm being serious. Right? This guy. Really? He even had the the venom. The venom shorts, I don't know, but but like the it's actually in my brand, which means he probably does in.

00:02:34:21 - 00:02:57:13
Unknown
And I was not ready to kind of go back and forth. I was like, yeah sure. Let's let's do some push ups. Okay. Let's go with some push ups. Okay. So you don't fear many men, but this man wearing venom shorts, venom, venom shorts and probably almost two meters tall, I don't know why, but, like, he didn't have he was bold as well.

00:02:57:13 - 00:03:19:16
Unknown
And that contributed to the fact that I just kind of streamlined. Yeah. Streamlined. Like, yeah, he doesn't have hair. Then he doesn't give a shit, you know, doesn't have hair. Career shit. Ton of tattoos, tall and big as fuck. So yes, I then just, coming to a Pornhub thumbnail near you. So paint the picture. Right. So we have you, we have your friend and we have how many muscular Russian men?

00:03:20:08 - 00:03:43:13
Unknown
I think in total he might have been 15, maybe 16, 17. Wow. Okay. And, and we speak in all male, all male with one lady. And, I don't know, she she might have been, maybe I shouldn't say that, but she might have been mentally challenged. I'm not sure. Yeah. She she didn't look like she was with the program.

00:03:44:01 - 00:04:01:08
Unknown
Like, everyone was kind of there, and then people spoke to her like she was slow at understanding things, almost like they speak to me. Okay. All right. So we were like, okay, we've got you a friend. This is Dylan, okay? He's, slow in understanding something, so let's make this. Let's make this do press ups. Yeah.

00:04:01:08 - 00:04:19:22
Unknown
And then, that's what I did. So how many press ups who won? Was it a competition? Was it a competition? Was anyone recording it? And did they make blindfold you and put things in your mouth? Nope. That none of that. I'm trying to think. Yeah. Why is it tears running down your face? Do it. Okay.

00:04:20:03 - 00:04:39:14
Unknown
Yeah. And I mean, any way, any way to, to share weekend. I personally, there was zero press ups for me, and there was a little bit of shopping. Ted Baker, took my wallet. But I did go to schmooze, at a at a, like, a product launch. So for those who don't know, I mean, they work in real estate in Dubai.

00:04:39:14 - 00:05:03:01
Unknown
Yes. With those people. Sorry for anyone who ever been pissed off by us. And, and they launch properties and things like that, and, me and a friend went there, to go see, you know, who we could meet, who we could schmooze, and not so successful. Admittedly, not a good schmooze. It was. It lacked the schmooze that we required, we did manage to speak to one guy.

00:05:03:01 - 00:05:20:01
Unknown
So, you know, you go in the room and you speak to, a salesman, and I think he he called on to us pretty quickly that we weren't going to buy. And we will probably just let's try and get some some business. Yeah. And then, you know, he didn't really want to do much with us. So then on the outside, we'll have another coffee, have another delicious free iced coffee are canapés.

00:05:20:07 - 00:05:37:00
Unknown
And we were loading up because obviously it was free. And we posted up next to this, lovely Russian guy and he was like, oh yes, I Liam, I am investor and here to look are in the and I like the legal coins. I like I like towers, I like apartments, I like all these things. We were like he was probably also bullshitting.

00:05:37:00 - 00:05:52:07
Unknown
Yeah, well, Dylan, that was the case. A we mean, means to keep. We were talking to him and I get his number. I'm thinking score. I've got this sucker. And he's like, yeah, little like Lisa like that. I'm like, hey, you, dude, you come for coffee? Me with me. And he's like, oh, no problem, we'll do that.

00:05:52:07 - 00:06:14:05
Unknown
We shake hands, we move away. And as I'm still hammering, my face full of kind of pays, one of the Damac guys goes up to him, and says, dude, you've been here for like three hours now. Stop speaking to people trying to get business. So I'm there with hello pose and mobile phones up to look like people.

00:06:14:06 - 00:06:33:21
Unknown
Don't look at me. I said, let's go to the smoking area quickly. Let's get away from this guy. And I hear as we're walking away, we'll do guys. We'll just doing the same thing that I'm doing. I'm like, shut up, shut up, Teemo Frick! When did he change exit? Well, that was he leaves those people to And.

00:06:33:21 - 00:06:56:02
Unknown
Yeah. So Timor, if you're listening. Oh, fuck you for wasting my time. Suck you dick. You got I could. Hey, no, all I'm going to say it again. I'll double down on that. Timor. Timur! Fuck you, fuck you! So. Yeah, that was. That was my weekend. But it was, it was in in a lovely location.

00:06:56:02 - 00:07:20:05
Unknown
The four seasons are highly recommended to anyone. It's, there was just cigar lounge, the lot, you know, people of wealth there and so forth. So it seems like it's been a super successful weekend for both of us. But more importantly, Dylan, let's get to those three. Whoa, whoa, drop it down low. A three word story. Welcome back.

00:07:20:05 - 00:07:53:12
Unknown
So, dollface, big D of Darlington Shire, we chose three words based on a favorite holiday destination. So please tell the ladies and gentlemen, what did you choose? Why? Yeah. So I chose, I chose Natalia, which is a resort. Okay. Based on the prostitute. Yeah. Resort. Plus a prostitute. Resort. Yeah. This was one of my favorite places growing, up to go.

00:07:53:13 - 00:08:19:02
Unknown
Oh, nice. Yeah, yeah, nine years old. I just, you know, let's find out the anatomy, okay. Yeah. So, no, South coast, south coast of South Africa, right. And. Yeah, kind of safe, close to the sea. Big waves. And, a lot of people. Yeah, it's kind of like a community feel because it's a resort.

