24. Proto-type or Not? & Kevin Meets Barbara

James and Dylan return with another improv comedy episode, taking three words from the What3Words app to create hilarious stories with unexpected twists and outlandish characters.

• Dylan shares his weekend story of being stood up at a meeting spot after walking 2km in sweltering heat
• The hosts plan to use South America as their geographic focus for finding their three words
• James selects Suriname to create a business that helps people choose new surnames and nicknames
• Dylan proposes a coca leaf tea export business based on traditional uses in South America
• James plays recently divorced comedian Kevin on a disastrous date with militant vegan Barbara
• "Prototype or Not" game show pits Dylan against historical inventions with a tiger as punishment for wrong answers
• The hosts spontaneously create a theme song for their fictional game show
• Dylan and James receive new nicknames: Dill Pickle and Newsflash

If you would like to get in touch with James and Dylan, please email us at the3wordstory@gmail.com. Send your reviews, negative or positive, or even your three words, and we'll read them out on air.

Thank's for listening, Tune in next week for another episode! 

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Transcript

Welcome to Three Word Story

Speaker 1 0:00

Welcome to Three Word Story. I'm James.

Speaker 2 0:02

I'm Dylan.

Speaker 1 0:03

And this is the podcast where we take three words from the app.

Speaker 2 0:06

What three words.

Speaker 1 0:07

And improv the shit out of a story.

Speaker 2 0:10

Today on Three Word Story Nailed it.

Speaker 1 0:13

What am I doing here, Dylan? You may think you may ask. Well, with.

Speaker 2 0:18

Sorry, let me ask, what are we doing there? Slap me on the ass and call me Dilpical.

Speaker 3 0:23

This is what I wanted to avoid being Barbara in the story.

Speaker 1 0:30

Is it prototype or not? Oh, that's fear that you've got what came first the mannequin or the mannequin Dill Pickle. How are you doing today?

Speaker 2 0:50

hi, james, I'm doing picklish thank you.

Speaker 1 0:56

Okay, so you're feeling picklish today I lived in pick a lily square.

Speaker 2 1:01

Do you have you ever?

Speaker 1 1:01

been to pick aadilly Square. No, it was Piccadilly.

Speaker 2 1:05

Piccadilly Square.

Speaker 1 1:06

Yeah, yeah, so I played so much Monopoly in my life. You'd think I would know that I don't come from London, so I wouldn't know it for that reason ah, okay, but yeah. Piccadilly Square. I don't know how we got here, but hey ho, how are you Dill Pickle today? What?

Speaker 2 1:19

saying yeah, yeah, another match, all good. Uh have been been a pretty productive weekend I guess.

Speaker 1 1:27

Okay, tell me. Tell me where has the productions come from your productivity?

Speaker 2 1:32

productions. Got a bit of work done. Uh, trying to help out a few buyers of mine hopefully, hopefully getting to ending stages within the next week, week or so oh Ooh, real estate talk with three-word story, and do you know what that is, dylan?

Speaker 4 1:49

Nice job. One more time Nice job.

Speaker 2 1:59

I think we should have somebody screen these.

Speaker 1 2:01

for us, this is a good one.

Speaker 4 2:04

You're telling me you don't like nice job I'm surprised it came so early.

Speaker 1 2:11

I was kind of trying to play that out, but the fact you're talking about work and you did it on the weekend, it's impossible for me not to go not to go nice job. Okay, shit, right, calm down, mate. So okay, so Okay. So you've been doing some work. What else Been?

Speaker 2 2:24

doing some work. We were supposed to go to and a bit of play was supposed to be involved Was so, yeah, yeah, we were supposed to head out to the range yesterday. Yes, yes, Kind of sports, city side, else club side Potentially having a beer or two afterwards?

Speaker 1 2:43

Oh, that sounds exciting. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 2:45

and then however, for various reasons, I, brandon, I love you, but yeah, I guess plans changed in the meantime and I showed up.

Speaker 1 3:02

Why aren't we recording this, the visuals? Because I, you know we could have seen that Dylan didn't think that it was a nice job from brandon at all. There was pure salt on that face, okay, so they, they planned yeah, or at least yeah.

Speaker 2 3:17

no, it was kind of just uh, uh, we planned the previous day and I said, okay, that's fine, I'll see you tomorrow at three. And that's why I left it, because I figured actually that's how plans work, that okay, that's fine, I'll see you tomorrow at three, and that's why I left it?

Speaker 1 3:26

because I figured I'll see you tomorrow at 10. That's how plans work and they turn into a Nice job.

Speaker 2 3:30

I love how you just tee yourself up just to fucking fit in with the soundboard. Every time it's like what do we goat? Yeah, I think that one we can probably let go of.

Speaker 1 3:50

Nice, Okay, well, I'm very surprised by that. Okay, right Now I've rinsed the soundboard for the whole of the episode. Please tell me what happened and why. Oh no.

Speaker 2 4:03

So basically showed up. He was like oh shit, man, sorry, i'm'm still at home, but if we can do this later, this later. And uh, at that particular point he was like no, because it just seemed a tad bit too hot. And I was like yeah, I just walked two k's to get here, I don't know it's very well.

Speaker 1 4:20

That's where the saltiness came from.

Speaker 2 4:21

I think more so from the sweat and also the shirt that I decided to wear was probably the worst. It was a linen shirt and it looks like I was swimming.

Speaker 1 4:38

But I thought linen was meant to be good for hot weather. I see lots of rich people wearing linens.

Speaker 2 4:42

I can understand that, I don't know why. But this particular shirt, maybe I sweat-ed it so much that no material would have worked in that setting.

Speaker 1 4:54

So you looked in the mirror and you were like Okay, well, did you try and call it. So before you left, you just assumed all plans were swimming, which I get that. Do you not try and reach out?

Speaker 2 5:05

I did try and reach out a couple of times but it was I didn't realize. But I called from my work number and as far as I know he doesn't have that number. So he was like why is? Why is this real estate?

Speaker 1 5:17

loser trying to call me over again and he was just like fuck this guy I don't want property today. Screw this guy. Uh, well, that's fair enough, that makes sense. I, if I was him on a saturday well, it's sunday today, so yeah, saturday I probably would have done the same thing. Um, actually, in the news, dilla, I don't know if you read there was a guy, if someone I don't read oh, that's true, you can't read.

Speaker 4 5:37

I don't know why you're staring at your laptop.

Speaker 1 5:39

It's just pictures of farm animals just popping up and that's why you smile so much and you look at it and go nice. So yeah, there was this guy in america, right, and um, he was hiking somewhere in the wilderness and he got lost and he went out there by himself, but he told people where, what he was doing, where he's going, so I'm going hiking around at this point I'll be back at this time. And when he wasn't back at said time, then they sent out resc rescuers to try and find him. Okay, and the rescuers were trying to call him and because it was a number he didn't recognize, he just would not answer the phone. They phoned him three, four times, as there's an actual search party out for him, and he's looking at this unknown number and he's like, fuck, I'm lost, why am I going to pick up the phone to these fuckers? He would not pick up the phone to them and then eventually got himself back to the car, in which case the rescuers were like what the fuck man, why did you?

Speaker 4 6:34

do that, so America Nice job.

Speaker 2 6:40

Also why America?

Speaker 1 6:42

specifically Because he was an American person in America doing American things, such as being lost and not answering your phone, and I also assume that he had signal and didn't do anything about it. What a freaking top top American fella America fuck.

Speaker 2 7:00

Yeah. Yeah, that was a bad, thank you Drop it down low with three word story.

Speaker 3 7:08

So, speaking of the Americas.

Weekend Updates and Failed Plans

Speaker 1 7:11

We're going to South America, the South. All right, so you came up with an interesting location setting to find our three words. So, again for anyone chiming in on episode 24 for the first time, essentially the premise, how we work is we use the map app What3Words and we locate a place which gives you three random unique words and we use those words to tell a story. Now, dylan, you came up with what. What were we going to do to find our location for our three words?

Speaker 2 7:43

I wanted to keep it kind of location centric, obviously and then I was like yeah, no, no no, and then I was like, okay, let's stick to, let's stick to a certain certain continent, and I figured, yeah, why not south america? And then I was like south america. And then, yes, um, some, some illegal activities entered my mind in terms of business strategy. And then I was like well, find places to start a business or business ideas within. Okay, it's fine, because you know.

Speaker 1 8:16

Central and South America are usually linked to narcos some drug-related instances.

Speaker 2 8:21

I'm not wrong in saying that I mean look for right or for wrong.

Speaker 1 8:26

They're usually linked with, uh, you know, drug kingpins and stuff like that. So I've gone a slightly different way. All right, okay, so I think it's the first time we've we've gone to south america to try and find ourselves uh, three words. So it was interesting. I don't know that much about south america and this is what kind of interests me, so I went on a journey across South America, dylan, as I'm sure you would have loved to hear. Dora the Explorer.

Speaker 4 8:51

No, I stayed away from Dora the.

Speaker 1 8:52

Explorer and and I went to now I haven't actually clarified the pronunciation of this place. Ah, okay, but to me it reads as Suriname, it's Suriname, suriname.

Speaker 2 9:10

Suriname. Okay, so they know it.

Speaker 1 9:13

Yeah, so it's on the top of the South Americas. Okay, so I have read it as Suriname. It could be Suriname.

Speaker 2 9:22

It could be Suriname. You just say it in an accent and then you sort it out well, actually that would be.

Speaker 1 9:29

That would actually be the wrong, um, the wrong accent. Dylan, it would actually be a dutch accent, because the language spoken in serename is dutch. That is the official language of serename, which is on the very northern peak of the South American continent. So South Suriname is a small country on the northeastern coast of South America. It's defined by vast swathes of tropical rainforest, dutch colonial architecture which I know you'd fucking love being South African, and all your zany zany language that you speak and a melting pot of culture, just like certificate. On its Atlantic coast is the capital, para Maribo, where palm gardens grow, near Fort Zealandia, a 17th century trading post, and, as I said, their language is dutch. So there we go. Did you know that your language obviously, for those who don't know is is a lot related to dutch and english and french and german.

Speaker 1 10:34

Okay, so it's just a clusterfuck, but you can understand a lot of dutch, right like you can hear people speaking dutch, and you can.

Speaker 2 10:41

You can yeah, I can, I can words.

Speaker 1 10:42

So you could go to Der Leename and you could sit with these people and maybe be like huh, I kind of know what's going on, which is a beautiful thing, right, like you can be in Cedric and you could meet someone from Central Europe and you could also meet someone from Der Leename in South America, and you maybe will have a broken conversation with each other.

Speaker 2 11:03

That was pretty nice, right, I think it's pretty nice, and the fact that this is in the caribbean, I think that's pretty cool. Yeah, it's kind of like setting wise, it's like the ideal holiday destination, and then you kind of have some sprinkles of some other um, like the dutch past as well.

Speaker 1 11:17

Exactly, it's, you know, and it's mainly rainforest, like it's an extremely dense rainforest place, um, and I'm gonna take none of that into account with my business idea so instead of instead of looking into the rich history of the place, the luscious forest, what I am going to do is future. It's basically, um, take the piss out their name slightly. Well, not take the piss, but I'm gonna take, I'm gonna take, I'm going to be inspired by their name. So, as I said, I read this as Suriname, as in surname. Okay.

Speaker 2 11:49

That's yeah.

Speaker 1 11:50

Now there is a town to the northwestern side of Suriname called Nickery. Okay, now in Nickery.

Speaker 2 12:02

Just be careful, I'm just.

Speaker 1 12:03

Nickery In Nickery. Be careful, I'm just Nickery in Nickery.

Speaker 4 12:08

okay, one more time in Nickery nice job, thank you, thanks, man, I love this guy, by the way.

Speaker 1 12:14

He really makes me feel good about myself. Look, I didn't grow up with a father, so having a guy telling me that I'm doing a nice job is really good, and maybe that's why I'm over emphasizing the button. But Nice job, it's really good, and maybe that's why I'm overemphasizing the button. But knickery, nice job Is where we are. So what am I doing here, dylan, you may think you may ask.

Speaker 2 12:30

Well, with Sorry, let me ask what are we doing there, Jen?

Speaker 3 12:36

Thanks for asking, Dylan.

Speaker 2 12:39

Fucking prompting me, you think you'd mind asking.

Speaker 1 12:50

You might want to fucking say a question or two, dylan, and, prompting me, you think you'd mind ask thank you very much.

Speaker 1 12:53

Well, thank you for, uh, for asking that question unprompted. I appreciate that in a in a world that we live in now, dylan, where people are clambering for individualism and often that leads to people choosing unique names or names that don't necessarily fit into their region, their culture, or maybe they name their children after characters out of a show which is basically along the lines of child abuse. So people shouldn't do that. So what I want is Suriname, and in particular Nickery, to be the capital of the world of where you go to choose a new family name or a new nickname for yourself. So it is, it is, there is, there is pomp, there is ceremony, and you go there and you are christened, whatever this new name will be, or you are christened whatever this new nickname will be okay, and because I want suriname or surname to be the kind of evolution of this, it's going to be ai powered, okay. So, sir, uh, what was it now? Nickery, nickery nice job is along a river.

Speaker 1 13:54

Okay, so we can submerge ourselves some supercomputers, so they can be, they can be cooled and we can use ai to power the, the generation of surnames and nicknames.

Speaker 1 14:06

Does that make sense? So this is my business idea Surname and nickery. People come there and it's like they go for two weeks, they stay in the rainforest, they meditate, they hum, they become a piece and they tear away their name and everything that's connected with it. Okay, so I go in as James Royal, okay, and I, I release my name. You know, I, I, I'm not my name anymore. I'm not bound by that. I'm a spirit, I'm an Eagle flowing through the rainforest. For some reason, and and and, and I approach the elders, who will then assign me a new name and I can be whatever that wants to be, and the elders are the elders or the supercomputer they are the elders, but there's a super cute computer behind them, right?