00:08:19:02 - 00:08:38:03
Unknown
I mean, everybody kind of is game seems to. Yeah, it's something about it bit I actually I, I actually wanted to kind of go down that like, yeah if you want to play touch rugby and, and then I wanted to say touches and then I thought touches might not go over as well. No. But yeah. And it always says it's a finger ball.

00:08:38:07 - 00:09:01:06
Unknown
You know. But either way, this way, this was one of one of the favorite holiday destinations, to go to growing up. And, yeah, I guess the key word was safe in anywhere in South Africa. That was the biggest thing. It was, it was quite so like it was troublesome finding a safe place to go on holiday.

00:09:01:11 - 00:09:17:00
Unknown
And this was one of those places. Nice. So, yes, we managed to find something that was all kind of a safe haven. Nice. Yeah. So they like, if you want to feel like you're back home again, we have a carjack simulator, where our holiday rebels, hold a knife to your throat and take your car. Yay!

00:09:17:02 - 00:09:38:22
Unknown
Yeah. So if you kind of wanted to to increase the risk factor of of getting mugged to rob, then you just leave the resort. Oh, okay. Well, they are, they're just waiting there, like, just, leave some some milk crates, just kind of, they've got their black and white striped shirts on a bag of anti swag, like the kind of the blindfolds with the holes in it and like a black kind of beanie hat.

00:09:38:22 - 00:09:56:21
Unknown
You know, I'm thinking droopy was the detective as well. Yes. Yeah. He makes sense. Yeah. It makes sense because they, they're just waiting out in a line ready to, rob your ass up my ass. Okay, so that is your your favorite holiday resort. You go to an epic day of the lantern Shire. What three words did they give you?

00:09:56:23 - 00:10:25:01
Unknown
Tiny pieces. Radio wrinkle. Wow, you just my balls deep into that one where I could barely even hear a word you said. Oh, shit. So again. Again, please. Timepieces. Timepiece pieces. Pieces of tiny pieces of time. Okay. Timepieces radiate and wrinkle. Oh, yeah. Tiny pieces. I mean, you could go wherever you want without you go watches. You could go pieces of time if you wanted to.

00:10:25:04 - 00:10:44:16
Unknown
Or you could have someone who pieces seconds. Maybe. And it'd be like time pieces. Probably not that I bought that one. That sucked. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, guys, I'll just cut that. Actually, can, I just go back and rewrite my story completely impromptu. Fuck up. Jesus, I mean, you do you want a completely free source? Yeah.

00:10:44:16 - 00:11:04:10
Unknown
Hey, do you wanna do that? Punk. Punk. Okay, so we have. Yeah. Time pieces. We have radiate, radiate and wrinkle. Wrinkle. Okay. And do any of those things actually relate to the holiday place? Did you think? Oh, I remember being the water so long that I wrinkled and then stayed out to the sun and had sunburn to, like, radiated?

00:11:04:21 - 00:11:26:06
Unknown
And I just kept looking at my watch because I know, but I can probably, I can probably link it to safety. Right. Okay. So so we actually have a surprise guest on today. Oh, yes. It. Oh, wow. Wow, what a tease. You tease a little slut today. Cheese. Okay, so we have a we have a four episodes in episode number four, by the way, and we're gonna have a special guest.

00:11:26:06 - 00:11:45:00
Unknown
Okay, well, we have a special guest I cannot wait. Yeah. So big Dylan, Dylan, sunshine. Give it to me. So my my holiday of choice now had a few to go by. But for this one, I went to Shamone, France, which is the base of Mont Blanc in the Alps. Like a climbing holiday kind of thing.

00:11:45:00 - 00:12:04:11
Unknown
Well, visited with, one of my best friends, Matt, back in the day, and when we were trying to send the big bitch mountain of Monte Blanc. We've made two attempts to succeed at once and not the other one. Was that within the same trip? Sorry. Sorry to interject you two different. Two different choices. The first trip, we didn't stay at this particular campsite.

00:12:04:11 - 00:12:28:08
Unknown
The second place we stayed at this campsite. And it stays in my heart because, we became a large fan of these little cake light bars, called Pepitas. And they were delicious. They were little sugary, heavenly fluffy delights that you would go to the supermarket and, purchased. I, I love this what is it went through my head is terrible.

00:12:28:08 - 00:12:58:12
Unknown
I'm like, okay, so little bars now I'm just imagining like a pub. It's like very small, only like for four people to sit. And then it's like, yeah, you can have a drink and it's an absolute delight. And then it just. And I'm like, that's, that's, it's cool. But I would, I prefer to scrap everything I just said, is actually back when we were in Mexico and we were visiting small, tiny bicycle diaper in, they'll be the Beatles here.

00:12:58:13 - 00:13:20:01
Unknown
And then we would, we would run around, we'd get a sombrero on, and we would he would give us a sombrero of tequila shots, and we would sit there and we would just have fun with Juan, you know, we'll do shots of one, two and three. Yeah, exactly. All of their friends you could have gone for. Oh, I mean, una stressed was that I mean, yeah that would who knows that it anyway.

00:13:20:03 - 00:13:48:21
Unknown
Okay. So, yeah. So we had these little puppy tacos. We were sat at the front of our tent chowing down on some pickles. And we noticed that the the local birds, little teeny tiny birds, not women, also said, but people, but people. But people. So it was basically a fantastic night marketing strategy where you could not think of not not think of the Beatles because little birds were advertising the little cunts all the time.