Speaker 2 14:48

this is this is.

Speaker 1 14:49

this is new age, right? So we've got to. You know, I want to use some pomp and ceremony, but I also want to use some, some cheeky ai. So, uh, what I've done is, through the development of, uh, this ai, because I'm going through this, I've already spoken to uh, some some Suriname and in in Nickery and we're going to go ahead with it. So, um, I've already been developing the AI software. So, um, I I've already gone ahead and gotten you a new surname and a new nickname Okay. So, um, I've asked this surname and nickname supercomputer in Suriname. I said, uh, give me a surname and a nickname idea for a South African national called Dylan. He is five foot eight and a half, enjoys mid-2000s comedy films and works in real estate in Dubai. He loves to play golf and wink at people. Okay, so, so the surname Love is a strong word for winking at people.

Speaker 2 15:40

Okay, sure, let's go.

Speaker 1 15:46

I thought I wanted to be honest and, uh, say how much you love to wink at people. Now, uh, the the surname that is generated. So, again, this is. This is this is through pomp mystique you are. You are dylan marlo marlo marlo and it explains it has a cool, smooth, easygoing ring to it.

Speaker 2 16:09

Fits someone who winks and works and just get me a new new set of chompers as well. Let me go for veneers so, so, dylan marlo.

Speaker 1 16:23

so look, when you winked at that woman, she seemed a bit disturbed. If she heard that you were Dylan Marlowe, everything would have changed. She'd be like. That would have made sense. So what did I call you at the beginning of the episode? Dillpickle, dillpickle. So the nickname is Eva. So it gives us two choices, oh wonderful.

Speaker 2 16:46

It gives us two choices. Choices thought I was off the hook with marlo. Okay, now we're leaning towards pickles phallic shaped great, um, happy you're enjoying this. What's the fucking name?

Speaker 1 16:58

so it's. It's indeed a dill pickle. Uh, the explanation is playful and memorable, plus it feels very mid-2000s comedy, which it does dill pickle dill pickle, it's so yeah, frat boy vibes, it's fine so you have a and the elders have given you a choice. You can either have dill pickle or you can, or you could quite simply have winks. Super simple, and if he's always winking at people, it could catch on easily. That's what it said. So are you a dill pickle or a winks?

Speaker 2 17:41

I'm leaning towards, obviously, the more normal sounding one, but I feel it's a trap, right, things are never straightforward with you, james, so fine Cause, slap me on the ass and call me deal pickle.

Speaker 1 17:55

That's fine, okay, nice. Well, I didn't want to just single you out there and so very quickly I did, do. I did do one for myself as well, um. So it's now do one for myself as well. Um. So I'd say, now do one for james.

Speaker 1 18:07

He's 30 years old and works as a sales manager in real estate. He has ear stretchers and likes reading the news and generally is irritatingly comedic. He's five foot eleven and a half with blue eyes and blonde hair, would you say that's about right. Yes, okay, cool. So he said, um, and this is the again the serename, sacred, ai powered generation I've been working on it said James sounds like a character.

Speaker 1 18:25

Here's what I suggest. So I've released the name Royal and I am now James Huxley A bit sharp and clean but still has personality, fits a sales manager who's sharp-witted and a bit cheeky. James Huxley, huxley, huxley. Now I have two options for a nickname and I Huxley Huxley. Now I have two options For a nickname and I'll let you decide which one to go for. I can either have Stretch Because of the ear stretchers and also plays on him being tall-ish I like how it says Tall-ish, that's bang on or Newsflash, since he loves reading the news and is probably always Dropping random facts In a comedic way. So I can either be Stretch or Newsflash. What do you reckon, dylan?

Speaker 2 19:08

No, I think I'd call you Newsflash.

Speaker 4 19:10

Nice job.

Speaker 1 19:11

Newsflash. It is, then. So we have Dill, pickle and Newsflash coming to you. Three word story Dill, pickle and Newsflash. Right, dylan, what's up? What was your business and where?

Speaker 2 19:26

And why, right? So obviously the nefariousness of what South America has cooked up historically with their trade. Yeah, yeah, a lot of that is linked to the coca leaves. Okay, yeah, right, and obviously the it's been used in various forms and it's yes, yes, the obvious one might be it's used to, um, uh, it's used to make cocaine. What, what?

Speaker 1 20:04

you're telling me. You are telling me, that was no surprise that you were going to be surprised because you

Speaker 2 20:11

were sitting with your fingers on the button at any one point.

Speaker 1 20:16

I could be ready for a celebration, I could be ready for a shock, I could be ready for a very, very funny time, or I could be ready for, as we know, nice job okay. So look, I was prepared for whatever was coming out your mouth, and it just turned out to be shocking that what they grow cocaine in south america yeah what?

Finding Three Words in South America

Speaker 2 20:38

and then I figured okay, okay, um, coca-cola ryan is, uh also, I don't want to say famous for, but that taste is derived from the coca leaves, true, true, true, which eventually then got removed, not because people were getting high, but yeah, it was always a risk of, was always a risk of. So I wanted to move away from the cocaine part of things because traditionally, um, some of the tribes over there um basically just make tea from the coca leaves and this particular tea, um is, is a stimulant, so natural energy boosts, um increased levels of focus and is this actually?

Speaker 2 21:25

available and is it actually legal um it? It's not legal anywhere else besides peru, colombia or then bolivia okay, well, three-word story tour.

Speaker 1 21:35

Going is to any one of those places okay.

Speaker 2 21:37

So, uh, apparently, if you want to grow it legally, you need to get it from either one of those three countries and um, apparently the export of that is is quite difficult. Um, in the legalities of okay so not the tariffs? Then yeah, no, not the tariffs, but the legality but then I also thought of, like okay, but it really does seem to have quite a few benefits and it seems like a business that actually could be a business.

Speaker 1 22:12

So does it. I don't know how much you know about this. You've been very chatty so far today, so I don't know if you've been doing samples already. Is it basically tea, cocaine, or is it just?

Speaker 2 22:25

No.

Speaker 1 22:25

Yeah.

Speaker 2 22:26

It takes. It takes the the cocaine high part out of it, because again, it's um, that is where the human touch kind of comes in. That's where they mix it with whatever fucking bath salt or whatever. That's. That's manmade. But the natural coca leaf as is is um, yeah, it's actually pretty good for you. It's just people don't trust it, but people in those areas have been using that for thousands of years.

Speaker 1 22:56

So, yeah, I really feel like this has now turned into a joe rogan podcast.

Speaker 2 23:00

I feel like, actually, but what I wanted to say is we just export, that we start. We started off in africa because, um, yeah, or at least where I'm from it's pretty lawless anyway. So, yeah, we just start selling it there, okay. So we're gonna get some there, and I guess like then that moves it.

Speaker 1 23:17

You know a bit eastern okay and we can be, uh, having some tea around there, nice, and then they drink the tea and they become a little bit more fluid, they become a little bit more spiritual, you know, then they're feeling like, look, pre-tu, you need to release that name.

Speaker 4 23:37

You need to release that, you need to reborn yourself for post-TU.

Speaker 1 23:40

Then, bam, we get them into one of our tourism shops, we get that one-way ticket to suriname and take them to nickery, we get them a new name and they, they, they spend on treatments of, like yoga and t-shirt, yeah, and, and there we go, and then we can just, you know, have a an amazonian cult surname thing going.

Speaker 3 24:00

yeah, sounds wonderful yeah, it's glad that we can.

Speaker 1 24:03

We might as well like okay, so we're gonna have like this three-word story enterprises and then I will branch off into the surname and nickname stuff. You'll branch off into the not cocaine, not cocaine stuff, the coca leaf, coca leaves, and I think there's a great place to start yeah then we can do our touring show, we can have the, the krampus musicals, we can have all of that good stuff.

Speaker 2 24:24

You know what's our theme park, jonah? Yeah, I know we can go buy out.

Speaker 1 24:29

Black Gang Shine and we can have.

Speaker 3 24:31

Jonah Hill there. Yeah, like man, we have an absolute killer enterprise on the go.

Speaker 1 24:36

So, dylan, yes, I'm thinking of a number. I need you to guess if it's even or odd.

Speaker 2 24:42

Yeah, it's definitely. Even it was odd. So it was definitely odd.

Speaker 3 24:54

You will go first for today's three word story. Drop it down low with three word story.

Speaker 2 25:00

Lovely note, all right, so Hualaga.

Speaker 1 25:09

River Bless you In, you, in the.

Speaker 4 25:10

Oh yeah, that's a point oh fuck, do you know what we did? We didn't say what our three words were it's only the 24th episode, right?

Speaker 2 25:15

so your three words are, and they've taken you where they've taken me to just pronounce it again hua laga River in Peru. Ooh, okay, right, stuck to my three block radius. Nice, ended up with note cards, vegans and worms. So say again Note cards From the top, yeah yeah. Take it from the top.

Speaker 1 25:40

So the three words, so you selected a square.

Speaker 2 25:42

Yeah, yeah, selected a square Note cards Is one word Vegans, okay, worms.

Speaker 1 25:50

Note the fact that note cards is one word is just yes, note cards, it's just. It's not note cards, it's note cards, note cards, note cards, yeah yeah, yeah so note cards vegans and worms, worms yeah, okay, yeah, that's one how the fuck you're gonna weave this into a story. I am excited and I really hope that you do a nice job good, I'll take it away.

Speaker 2 26:12

Thanks, greg, from the top yeah yeah, thank you, greg, appreciate it. Oh, that's how I'm falling into the story now. Yeah, I hope so. Okay, well, all right, so let me. Let me give a bit of background. Yes, please, you, soulja Boy, you are going to be going on a date, james. However, you won't be going on a date as yourself. You will be going on a date as a character in my story. Okay, my wife will be pleased. That's good. Yeah, yeah, so, but I have secured.

Speaker 2 26:53

I I have kind of bitched out from participating in this story because I've never done that before so I will just be handing you some prompts and some backgrounds and I and you just naturally give me your response. Obviously, I cannot respond then yet again, because my name is not actually barbara and we are not. It is yeah, it no, no, no no, however. Okay, no, no, however, so a bit of background to yourself. Your name's Kevin.

Speaker 3 27:27

Okay.

Speaker 2 27:28

Hi Kevin, you recently got divorced, oh okay, yeah, it's quite sad. However, you are now back on the dating scene but since, like, it's been a pretty rough terrain out there for most people and, yeah, you've got to be aware of what you say and people's feelings and and and Right, so I will be going on this date. And how old is Kevin?

Speaker 1 28:02

by the way, and where is Kevin from? Mid-40s, okay, mid-40s, okay, I'm mid-40s.

Speaker 2 28:06

Where am I from? You can be from the UK. I think I said Thank the fuck for that.

Speaker 1 28:09

Yeah, because I've not prepared an accent at all. Okay, right, so Kevin, mid-40s, do I wear a hat?

Speaker 2 28:15

Oh, that's very important.

Speaker 1 28:27

No, a pipe if you, if you like one, yeah, that's fantastic. Okay and um, is this a like, a proper smoking pipe, or is it a bart simpson bubble-esque pipe, you know, because? That's what people naturally I need to clear this up for kevin. I really need to. I need to embrace kevin's character and and physically, if I'm kevin right now and I had to escape from a fire in a three-story burning building, how likely am I to get out?

Speaker 2 28:54

No, I think you are fairly movable. Also, occupation-wise, you are a comedian. I made this a bit easier for you. I gave you room to run. Okay, well, the bubble pipe would make sense for a comedian. Easier for you, Okay, like I gave you room to to run.

Speaker 1 29:05

Okay, well, the bubble pipe would make sense for a comedian. Then that checks out. And I'm wily enough to get out of a fire and that checks out why I wouldn't wear a hat, because if I'm going to go get my hat then I could perish in the fire, because I'm going to get my very, very, very valuable hat and obviously my my bubble pipe. Right, does that all check out? That all checks?

Speaker 2 29:22

out Okay Brilliant. Right Now, the person you are going on the date with right. It's Barbara. We met online. Okay Interesting. Okay Now her bio she all that you kind of need to know is she is very opinionated.

Speaker 3 29:44

She's vegan.

Speaker 2 29:48

And you could stick to that Like you can run wherever Now, within this, I do provide some note cards for you because you, as Kevin, slightly nervous.

Speaker 1 30:01

getting back onto the dating, scene yeah, back in the halls.

Business Ideas: Surname and Nickname Hub

Speaker 2 30:04

So I'll maybe just read you the uh uh the note card before you can then choose to use it, or like a dating coach in this I, I guess so. Okay, I guess so okay, but um, as, depending on how this date progresses, I mean I might just fucking chuck the note cards out the window, who knows? Okay, all right, mine done anyway and sorry, who's playing? Barbara.

Speaker 1 30:28

I will be speaking as barbara okay, so you'll be so with gary won't be okay no, because he's just nice job. That's all he says so otherwise it'd be a very good date. So, no, gary, no, no gary. Okay, all right. What do you think about that, gary?

Speaker 4 30:43

nice job he agrees, he agrees that was good, that was a good production. What's?

Speaker 2 30:47

amazing to me is I keep on looking as if, as if, as if Gary's in the room with us.

Speaker 1 30:53

Weirdly, we both do. I think it's getting a bit hot and delirious and we've had too many cocoa leaves this morning.

Speaker 2 31:08

So that scene? Um, right, we at the restaurant. And uh, you know barbara's vegan, right? You've greeted each other and having a sit down now as you are receiving your meals? Oh, nice, nice barbara, considering she is vegan and apparently also a nutter because she's based off of Dylan's imagination. Oh my goodness, barbara thanks each piece of lettuce individually before eating it. So, kevin, she looks at you expectantly. What do you?