00:13:48:21 - 00:14:06:03
Unknown
They're fucking clever, clever marketing birds. Yeah. So I can only assume that they were robot birds, and they are part of the, global conspiracy of the surveillance. That is actually. Yeah, I actually just watched it this morning. Very interesting shit. Yeah. That's really. I'm. Yeah. Are you convinced as well? Because. Yeah, this is all part of it.

00:14:06:03 - 00:14:32:17
Unknown
Because not only are they spying on you and telling the, the Illuminati government, but they're also advertising little fluffy cake balls to you. Man, that bigger government is good at. And how they do it don't, but they do it well. So I went to here and I tried to get as close to where our tent pitch was, and I came up with the three words that are bestows.

00:14:32:19 - 00:14:46:24
Unknown
Apprehend. And Diplodocus, let me just quickly not just Google the last word, but let me quickly Google, okay.

00:14:47:01 - 00:15:15:10
Unknown
So just to remind the audience that, of the for odd phase over here, English is not his first language, barely a second or its third. Yeah. And barely even comes into the top ten, at more of, ums and ars and oaks make up most of the time, actually. French, so. Oh, we, so it did give me a chuckle, thinking that maybe all three words could be a struggle for you, so I will talk you through them.

00:15:15:18 - 00:15:35:05
Unknown
I did, I did anticipate this. I think this might be all right. I'm not sure. Well, there's fucking no chance. No chance that he's going to get all three of these. So we have bestows. Right. So if you bestow something, you gift something. So you could I could bestow upon you, you my penis on your shoulder I could flop my cock.

00:15:35:07 - 00:15:52:20
Unknown
Bestow is. You sure know I'm 100%. I actually thought, oh, look, I would like I know bestowed. And then I was like bestows. Sounds like a French restaurant, ironically enough. But anyway, I. Okay, so should I put it on? What? No, please. You don't want to do it. I it's staring at you, winking at it. It it does not.

00:15:52:24 - 00:16:20:14
Unknown
It's a twitch. It's actually really horrible. It's an SDI related. It's so that's bestow. So I bestow upon you a title so I could call you sir Darlington of Darlington Shire. So I bestow of you the title of sir. But example. Right, right. To apprehend someone is to, as a police officer, may apprehend a burglar. You may grab them, hold onto them, arrest them, and they but apprehend them under the guise of the law.

00:16:20:16 - 00:16:44:17
Unknown
Make sense? Understood. So apprehend. I've apprehended you, motherfucker. Yeah. Someone might say to someone else. And then Diplodocus. Yeah. Diplodocus. Yes! Yeah yeah yeah, yeah. I'm ready. I don't know, I'm actually adjusting because. Yeah, it's just in your pants. It's just in case it's a very big, Greek word. I'm assuming it's the origin. Probably. Or maybe like a potentially.

00:16:44:17 - 00:17:05:23
Unknown
So, a Dukas is actually the name of dinosaur. Okay. So. Yeah. Oh, shit. Indeed. So the plural will be deployed. Okay. And it's the Latin, I believe as all all dinosaurs as we know were Latin, back in the day or spoke Latin. Yeah, they were T-Rex myths, Maximus and my such and so forth. So, just so you know which dinosaur it is.

00:17:05:23 - 00:17:26:12
Unknown
Are you aware of the movie Jurassic Park? The original one? Yes. So imagine the tool to begin in the film where they go up in their little buggy and they're they're all three of them in there. And we have, Ellie Sattler, the, the main woman of the entire film. Yeah. And they drive around the corner and, I mean, you look at the film and you think, how the fuck didn't they see these fuckers already?

00:17:26:12 - 00:17:47:23
Unknown
But, you know, that's fair. Yeah. And, she kind of takes aback. She's like. And then she kind of lifts, has sunglasses off her face. She stands up and she looks out. And you have those big old fuckers with the long old necks, right? That big old tall. Yeah. Not them. The small ones at the back, is it?

00:17:48:04 - 00:18:18:07
Unknown
I know I feel bad for I didn't put that away. No, no no, no. The diplodocus is indeed the long necked tall dinosaur. Okay? A complete herbivore loves no one leaves, and they see that, and it's going, no, no, no, no, no. They always seem high. Yeah, well they are, they're very tall. So they would be, unless they put their necks down to the floor to drink to because that typically water sources down are down low.

00:18:18:08 - 00:18:37:21
Unknown
Someone enjoyed that outside quite clearly. So. And that is the Diplodocus we have bestows apprehend Diplodocus. So we have a tale to be told by their. So obviously to find out who tells the first three word story of the day, we are going to flip the Tomtom sweets and you can hear it here rustling away. We're going to Tomtom away.

00:18:37:24 - 00:19:11:13
Unknown
So Dylan. Yep. Questions? Always. Yep. Tomtom autism citizens. He's he's a who's it's T's and C's. We have big D of Darlington Shire telling the first three word story. Story number one right. So let me jump into it. As I mentioned today's special guest. Oh I feel I'm excited flying in all the way from Pretoria, South Africa right now.

00:19:11:13 - 00:19:51:12
Unknown
This this gentleman, also has a smallish following on his podcast. So he has 69 followers. Okay. Just so happens to be it's a I'm a fan already. He uses Afrikaans and English interchangeably. Okay. Fantastic. He's hit podcast all day. It's a hit podcast for his 69 followers. Listeners. The podcast name is Security Principles for everyone with one Thunderbolt catchy title.

00:19:51:15 - 00:20:10:17
Unknown
Yeah, very short and sweet. It rolls off the tongue. That one. I could imagine that on a T-shirt or hat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wrapped around the. Yeah. Like I could maybe print it on a thimble and give it to your Nana Christmas. Who would really like that? Just it would fit on that perfectly. Right. So. So we've got this, this gentleman, Johan Union thunderbolt.

00:20:10:19 - 00:20:43:21
Unknown
Oh, wow. His name is Johan, which translates to John. Actually, I can then Thunderbolt is, the surname. Yeah. Thunderbolt. Thunderbolt. Fun. Thunderbolt. I mean, that is a fucking fantastic name. You say bolt, move to the side because we have a fast of motherfuker here. Multi vault. I mean it's basically Bob Marley if you going to call you double look I will say this man does radiate confidence okay.

00:20:43:21 - 00:21:10:08
Unknown
Right. Right. And so just yeah he's coming in. He's coming in actually, I we've probably made him wait long enough. Okay. All right, hang on. So. Yeah. Come in, come in, come in. Hi. Hi. Good day guys. Hi, Mr. Thunderbolt, something. Right. So. Okay. Oh, hold on, hold on. Oh, let me, let me, let me before before we bring him in.

00:21:10:11 - 00:21:16:24
Unknown
So that's how you get so, so basically just, just to explain where.

00:21:17:01 - 00:21:42:18
Unknown
Actually open the door. Back up guys. Hey. Right, right. Is is this thing, is this thing on. Is it so on. Let me just adjust it for you. Right. Yeah. Is that okay? Yeah I can all right, all right. Is in the area. I, I are you on final vault and accuracy. One final vault. Right. So, just to kind of explain.

00:21:42:20 - 00:21:46:22
Unknown
Right. I,

00:21:46:24 - 00:22:27:07
Unknown
My background, I, I've attended the South African Police Service training eight, eight years in a row now. My profession or my occupation is, security work. Okay. Right, I am I am one of the most decorative security guards in the nation or the Republic of South Africa, at the Republic and a public republic of staff. Okay, so in the terms of that, you do interior decoration as well as security or decorated as in many awards for being super secure.

00:22:27:09 - 00:23:00:14
Unknown
I am unbelievably secure in who I am, so. And I am also very good at my job of keeping places secure. Okay. Donkey. Donkey. James. Donkey. Thank you. James. Donkey two. You two and I. So now eight, eight years. I'm just saying, I, I'm qualified in jujitsu, judo, karate, boxing. I've, I've watched Steven Seagal.

00:23:00:14 - 00:23:35:21
Unknown
I've watched four of his YouTube videos. So. No. Anyway, I wanted to bring you in, so, just to kind of explain, timepieces radiator wrinkle, but I, I actually don't know why I said that because I'm a guest tonight. I'm actually telling a legit story, but I am here to share my story about how their their wives were a wrinkle, a wrinkle one more time, a wrinkle.

00:23:35:24 - 00:24:08:23
Unknown
Beautiful. Yeah. Right. Which, just to explain to the people that don't, don't speak English, that do deliciously is, Too deliciously is, a wrinkle can be, a hindrance or, a problem. Might be a wrinkle even. Right, right. A crinkle problem, right, a problem. Yeah. You you for certain you understand I for stand.

00:24:08:23 - 00:24:36:23
Unknown
Yes, I this is extremely delicious. English. So. Right. So, No. So actually, one of my famous stories in which I were involved in is, the headlines of the, the local newspaper read A Wrinkle in Time pieces, but that was that was the script. That was the up script. That was the headline. This is delicious. English. Right.

00:24:37:00 - 00:25:05:22
Unknown
So, now that just to explain, I am head the I am head of security, right. And just before I go into this, I just want to remind everyone, my one of the very few lessons my father taught me is, confidence skills. Right? So in the security business, you just need confidence. Conquered. Confidence. That is name.

00:25:05:24 - 00:25:14:14
Unknown
That is the name of the game that is. You know, I'm funny speaking now.

00:25:14:16 - 00:25:44:01
Unknown
I used to work in Pretoria, right. For a small mom and pop store as. Yeah, for a small mom and pop store, as in, Tiffany and Co. Okay, so it's not Mamas and Papas, the children's wear shop. It is. It is too. It's not baby. No, no, it was it was a family run business. Okay, Tiffany and co, but, I haven't made Tiffany and I haven't made to go either.

00:25:44:07 - 00:26:05:21
Unknown
Okay. Which is, which is very, very odd because normally, I, you know, as head of entrance security, you would like to meet a esteem gentleman like myself. And, and I bet Tiffany Tiffany's lovely as well I can imagine. I've heard and I'm, I'm really sad that she never came past you, so I'm sorry about that. Yes.

00:26:05:23 - 00:26:34:11
Unknown
So. But no, no, no, many in there. It was their loss. They probably just knew their store was so secure with Mr. Thunderbolt, I Mr. Thunderbolt did some of the right. So anyway, there was we did have an incident and that is what we are here to discuss today. And maybe, you can take some pockets or nuggets of, informal information that you can use moving forward.

00:26:34:17 - 00:26:43:05
Unknown
Right. So there was an incident, one, one evening. There was.

00:26:43:07 - 00:27:17:20
Unknown
One evening that was were partic particular, but it was very quiet. Okay. So my so my family, all senses were tingling right straight off the bat. My thunderbolt senses were tingling. And, a man approached me as I was standing in front of the store, but he seemed to be concealing something itchy. Itchy, vacuous. Oh, no. So. But no, not a boner.