Speaker 1 31:43

doara, that's a. That's a lovely thing you do there. Um, it's interesting that you, you do that, barbara. Now, um, are you personalizing your food, as in giving them a soul every time? You, you thank, uh, the the lettuce. Yes, you are okay. So, uh, let me get this straight. So, when you look at a, an iceberg of letters, which I believe is what they're called in the vegan society, do you see one being or do you see a collection of many souls, as in each leaf is its own soul.

Speaker 2 32:17

No, I see each iceberg, as they call it.

Speaker 1 32:21

Iceberg. Yeah, yeah, it is an iceberg, oh it's an iceberg.

Speaker 2 32:23

Okay, yeah, that is one berg, it's a collective as one this is what I wanted to avoid being barbara in the story now. I'm just barbara in me I just wanted you to make a fucking wisecrack at her, thanking her letters, and now, all of a sudden, I'm thinking out a story so sorry about barbara.

Speaker 1 32:56

You know that is a, that is a lovely thing. Uh, now, do you, do you not see when you so, when you're thanking it? Are you seeing a soul within the letters?

Speaker 2 33:05

knowing where it came from.

Speaker 1 33:06

Yes, okay, so you would say that you are a bit of a soul crusher then, because you put them in your mouth and you, you crush them. I would assume now, if that's okay, barbara, because, uh, I have actually, um, I'm actually part of this corporation that specializes in rename surnames, okay, and we can also do redo a nickname for you. So, uh, we can ask the elders and we may be able to get you, um, a barbara, uh, iceberg crusher, um, you know, maybe, and maybe we can, maybe it'll be a nice treat for us, you know, if it all goes well, you know what?

Speaker 2 33:36

I mean barbara. If it allows me to go on to my next question, yes, that's fine, very formal, barbara. Thank you very much. Uh, so barbara proudly shows her her vegan tattoo, okay, and then she asks um, do you have any tattoos, james?

Speaker 1 33:56

uh, funny enough, barbara, I do. And uh, instead of the, the casual black ink, uh, I decided to take the ink from a squid and inject it inside myself. Now I bet you're thinking as a vegan, it's probably a little bit too far. Well, barbara, as I thought I was just about to bash this squid's brains in before I eat it, which is the Japanese way of eating, the Sokonami way of smashing a squid skull in with a rock, a jaggedy rock, I thought, hey, as a ceremonial event, just before I get my new surname, why do I not take its ink whilst it looks at me deep in the eyes and inject it into my skin as drawing its young? So it looks at and it's seeing me drawing its young, which I've already kidnapped, by the way. I already have it in a cage to, uh, to myself, and I'm gonna inject his ink inside me to draw out their young, um, before I eat it.

Speaker 1 34:49

So, yeah, funny enough. Uh, barbara, I, I do. Um, I guess you wouldn't call it necessarily vegan, maybe a bit psychotic, but hey, I'm kevin, I don't wear hats and I love bubble pipes.

Speaker 2 35:01

Lovely to know. Good on you, kevin. Thanks, barbara.

Speaker 1 35:04

I love your voice, by the way.

Speaker 2 35:08

Very nice, right. So, kevin, the restaurant's loud, you raise your voice slightly just to be heard, and Barbara accuses you of masculine verbal dominance Okay, interesting.

Speaker 1 35:27

Yes, I actually work out my throat on a regular basis I have.

Speaker 2 35:31

They call me the throat goat.

Speaker 1 35:34

The elders gave me the new name, so I do, um, I do a lot of throat reps, I do a lot of a lot of throat squats, uh, and I have a localized steroid injection into my throat. So, yes, it's very strong, you know. And look, it's not about necessarily being overly masculine or dominating you, barbara, I just want a six pack on my Adam's apple, because everyone has just a standard curved Adam's apple. I want mine to look like Cristiano Ronaldo's torso and I just want mine to look like cristiano ronaldo's torso and I just want it to be like there. So, uh, I've even actually you can see, with the remaining squid ink, that I had two little nipples, so that's what, like his chest would look like. And then here's the, the six pack. So sometimes, every now and then, I do, uh, speak a bit loudly, but that's just because I have a rippling, rippling throat all right, okay, that's, that's wonderful, that's really nice no just

Speaker 2 36:33

joking I'm not gonna open that door um so worms I'm sorry, barbara I've got

Speaker 1 36:42

it, you've got it yeah, I wonder why you were shuffling around in your seat so um.

Speaker 2 36:47

I brought Barbara brought, barbara brought uh a Tupperware of worms.

Speaker 4 36:56

Okay, why you ask.

Speaker 2 36:58

Yeah, yeah, because now thinking that she's vegan, how would that work. How would that work, barbara?

Speaker 1 37:10

why do you have a box full of worms? As a vegan, they seem like they're in distress.

Speaker 2 37:17

Barbara please tell me. Why do you have some worms? So what it boils down to is the menus aren't always vegan friendly. Okay, so I bring out my own protein of worms and worms are good for protein, but they are all dead. And who killed them? Probably the fact that they don't have oxygen in the barbara, I'm gonna say that's not very vegan.

Speaker 1 37:51

Uh, you said that you've claimed you're a vegan. I saw, I saw you go to the bathroom and cry about my squid story, uh, but now you have, uh, suffocated a cluster of worms inside a box. That seems pretty, seems pretty evil, barbara and also not very well thought out at all is, if you were gonna, if you're gonna, introduce the word worms into the story as a vegan, it just doesn't sound very thought through. I could almost say that it wasn't a nice job thank you, gary.

Speaker 1 38:21

Yeah, sorry, uh, I bring him everywhere on dates it's we're not together we're not together, uh, but he looks after me, um, after the whole squid incident.

Speaker 2 38:29

Legally he has to be here. The court ordered ah, understood well, to get back to uh, to barbara. Um, no, it wasn't well thought out. No, not at all. I know. I don't know what you want me to tell you. I thought of making the worms Come back to life, because I now have possessed those powers, of course.

Speaker 1 38:54

And then also.

Dylan's Coca Leaf Tea Enterprise

Speaker 2 38:55

I was like, why bring them back to life, then why the? Fuck, would she have worms with her, and even if she eats the live worms Now I'm like that's not vegan either. Just because you it's basically hunting insects. So you know what James? Next one, Barbara tells a vegan joke.

Speaker 1 39:19

Oh, I can't wait for this one. Everything's been so well thought out already. I'm sure this is going to be sensational yeah.

Speaker 3 39:43

Fine, why did the tomato?

Speaker 1 39:44

turn red. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it's just the restaurant is going crazy gary thinks it's a nice job and everyone else is still laughing because that was an absolute what a barber.

Speaker 2 39:57

But she demand, she demands. You tell one of your best jokes motherfucker, I don't know any jokes I literally.

Speaker 1 40:09

I don't know any jokes, barbara. I'm more of a very much on the fly kind of guy, yeah, yeah yeah, speaking of on the fly kind of guy, um, why did um the? Why did the duck blush?

Speaker 3 40:26

because it's all. Because it's all because it's all duck quacks duck quacks oh, for fuck's sake oh, that's funny, that jumped to mind we will not say from where?