00:27:17:22 - 00:27:51:20
Unknown
It was, my dove. Not a boner, but a nine millimeter pistol. Right? So very dangerous in a woman's hands. So. So, first of all, step one nugget number one that you can use would be my actually a three step method, which I call a d d ad. Okay, I'd t now that that is ironically one of our top security firms, a back home.

00:27:51:22 - 00:28:19:20
Unknown
They have tried recruiting me, a bunch of times, but they've missed out. I can imagine you're your legend is is out of this world, Mr. Thunderbolt. I know, I know, James, James. You have no idea. Right. So first one I is for assess. Assess. You assess the situation. You make sure you read. You make sure to weigh the options.

00:28:20:10 - 00:28:45:04
Unknown
Because I know I once, one slapped the shit out of this lady that I thought she had the nine millimeter, but it was only a bonus anyway, I, or potentially my kitten, like you make sure that it's not a burglar in your house like that. Like the other day, it was, it was actually just my kitten, Kevin, just bumping things off of the the kitchen cupboards, but I.

00:28:45:04 - 00:29:10:23
Unknown
So anyway, anyway, back to the man, right? That that cat approached me. That was concealing something, right? Actually. And like I said, it meant, it turned out to be a pistol. A nine millimeter pistol. Right. Second one D is disarm. Right. So I needed to use either this arm or this.

00:29:11:00 - 00:29:33:23
Unknown
I was pointing to my arms just standing for for the listener. Listening. Thank you, Mr. Thunderbolt. I think your your delicious English was so good that people could just visualize it. All right, so needless to say, I knocked him out faster than Oscar Pistorius. That up? Yeah. Yeah, but we don't win in an end. You know what Mr. Thunderbolt in in Dylan's description, who's very quiet in the corner right now.

00:29:33:23 - 00:29:57:00
Unknown
So appreciate that then. I was a bit worried that his description building up to this, the special guest was going to be Oscar Pistorius. I was extremely scared. I was about to turn my back, and then we know what happens. So I'm very glad I that instead that we have the most secure man in the whole of the Republic of South Africa instead of Blade Runner himself.

00:29:57:00 - 00:30:30:09
Unknown
So that's good. Yeah. I would to stay off that side. I would have cut these blades. I am, I am on it. Right. So, Never mind. So what's what as who he. So what? Seemed like a crime. So as I'm busy disarming this particular person right. What? Seem like a crime of opportunity was actually an inside job.

00:30:30:15 - 00:31:06:09
Unknown
It was unlucky whilst I was busy over here in front, right unlucky from sales. Right on. Nikki. You. She went for our most expensive pieces in the store. Which was the time pieces, right? She was busy at the back and now as I have taken and taken care of. Let's call him Monte up front. Right. She tried to get past me.

00:31:06:09 - 00:31:31:00
Unknown
Now she was rather large, right. And, unlike it was more like monarchy. You know what I mean? That that does enough recon so you can do it. Wow. Ten people. Ten people would have got that, actually. Yeah. Yeah. So what am I googling? Modern monarchy. So am I in in. Yeah, e t j this point.

00:31:31:05 - 00:31:55:12
Unknown
Fuck off. That is not what. But say the word that you just said. Money. Keep at it. Spell. Yes. That is that is how. That is why I struggle with English. Because this language makes very much sense to me. So. So a magnitude guy, is this what it fucking says? But something is fond of what it means. Male.

00:31:55:18 - 00:32:29:02
Unknown
Yes. So. Yeah, so so I say anarchy, but, it's more like managed gi it doesn't make it, it doesn't really sound as good at English. No, it does not. And but either way, for my for listeners back home, thank you, father, for letting anyway. So. Right. Step three took into place. So we've had assess this arm tackle or then trap, whichever comes first.

00:32:29:04 - 00:33:01:03
Unknown
My tackling technique was inspired by, a few Springbok rugby players. So between Pieter-Steph, the toy Bakkies Botha, Bismarck skulk John for a bit of flair. But those are my tackle inspirations. But anyway, boom, there she goes. Une anarchy into the ground. Now I need to trap. I need to trap her now. I was in the fewer trackers, the viewer tracker is is what you would call scouts, I believe.

00:33:01:08 - 00:33:31:16
Unknown
Scouts, scouts, like scouts, as in little children who inevitably get molested. Those ones which I was not ready for that game, so I, I, I thought it was normal, but it was, you just it was sexy. You scout worldwide. Yeah. Okay. So, there was, like, so different, different skills to tie in, not to to go fishing or to scout to survive in certain circumstances which might include, it depends.

00:33:31:17 - 00:33:59:00
Unknown
Yeah. It did. Yeah. The pioneers. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So the foreskin trackers you were in yet. So the food tracker. Well, I was in troop. I was in troop 175. I was actually troop leader of, one 175. So, needless to say, I knew how to make a fisherman fisherman's knot. Right? So I, Aniki went down, and I, I then tied her up like a fisherman's.

00:33:59:00 - 00:34:21:09
Unknown
And this despite not having a rope. See to you. So you're telling me you still live? I, I you I listen, I have never seen arms fold this way, but like I tell you, just not to live. Broke them and tied her up in a record time. Right. So which I took her down. Which ironically, 175 was also flight number two of the plane.

00:34:21:09 - 00:34:59:22
Unknown
The, the. The the south tower in, in 911. But now that so is this so, Mr. Thunderbolt, is this actually what your your podcast is about? It's actually everything the, the six degrees of separation to 911 that everything. You know what? And if the shoe fits right. So anyway I was gone. So yes, I back home after this whole saga of taking down the person trying to rob the timepieces.

00:34:59:22 - 00:35:32:20
Unknown
Me absolutely radiating confidence. So yes, I was kind of like a big deal. So yes, I got given to, Hold on. So yes, I took her down. Boom. Wrapped it up. I was the hero of the day, right? This is when this time, time pieces A Wrinkle in Time. Pieces articulate came out, and, I was kind of a big deal.

00:35:32:22 - 00:35:48:22
Unknown
So I got given this by, by my manager of the store just to show appreciation of what I, what I did, it says, happy birthday.

00:35:48:24 - 00:36:21:14
Unknown
And, as this is a very important and the fact that I'm speaking on to a global audience, international audience like now, right now, I just want to, I just want to end with a quote from my father that is very dear to me, not my father, but the quote. And I just love you. That, is, how how does a mouse, when it spins?

00:36:21:16 - 00:36:49:03
Unknown
So one more time, just how does a mouse when it spins? And with that I will leave you think on it, then start on the Amazon here. And, with that I, I thank you for your time, James. Mr. Thunderbolt, it's been an absolute pleasure for that extremely coherent story. Can you again remind us of your podcast so we can tune in and hopefully up those 69 subscribers?

00:36:49:04 - 00:37:15:05
Unknown
So the podcast name is, Security Principles for everyone, with Johan van der Walt, myself, Johan Fan, I wrote and I are Johan Fan at Walt. Thank you so much. It's been an absolute pleasure, Mr. van, for. Oh, oh, he's really gone to. But but but Mr. Wonderful but but yeah. What a guest. Right. Wow. Dylan as a first guest goes there.

00:37:15:05 - 00:37:37:14
Unknown
He was fantastic. He was he was extremely cohesive. Is English like you said, was delicious. He was a delicious man. Overall. I think it was good to see some some real Afrikaans action. Hot, hot action that, so I think what we can take away that he is a master of security, a strange fascination with 911 came out in there as well.

00:37:37:14 - 00:37:56:12
Unknown
Yeah. Which I'm sure you can. We can maybe tap him up some, because I would like to see this man again. I would like, I would like to visit, another time because he was extraordinarily entertaining. The. Thank you so much for bringing him along, Dylan. For your three word story. Yes, yes. So. So technically, I just wanted to.

00:37:56:15 - 00:38:19:04
Unknown
So he might be. He might be a bit all over the show. Right. But I just wanted to kind of connect the. That was the timepieces. Let's irradiate is the wrinkle a Kunkel and he call is what the Afrikaans like which can mean a problem in the cable. I'm pretty sure I've heard all this on Teletubbies. Every word you're saying, I'm pretty sure, is the fucking nonsense that they got.

00:38:19:05 - 00:38:45:09
Unknown
Kinkel of the carpal. So. And then a new, new, Yeah, yeah. That stupid custard, man that like the custard look the best. Yeah. Always my new, new, I don't know. I Tinky Winky, you pussy. Right there in my leather. I'm bringing you story, dude. Welcome back. And we are back to three word story. So, Dylan to face still face.

00:38:46:11 - 00:39:18:03
Unknown
We have the three words Diplodocus, apprehend and bestow. Answer this one. Yes, sir. It was a difficult one, so I. I took myself to the local museum to find some inspiration. Right. And went to Dubai Museum, probably. And I definitely. Yeah, that's probably its part. And it's probably the biggest in the world or the oldest. It's probably something in the world.

00:39:18:03 - 00:39:52:20
Unknown
And I said, I need to find some inspiration and in the very back, in a kind of dark corner of the museum, I saw these so these tablets, these old, old tablets written in them was an extraordinary story of D.J. Diplodocus and his battle to drop the beat. Oh, so tablets in tablets from from the olden days, from the olden, olden days.

00:39:52:20 - 00:40:19:09
Unknown
Now the 1930s. No, this is b c yes, b c. So we're talking we're talking millennia ago. We're talking back to dinosaur times. Now I cannot guarantee that this is a true story. Maybe it's stuff of fiction, maybe it's some of legend. But what I can promise you is it came off these tablets in the back corner of a dark, dingy corner of a large museum.

00:40:19:11 - 00:40:40:20
Unknown
And this is the story. So all of us are going to need to use some drum for this. Yeah, sure. Let me take you back to dinosaur times, where T-Rex is the land. The T-Rex was essentially the dictator of the land. They ruled everything. They were an angry, angry beast. And they ruled the land of all the dinosaurs.

00:40:40:20 - 00:41:09:10
Unknown
They were the cold blooded meat eaters, and they ran over those passive, kind and collective herbivores of the dinosaur world. And they were stern and they led with an iron claw. They would get the dinosaurs to work away, slave away holding gems. Stones go deep into mines and caverns where no other being could ever find them again. Or so they thought.

00:41:09:12 - 00:41:51:22
Unknown
T-rexes couldn't do much with their tiny hands, so they felt repressed. They couldn't play music. They couldn't write on tablets and they couldn't jerk off. I want like while done. So they were angry, angry bastards. Dylan. So it was a dark time for dinosaurs. The world. It was a sad time. They were repressed. They were going around doing their work and they would retreat to the shadows for the evening, where the t-rexes would sit angrily, waiting for the next day to collect their gems and their stones.

00:41:51:24 - 00:42:25:24
Unknown
But there was a different dinosaur, and to his friends he was called DJ Diplodocus, and DJ Diplodocus thought, no, we as herbivore dinosaurs deserve to have fun. We deserve to party. Sorry to interject. I just want to make sure is that then the the species or is was he he he so was the species, the long necked giraffe like this.