Speaker 4 40:47

yeah, it was from a valuable, very hilarious source.

Speaker 1 40:52

Any more, any more barbara. This date is going very, very well.

Speaker 2 40:56

Uh, any more from you, barb right, um, yeah, so um, actually, yeah, considering the worms are now back alive. Yeah, because of the magical power the barn owl had, and also she will not be eating them because that would not make sense. But she recently got in a new shipment of worms and she needs help naming them. Why a shipment of worms? Why?

Speaker 1 41:25

is she naming them? Why is?

Speaker 2 41:26

shipment of worms.

Speaker 1 41:27

Right, why? Why is she shipping him worms? As a vegan, who's shipping him worms? Yeah, I thought when I said that I was like you know, why would I?

Speaker 2 41:34

ship worms that's like the most.

Speaker 1 41:37

Yeah, all right so she's dug out some worms okay, right, she's saving some worms she's saving. She went to a fishing shop and she bought some worms to save them from being fed to fish. How about that?

Speaker 2 41:49

All right, but she needs help naming six of them.

Speaker 1 41:57

Well, thankfully, you've come to the right place.

Speaker 2 42:01

Because comedic six names.

Speaker 1 42:04

Well, actually I don't know if I've told you this, barbara, but I've actually launched this new enterprise in Suriname which is renaming not only humans but worms, and, as a great fan of the PlayStation 1, playstation 2, playstation 3, and probably PlayStation 4, and maybe PlayStation 5 game Worms. I I'm sure that in there in my cranium somewhere would be some names, um for some, for some worms, you would think.

Speaker 1 42:33

But for a large amount of alcohol and or drug abuse. In my life cannot think of a single worm. So name so we're gonna go with squirmy, okay, that's okay. Wormy Original yeah, learning, we go with Furmy. He's a bit the grumpy one he's like. So we've got learning. He's like the learned guy. You could say he's a bookworm. Okay, we have Furmy, he's a bit hang on. Then we have Furmy. He's could say he's a bookworm and we have fermi. He's a bit hang on. Uh, that we have fermi. He's like uh, he's the bit of a tough guy, you know, he's the the tough one.

Speaker 1 43:13

Okay, um then you're susan and then I'm guessing you're thinking how many worms were there? Sorry? Six, only six there was only six, only six worms, uh. So you would think I'd be able to by now come up with uh something what these uh may be called.

Speaker 1 43:28

Uh, we have a loomy uh, he's a glow worm, uh, so he lights up at night. Thank you very much. That's funny. Thank you and um, and then I will name one after. After you, um, uh, dill pickle. This is the last one that I'm gonna name it after, so that was easy all right, well, um, the date went terribly.

Speaker 2 43:50

Uh, I won't keep us here much longer. You have offended her way too many times. Fair enough, we haven't used any of the note cards and um, yeah, on to the next story, james yeah, nice job drop it down low.

Speaker 3 44:08

Three word story no, so dylan.

Speaker 1 44:13

Yes, um, my area in nick name. Uh, I took me and I was only one square away from actual nickname and it gave me three unique words of prototype, okay, ingenious and fear, and I thought that's a. Do you need a? Do you need a definition of any of those?

Speaker 2 44:40

I'm just trying to think which way you would be leaning with those. Well, Dylan, you know.

Speaker 3 44:47

That's why I'm here.

Dating Game: Kevin Meets Barbara

Speaker 1 44:48

That's what I'm going to explain to you. So, naturally, when I had these three words, I thought what else? What else will I possibly do than make a game show? Ha, is it prototype or prototype or not? Is it prototype or not? Is it prototype or prototype or not? Is it prototype or not? Is it? Is it prototype or not? Oh, there's a sphere that you've got. Whether it's a prototype or not, is it prototype or not? Oh, there's a sphere that you've got. Is it a prototype or not? Is it prototype or not? That's the fear that you've gone. Whether it's prototype or not, so welcome to Prototype or Not. So the fear that you have is whether you are going to get these questions right on the game show prototype or not. So, dylan, I'm going to go through a list of prototypes. So these are inventions, ideas, formulations that have been made in real life.

Speaker 2 46:01

Or not. Yeah, nice, I like it Nice job.

Speaker 1 46:05

So thank you, gary, and basically we're going to go down and I'm going to list you out some prototypes and you need to use your cranium to decide whether or not it is a prototype or not, there we go Right, so does that make sense, Dylan? Yeah, it does. Yeah, fucking obviously.

Speaker 2 46:24

Where does the fear jump in?

Speaker 1 46:26

The fear is whether you get it wrong, oh, okay In this game show if

Speaker 2 46:31

you lose. If you get it wrong, you die.

Speaker 1 46:33

Yeah, we bring up the tiger in the escalator. As you can see, with all the scratches, we bring the tiger up and the tiger mauls you. Now you're thinking well, if that is the price you pay for losing, what is the price of winning?

Speaker 4 46:47

well, your life, dylan, so who else?

Speaker 1 46:49

would not want that right, so again it is prototype or not? Yeah right, there we go Dylan. So to begin with we have so this is like a business quiz background music, right? So Dylan, begin with we have. So this is like a quiz background music, right?

Speaker 2 47:07

So Dylan Feeling the tension.

Speaker 1 47:09

We have the prototype Nekon Mimi. No prototype, whatever, it is Just joking. Back in 2011, inventors came up with a new device that combined Japan's technology expertise with its fascination with dressing up like animals. The result was called the Nekomini, which are cat's ears, controlled by the user's brain weight. When the user concentrates, the ears of the device perk up. When the ears drop, the user is in a state of relaxation. Now, dylan, I'm asking you, prototype or not? And now please make it a little bit entertaining and think about a little bit first, and think about it a little bit first don't just go no damn it right.

Speaker 2 48:00

So that's what I normally mean right, let's, let's, let's think about this out loud. Yes, I have heard that, um, they, they do like this is kind of one of those, one of their customs dressing up like animals, and I have seen kind of the the hello kitty thing, and then they've kind of got the uh, I don't know, it's called an alice band, I don't know what. I have seen the ears, but then going so far as to having something connected to your brain.

Speaker 1 48:31

Yeah, yeah. So it says a device uses brainwaves. So did they go all the way to the brainwaves to get?

Speaker 2 48:43

I think they would do something like that. Honestly, I do think the tech is out there, but just to make ears pop up, that seems pretty bizarre. But then, yet again, it is Japanese. So yeah, I'm gonna say yeah.

Speaker 1 48:59

So you're saying Prototype is not Dylan Dylan.

Speaker 4 49:09

Gary, gary, what did you say? Nice job, that's correct, it was indeed not.

Speaker 1 49:16

No, it was no wait. Wait, what did you say? It was a prototype.

Speaker 2 49:19

Like it is out there. Yeah, sorry.

Speaker 1 49:21

It is a prototype yeah, sorry, Sorry. Sorry, gary, you could have been a bit clearer.

Speaker 4 49:25

Say something else, Gary.

Speaker 1 49:26

Fuck you, Gary. Right. Next one Right the bowler hat. Back in 1849, the original bowler hat was designed to accommodate King Edward VII's servants in handling marble bowls. When playing bowls with aristocratic revelers, the servants were expected to hand the bowl over within the hat as to not sully the bowl before play. The hats would then be returned to the head to maintain an immaculate presentation, prototype or not well, there is obviously something like a bowler hat.

Speaker 2 50:02

It is a bowler hat, so, but it's basically just stating that's. That's the reason for that hat. But no, the bowler hat would then by definition, not be a pro, like it would be a prototype because it's already in existence. Right, but was it?

Speaker 1 50:20

was it a prototype? For this reason, right, so okay, okay, okay. So a prototype has to have a specific reason. Sometimes, things are made and then they're made into something else, but there was an original prototype. So is this prototype or not? Fuck, so you think the servants are there with the bowler hat and then they, they kind of the bowler hat the bowler's in there and they hand it over to the, to the king and his what was the sport? Uh playing bowls oh bowls.

Speaker 2 50:49

So you know like, yeah, listen it, it seems like a sticky enough idea. And you said king, who? Uh? King edward the seventh? Oh then I definitely know.

Speaker 1 51:01

Okay, that's proven. Okay. So, dylan, you are saying prototype, prototype. Gary, what are we saying? That is no prototype, dylan. There is indeed such thing as a bowler hat, but the bowler hat was originally invented to place on a gentleman's head whilst he was on a horse to protect his head from branches and or foliage. It was not created to have bowls to hand over to King Edward VII. I made that one up. Good one, james, You're welcome. I was quite happy with that one. I had a little chockle to myself thinking about it.

Speaker 2 51:37

So villain you are and you fell for it so that one all Villain, one all.

Speaker 1 51:45

I can hear the tiger amping up. So the next one, shakitani. We're back in Japan in 2008,. Dylan, a sensory device was developed that would sense and alert public transport users as to if someone had passed a gas passed gas. In early trials of the device, the alerts were so common it became a hindrance to travelers and was discontinued Prototype or not. Why was it discontinued? In early trials of the device, the alerts were so common, it became a hindrance to travelers. So it was going. Basically, people were farting, passing gas, so much it was just In Japan. 2008, in Japan, gas, so much it was just In Japan 2008 in Japan.

Speaker 2 52:27

No, so it's. I don't know, maybe I'm this is going to sound bizarre, but I'm going to- go for it anyway, this is just based on the fact, not the fact, not the fact. But I can't seem to even conjure up the idea of a Japanese person farting, exactly yeah.

Speaker 1 52:54

So do you not think that? So it's a lot about politeness, yes, that kind of culture, right? Yeah, so one may slip out, but you would never know Okay. Of culture, right, yeah, so one may slip out, but you would never know okay. So would you not think that, to maximize politeness in society, they would want everyone to keep their anuses completely tight?

Speaker 2 53:15

so no one yeah, so nobody would get found out. But then yet again, it's. It's uh very much, I guess, an honor system like and if it does slip out, it slips out, but we aren't going to chastise you for it, do you think they wouldn't? No, I don't think they would. I think the embarrassment from the individual itself would probably be enough. So, no, I would say no, no, not in Japan.

Speaker 1 53:40

So you are saying prototype is not Gary. What are we saying? Yeah, I know what that is, gary. What we're saying yeah, I know what that. Yeah, I love that you're looking at the buttons in anticipation. I really don't want that tiger to come in.

Speaker 2 53:55

I don't want I don't want a chance really feeling the pressure so, dylan?

Speaker 1 54:00

um, we are still in japan. Those crazy motherfuckers are inventing everything. This one is a choice. It's a 50-50 choice. Is it a tomato tan or a banana tron? In Japan, a prototype was developed to assist marathon runners in energizing on the go. The robot sat on the runner's back and fed them what? Tomatoes or bananas Runners, yes. So in Japan, a prototype was developed to assist marathon runners in energizing on the go. I've seen this. The robot sits on the back and shoulders and it reaches around into your mouth and feeds you either a tomato or a banana. So was it the Tomatan?

Speaker 2 54:44

or a Bananatron. I'll go with Bananatron just because I reckon, I think and again, I'm not a runner myself. But yeah, you need the. I think sugar is absorbed easier from a banana. They need sugar while running. There's a good source of potassium um irons in there, so yeah, I think you know you're a freaking banana salesman.

Speaker 2 55:15

No, but I think that's what I just can't think, um that they would need a tomato whilst running a marathon, and that's, that's solely what I, solely what I'm basing this on. So we are going for the Bananatron, gary.

Speaker 1 55:32

What are we saying? Fuck, it was a Tomatotron. It was actually designed by a soup company as it was a bit of a publicity thing, and it was a full robot. It was ridiculous. Full robot on their shoulders would pick a tomato from their own robotic backpack and switch it around and put it into the runner's mouth. Did they say why? A tomato, though?

Speaker 2 55:54

it was a soup company. So I think it was just a soup company it was just, I assume, selling tomato soup.

Speaker 1 55:58

I've never had banana soup.

Speaker 2 56:00

Uh, I'm not sure if that's a thing, that's no maybe you can sell that in your new banana shop I, I think they just call it smoothies, so the next one, Dylan.

Prototype or Not: The Game Show

Speaker 1 56:08

Yes, so you're too old. You really are one or the other way from getting annihilated by a tiger. Goodyear tires. In the 1960s, tire company Goodyear had an interesting idea, or did they? Why not produce tires that would light up? The tyres were made from a single piece of synthetic rubber and were lit by bulbs mounted inside the wheel, making the whole tyre glow brightly. The idea was to offer a whole range of colours, but while the tyres looked amazing in the dark, they performed poorly in the wet and the idea was scrapped. But was it prototype or not? Light up tyres in the 1960s? I mean, how cool would that look?

Speaker 2 56:54

right, you are going around with light up tyres, like I can imagine, because correct me if I'm wrong, but the that's when the white wall tyre was, I think, a bit more popular right. I would say so yeah, so I can imagine kind of the ring around and I can imagine it is pretty cool. But Light up tires though. Light up tires, yeah, the thought seems a bit alien, bulbs mounted inside the wheel making the whole tire glow brightly?

Speaker 2 57:31

No, like it just doesn't seem too sticky to me, don't you? Like I mean fucking on bulbs, on that, on that? No, no, just yeah.

Speaker 1 57:46

So we are saying prototype is not. Gary what do you say? Oh no, it was indeed a prototype in the 1960s that they had light up tyres. Oh my goodness, we are one step further from the Tiger coming in Dillill pickle.

Speaker 2 58:07

You are in a pickle, that's what I would say how many questions left?

Speaker 1 58:11

we have two left oh, fuck, so you really need to do yeah otherwise, you know, I'm I've actually paged, I have a pager, I've actually paged them to start bringing the the tiger out one floor by one floor. So it's uh, if this was a visual thing you can imagine, like the floor numbers going up and up and you're thinking how am I gonna survive the tiger's, my friend, just so you know so the next one dylan, let me just uh, let's get back our our tense music.