00:42:26:01 - 00:42:46:03
Unknown
This is all right, D.J. Diplodocus. Okay, okay. So he gathers with his friends and bear in mind, t-rexes are down low on the floor. That all by our standards. But a diplodocus is the height is three and a half double decker London busses and no shorter and no taller. And that's where they based in London. Double deckers off.

00:42:46:03 - 00:43:09:21
Unknown
They decreed that they must be three and a half times smaller than the legendary Diplodocus. Well done. Thank you. So they gathered one day up high in the trees, in the kind of place hence where the name came from, of can, of pace. And they they talked and they spoke. And Deejay Diplodocus said, guys, I'd really like it if we had a much nicer time up here.

00:43:09:21 - 00:43:38:07
Unknown
You know, I want to play music, music, music. I want to drop beats and I want to have fun. And I would love to. What is what is it saying? But but but DJ but what if we get caught? Well, I'm not having it. I want to have fun once and for all. Decreed deejay Diplodocus. So for the remainder of the days leading up to the bust, big Friday night party for the world.

00:43:38:09 - 00:44:01:09
Unknown
Yeah. At the scene, word spread amongst parrots, amongst exotic birds. They were gathering coconuts that had been heated up in the sun for certain amount, to make them almost like a alcoholic taste. So let's rule the house. Yes, similar to how maybe elephants. That would do now to get themselves a little bit drunk with space between all the other Diplodocus meets.

00:44:01:09 - 00:44:38:01
Unknown
Meet in the canopies on Friday. Meets meet in the canopies on Friday and DJ thought to himself, how can I make this extra special? How can I make this the ultimate by day party that the world has never seen? Yeah, and he searches along the floors and he sees disused tortoise shells. He sees the bark of trees peeled off and laying on the floor, and he sees old bones of creatures past, and he gathers them up in his mouth, and he places them up in the canopies of where the first big party will ever be hosted.

00:44:38:03 - 00:45:04:05
Unknown
And then we have Friday thump thump. So we get to Friday. The diplodocus is. Heads are popped up through the canopies. They're looking at each other. There are bright ladybugs. There are bright insects adorning all the tops of the trees to give it a party like I stole disco. We have parrots flying around serving the diplomat. Okay, all of the warm coconuts they want, and they're all getting in a bit merry.

00:45:04:05 - 00:45:26:01
Unknown
And they're like, hey, this is good. This is a bit of a vibe, but there was something missing. We had the lights, we had the drinks. But Dylan, what is a Friday night party? Need? Beaches. But later, bitches come. But what else we need? We have lights. We have drinks. Oh, shit. What do we need? I was staring at that.

00:45:26:05 - 00:45:43:10
Unknown
Music. Music, music, right. We need music. Thank you. And you got that first time in the edit. So DJ dope Diplodocus, he lines his head up and he starts.

00:45:43:12 - 00:46:22:10
Unknown
He's sewing. I don't know what the. And the first time in history, the first beat was played by deejay Diplodocus. The Diplodocus. I have no idea what they're saying. They have no idea what is happening. It's ever been seen. And they partied for the biggest party Affrighted ever seen. And ever will see the hours ticked by, the drinks poured down, the lights glistened and then eat it, eat it, eat it.

00:46:22:10 - 00:46:49:23
Unknown
The sirens, the sirens of the police. Pterodactyls. Hey, hey. And they fly down and they apprehend our poor deejay Diplodocus. They grab him, they shackle his neck and they bring his head down to the canopies. They say, you know that the T-Rex decree is that they are not allowed. No beats, no fun, nothing that the T-rexes do not decree.

00:46:49:23 - 00:47:18:16
Unknown
And they drag his sweet, sweet deejays off to T-Rex court. Damn it! So there we are. Saturday morning we're in T-Rex court, DJ Diplo, Coke, Hocus Pocus. Oh my God, why am I been arrested for it? I just wanted to have fun. I just wanted to have a really, really good time. This was in California, right? It could have been it.

00:47:18:16 - 00:47:48:05
Unknown
California didn't exist. I'm just here. He's. He said I just wanted to have a bit of fun. I really wanted to have nice time playing beats. And I'm just a really big dinosaur who really wants to have a really big time. The T-Rex is menacing, stared into his eyes. That teeny tiny little hands, and they said, absolutely no way can you have fun in the dinosaur times because we don't.

00:47:48:05 - 00:48:07:00
Unknown
To create. It's not okay when we say there is no fun. We say there's no fun. So there's an impasse. All dinosaurs. Which, by the way, this is how dinosaurs sounded. I don't know what you thought that they would sound like. This is. This is said. This is what it said. Like top legal. It's that. This is. This is how dinosaurs sounded.

00:48:07:00 - 00:48:23:04
Unknown
Yeah, sure. How do you know? How would you know otherwise? Right. I read the tablets. Did you read the tablets? Yeah. Unfortunately, no, not exactly. So, I mean, did you. I did watch night of the Museum. One, two and three. Exactly. And you probably had the octaves wrong because this is actually, you know, how how it happens.

00:48:23:04 - 00:48:44:01
Unknown
Okay, so they're in the court. So the T-Rex is, say, oh my God, like, we're going to have to banish you to like, the nether Netherlands or actually just cut off his big fucking head because he's so really annoying. Oh, shit. Diplodocus. Oh, he's on his. It's on his last nerve. He needs to stand up for himself. What?