Speaker 2 58:34

No googling no, no, no, I just want to remove um porn hub.

Speaker 1 58:39

Close that right. Next one, dylan, is the stanakin. In poland 1914, with most married men fighting in the war, igar schwitz developed a life-sized temporary husband. The 117 centimeter tall hessian mannequin would be able to keep the housewife company and hear complaints without retort. The mannequin, dubbed by eagle as the stanakin, courted controversy with its wood turned male genitalia and creepy, gaunt button-eyed face. No surprise that stanakin did not make it into polish households. What do you think about the stanakin?

Speaker 2 59:23

I would like to know where the word mannequin came from. You can't.

Speaker 1 59:29

Google it.

Speaker 2 59:31

It's not how it works. Yeah, because then I'd be like well, what was first? The chicken or the egg, the stanakin or the mannequin, the stanakin or the mannequin?

Speaker 1 59:43

I want this podcast to take off so badly because I want a t-shirt that says mannequin or mannequin. What came first, the mannequin or the mannequin? Um? So, with a lot of married men fighting off in the war 1914, uh, one of the biggest amount of uh deaths, human deaths, within the space of four years ever, did Igor Svits?

Speaker 2 1:00:07

develop In the year 1914. World War I, yeah, it is, but Thanks. No, he would have planned better than that.

Speaker 1 1:00:23

Did he know Franz Ferdinand was going to be shot?

Speaker 2 1:00:26

No, probably not, but I don't know. Tensions were probably arising with Germany beforehand. No, I'm going to call it no. No, I can't see. I can't see the Polish society being like listen, I think they probably reckoned you know what. The woman will kind of hold up the fort whilst we are gone. They don't need Stanekins.

Speaker 1 1:00:51

It does say that it didn't take off. It said that no surprise that the Stanekin did not make it into Polish household.

Speaker 2 1:00:57

But that's also the thing, though you need like one person to have a fucking bizarre idea, igor.

Speaker 1 1:01:03

Shvets.

Speaker 2 1:01:09

To be like like hey guys, here's what I've got. Yeah, and just imagine, yeah, yeah, you know what I would do if I was eagle schmitz, right?

Speaker 1 1:01:13

yeah, I would take the loveliest housewife that there was, right, and I'd go. Hey, helena, uh, I have this new doll for you. It has a wooded male genitalia. It's just a Hessian mannequin. Okay, you do whatever you want with it. Okay, I'm going to go out in another room and this mannequin, stanakin, will be in this room. I will be gone. You will never see me again. But just this Hessian mannequin will be there. You'll never see me again. Okay, and this is just a mannequin. Okay, this is where sex toys came from. I mean, it's 1914, I could imagine. I went to the sex museum splinters. I went to the sex museum in amsterdam and I don't remember seeing a mannequin. To be fair, I bet it would be worth a lot of money if you could find a mannequin, but maybe igor schwitz would put himself into the stanakin.

Speaker 2 1:02:05

Um, pretending that indeed, okay well, no, I, either way, no, I I'm, I have to. And again, obviously I might be wrong, I might just be gobbled up by the tiger. But no, I, I don't see this. So you are saying not, not fuck, oh, you have two now, dylan yeah, two all at the moment yeah, nice job, nice job, dylan you are three, two and you have one more.

Speaker 1 1:02:38

So, alright, if, if you draw, we still release the tiger, but we get it off you before it kills you, so you're going to be mauled.

Speaker 2 1:02:47

But not to death. Yeah, that was two, two, so I'm one ahead. Yes, you're three, two.

Speaker 1 1:02:51

So if you don't get this one right. Yeah, you will still be mauled, but not to death, just some life-changing injuries, you know that's what we like to do here at prototype or not right so that was such a game show.

Speaker 1 1:03:04

I was like so for the final one, dylan. Yes, sir, the moustache shield. The moustache has been a popular form of facial hair for hundreds of years, and during the latter part of the 19th century the handlebar moustache became a common sight around the world. So in 1876, american Virgil Gates took out a patent for a mustache guard to keep it clean and dry whilst eating and drinking Prototype or not?

Speaker 2 1:03:39

Can I ask what it was made of? How much info do you have?

Speaker 1 1:03:42

That is all I have. That is all I have. That's all the producers have given me. That is all I have. That is all I have.

Speaker 2 1:03:47

That's all the producers have given me. That is all I have. Right Gates, virgil Gates.

Speaker 1 1:03:51

Virgil Gates Could have been in the long lineage of Bill Gates. Maybe, maybe it's a long line of inventors. It went mustache guards. That's where they got the original amount of money.

Speaker 2 1:04:09

And then Bill Gates took that money and did computers with it. You know, yeah, um, practical, but yeah, again, it stumps me every time thinking that, hey, listen, the, the, and fair enough, that's how people, this is how, uh, technology evolves, right, is somebody willing to put something stupid out there? However, this, yeah, I'm, yeah, I don't see it. I don't see it, I really don't Having something for what not wet, so it doesn't get wet.

Speaker 1 1:04:38

So it keeps it clean and dry.

Speaker 2 1:04:40

Clean, handlebar clean and dry. Clean and dry yeah.

Speaker 1 1:04:44

So, dylan, the tiger is nearly at the lift. The final answer is prototype, is not? No? Gary, for the final time this evening, do we have a good job or do we have anime style shock noise? Dylan, that is a draw. So, whilst you are being mauled and mangled by the tiger, we are going to play out with a little bit of. It is prototype or not? It was prototype or not. He didn't get it.

Speaker 2 1:05:21

It wasn't prototype.

Speaker 1 1:05:24

And Dylan's getting mangled and chewed up by a tiger because he didn't know it was a prototype. It was a prototype or not. Was it prototype or not? The fear that he got, oh yeah, was it prototype or not? The fear that he got, whether it was a prototype or not, yeah, so Dylan, well, half of you now, because obviously the lower half has been mangled by by the tiger. I don't know why I've been calling you Dylan, because obviously your name is still pickle.

Speaker 2 1:06:10

As we know, all winks I, I couldn't, I couldn't hold eye contact while you call me dill pickle.

Speaker 1 1:06:12

So dill pickle for next week. Yeah, where are we gonna look? I have literally given not a second of thoughts to where we may then put. So we had a business set up in South America. I liked that. I liked that a lot. So why do we not have some a business that we set up in Asia? Oh okay, we'll stay on the business theme. Maybe we'll do this for another episode or two, until we actually engage our imagination, that's fair and we'll see where this will take us on next episode of Three.

Speaker 1 1:06:44

And we'll see where this will take us on next episode of Three. Word Story. Nice job Nice job.

Speaker 3 1:06:53

Drop it down low with Three Word Story.

Speaker 1 1:07:01

Thank you for listening to this week's Three Word Story. If you would like to get in touch with James and Dylan, then please email us at the3wordstory at gmailcom. Send your reviews negative or positive, or even your three words, and we'll read them out on air. See you next week.