00:48:44:01 - 00:49:11:23
Unknown
Sounding like that? Would you mean this is how they sound like an idiot? Yeah. I don't know what's wrong with the voices. I mean, I don't really know what. I really don't know what you're trying to say. Because this is how dinosaurs sounded. Understood? Guys, I really I he really went for that. I. I really just want everyone to be on the same wavelength here.

00:49:12:00 - 00:49:48:24
Unknown
And I want to bring us all together. I really want us to join together in music, in harmony, be together once and for all. Is that it? I want to phone home. Elliot. I want to tell. T-rex's Diplodocus. Okay. The little yappy ones that go and have the little fans round. There are heads need to kill them. I want us to all come together in perfect harmony and live together where we can.

00:49:48:24 - 00:50:13:18
Unknown
Oh, I have fun. Now let me show you. T-rex's. Oh my God, just get on with it then, said the T-Rex. And then D.J. Diplodocus throws down the sick beat again. Okay, let's go do it. The the the the da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da. I got this beat is like oh my God like so sick.

00:50:13:18 - 00:50:40:16
Unknown
Oh my God my little hands are racing in the air. For the first time ever. I didn't even know you could have this kind of fun. Oh my God, DJ Stokes, actually, you're a really cool guy and you've actually bought all of the dinosaurs together. And we're going to live in perfect harmony. I am going to bestow on you TJ Diplodocus, the first ever bestowed mission of diplomat.

00:50:40:21 - 00:51:06:21
Unknown
I'm going to call you a diplomat, which is someone who brings everyone together, who talks are the differences and that comes from the name Diplodocus. If you didn't get it, isn't that super nice? Thank you so much, DJ Diplodocus, let's go party now. And with that they partied the Saturday night. The Sunday. Sunday was born that weekend. And the dinosaurs, they danced.

00:51:06:21 - 00:51:37:04
Unknown
They partied like it's hard. And that's where it started to change for dinosaurs. They worked in harmony. They shared their riches. They all came together. Droppin beats here, there and everywhere. DJ dope, Diplodocus went on a tour. He went down into the caverns of Central America to play what would be the last beats of dinosaurs time. Because as history history dictates, there was late.

00:51:37:04 - 00:52:13:15
Unknown
The biggest beat of all the comets that wiped out the dinosaurs. It it hit the ground and it took out, as we know, nearly all of dinosaur life. It was a sad, sad day. But down in the caverns, DJ Diplodocus was frozen in time. Oh, his body changed through time. His ways evolved with the world somewhat mystically, with the outside world.

00:52:13:17 - 00:52:43:04
Unknown
The through the movement of land and building through the Americas. The cavern was opened and out walked DJ Diplodocus, two legged, two armed, six foot one man and he looks out and he sees a changed world six foot wants. Disappointing I, I knew it would have made sense if he was taller. Yes, but he had no points of reference to grow.

00:52:43:04 - 00:53:00:15
Unknown
So, you know, it was quite good, right? It was quite good. Okay. And he walks out as the very first deployment that has ever been. And he reads a newspaper because he can read. Don't question that. He can read. Okay. Dinosaurs could read I could yeah. Yeah, they could read pure English. Just just English. They could read any language.

00:53:00:15 - 00:53:20:22
Unknown
They they did what they want. Right. They just say they were super sassy. I don't know if you got that from the dinosaurs. They're super sassy. They do what the fuck they want to. Yeah. Okay. And he saw the tyranny of the world. He saw saw issues where they needed the world's first diplomat. So D.J. Diplodocus needed a bit of a rebrand.

00:53:20:22 - 00:53:47:03
Unknown
He saw that, of course, long names aren't going to get you out on TikTok. It's pretty shit. TikTok handle deejay Diplodocus. So he abbreviated name to just simply Diplo and Diplo then proceeded to open and write songs such as songs like heartless reminds him of the T-Rex. His time, where they were heartless, where they were like, now you cannot even play music.

00:53:47:05 - 00:54:15:16
Unknown
So he has songs like Genius to himself is a homage from when he was hosting parties Up in the canopies, and then probably his most famous song, featuring Jay Bieber. First name, last name, where are you now? And as we know, DJ Diplodocus, aka Diplo is Sun in the beach up in Florida somewhere as the first ever diplomat.

00:54:15:18 - 00:54:43:02
Unknown
And that is I mean, they were big tablets, by the way. Obviously, they were big ass tablets to get this, potentially true story off. Who knows? But that is the, the the story that I was inspired by these, these tablets, of apprehend Bustos. Diplodocus. Yeah. I love how you go into one thing. And I mean, it just keeps on giving.

00:54:43:02 - 00:55:03:13
Unknown
It's the gift that keeps on giving because you enter one thing and then you keep kind of following. I'm not always sure where you go with it. I mean, I'm I struggled to connect my words fair, but I was just about I struggled as well to connect. It starts but you know, it happens. You'd say that almost the same person.

00:55:03:15 - 00:55:24:06
Unknown
No. I mean, I saw two different guys. I heard the door repeatedly open and close. It was a bit of a clusterfuck. So, ladies and gentlemen, those were our three word stories today in this extraordinarily long episode by accident. But hey, there was detail, there was fun, there was filler. But please remember to like, subscribe, follow, share with your friends.

00:55:24:06 - 00:56:01:22
Unknown
Tell everyone about the original diplomat. Tell everyone about Mr. Thunderbolts wonderful podcast for someone to help and support and spread the word. That three word story will be back this time next week. Tune in. Tune in. Tuna tuning. Tuna. Tuna. Tuna. Tuned by.