11. Bison Licking & Dracula Nipples

Welcome to "Three Word Story," where each episode spins a tale from the unexpected. Join hosts James Royle and Dylan Jacobs as they unravel narratives sparked by three random words from the innovative app what3words. From "Anger.BLeak.Thunder" to "Noisy.Deaf.Device" every episode promises whimsy, mystery, and creativity in just three words. Tune in for improvised adventures that blend imagination with spontaneity, proving that a world of stories can unfold from the most unlikely places. Ready to embark on a journey of words? Let's weave some magic together

Thank's for listening, Tune in next week for another episode!

Thank's for listening, Tune in next week for another episode!

Follow us on:

• Insta: @three.wordstory
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• X: @_threewordstory

Thank's for listening, Tune in next week for another episode!

Follow us on:

• Insta: @three.wordstory
• TikTok: @Threewordstory
• X: @_threewordstory

Chapters

• 17:00 1st Story
• 45:00 2nd Story

Transcript

0:00:00:00 - 00:00:23:10
Unknown
Welcome to three word story. I'm James. I'm Dylan, and this is the podcast where we take three words from the app. What three words and improve the shit out of the story. Today on three word story. 18th time lucky Dylan. What with his and his duck fucking doing. They were riding my.

00:00:23:12 - 00:00:42:05
Unknown
Plane. What I am looking for. And we will get to the bottom. The reading. Sorry, I just leaned on my good and just. It was a silly place to sit.

00:00:42:07 - 00:01:10:24
Unknown
Dylan. Oh, you scared me. You scared me to. For this three word story. Halloween special. Dildo Baggins, how were you today for this Halloween special? How are you, James? How are you doing? I think that's the first time I've said your name on this podcast. Yes, we to address with some much judges. I usually greet you. So, lovely to see you this this Halloween, boxing day.

00:01:10:24 - 00:01:33:05
Unknown
It's the day after Halloween, so we fucked up a little bit here. Yeah, yeah. Hey, houses. That would be extra scary for the people. Surprise us some more where that came from lately. So we've got some. We got we've got four jingles to choose from because that is all this, doc, I think I yeah, we can, we can, we can say it's a doc.

00:01:33:05 - 00:01:54:09
Unknown
Yes, I have no, it's a music box. It's a noise box. It's a box. It does. But we put our noises into the box. I need you take the noises, you dickhead. Zoom! You'll take of the noises now. So thank you, zoom box, for taking the noises. So today, as you may have guessed, listener, it is the Halloween special.

00:01:54:11 - 00:02:15:20
Unknown
So the three words that we have chosen today are based around, say, a scary place, a scary story. We've not really conversed, so we could have actually chosen the same and probably should have published this first. Yeah. So he houses. So we're going to do scary leaning places. Now, I've not chose my place based on my own scary circumstances.

00:02:15:20 - 00:02:49:08
Unknown
I've chosen a very famous story based in Romania, so I have gone all the way to a Dracula's house in Bram Castle, which, by the way, terrible name for a vampire's castle. Well, brand Bram brand like brand. Oh, no. That's. Yeah, that is terrible. Mediocre flakes. Right. The just you have them in the morning. We like it. So he's saying we're in a friend's house and you can tell that their parents, the kind of fitness conscious and you're thinking, you know, is this a friend's house where it's, you know, Frosties or something sugary?

00:02:49:08 - 00:03:01:15
Unknown
Yeah. Fruit loops. And then when they pull out the box of brown bran, it's been like, yeah, I'm going to shit tonight. Yeah. I said, good man. Good, solid. But I'm not happy about it. You know, I want some sugar. And you look at your friend and the friends look at you being like, I know, man. Yeah. So.

00:03:01:15 - 00:03:22:24
Unknown
So yeah, I'm trying to. I'm trying to get out of here. But my parents suck. So it's Bran Castle and Transylvanian, for Count Dracula. Now, Dylan, I don't want to go into too much detail because. Why? Because you don't have it. Yeah, sorry, but make it.

00:03:23:01 - 00:03:49:20
Unknown
So. Yeah, maybe, But. Oh, I will save my three words and Count Dracula story till later. We we will see. So the three words that it has given me, is actually fantastic for scary Halloween special. Oh, fantastic. They could not be better words. And that is anger, bleak and thunder. And this is you search Bran Castle, Transylvania.

00:03:49:20 - 00:04:08:23
Unknown
That is the square. I have not gone walkabouts around the castle yet to try to be. Yeah. That is these square on these actually. Amazing. Yeah. What what is why can't I get that right on what? Three words. Wonderful. I love to sponsor us. And you didn't pick it up? You. This would not because I stick it like just now on the app.

00:04:09:00 - 00:04:30:10
Unknown
Like just just kind of knowing what my words are and kind of looking at it, I couldn't I had to Google and I went to the wrong side. I was like, what, three words? Those three words? And I'm like, what we will. What was say, are you on? Because I don't want to see any, any adult films that are angry, bleak or thundery.

00:04:30:12 - 00:04:54:05
Unknown
No thank you. So yeah, as long as you don't go to those kind of wrong websites, that's the main thing. So I guess instead of, a little whimsical story about, Dracula, I would love to ask Dylan, what do you like about Halloween and why? Well, I probably, and I enjoy Halloween itself. I enjoy the kind of the dressing up of it.

00:04:54:09 - 00:05:03:23
Unknown
I know that you get that dressing for you walked into this one again?

00:05:04:00 - 00:05:29:10
Unknown
No. So, full disclosure, everyone we we did the most unorganized intro. I mean, our standards are high. Let's, let's let's put it that, like everyone knows who's listening. Our standards are not high. But even we looked at each other and thought, this is bad. And I managed to get you with that with the exact same point. And you just I just need to dress up in the ad, just walk straight into that one.

00:05:29:10 - 00:05:48:19
Unknown
So it's good to know that this is that it really is a problem of me just dressing, dressing, dressing, whatever the way you want to dress, which we're clear on three what story is perfectly okay all the time? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. I would love to think that there's a, there's a, there's a couple, it doesn't matter.

00:05:48:19 - 00:06:13:14
Unknown
But we go on and we don't care, as I just said, in a car right now. And the moment we said that, we've just rerecorded this, they've kind of looked at each other frowning like, well, how fucking bad was it before? If this is the rerecord. Terrible. So yeah. Dylan, what's your favorite thing about Halloween? And, it was a Halloween does.

00:06:13:14 - 00:06:38:01
Unknown
Yeah. Like, hey, I should do another first. I was actually good. But no. Yeah, it's it's a different characters. Yes. There is the partying side of it involved because, as I explained to you earlier, back in South Africa, we don't actually do the Halloween thing. It's kind of only kind of become a thing the last four, five, five years, maybe six years, I'm not sure.

00:06:38:03 - 00:06:57:00
Unknown
But yeah, when I turned 18, yeah, the post World Cup is become a thing. There's two definitive, parts of history in South Africa. Oh, yes. And we won't we won't mention the other one. But the other one is the World Cup. So post World Cup. Okay. Post 2019 World Cup. So why in South Africa are you not celebrating Halloween?

00:06:57:00 - 00:07:19:17
Unknown
Is it because it's scary all of the time? Actually, I don't think it's it's the scariness that that bothers us because it's it's a lot more opportunity for people to steal this trick or treat them like, no, no, no, no, no, you can't have that. Oh, oh, okay. I will treat myself to your dog. Thank you very much.

00:07:20:11 - 00:07:41:23
Unknown
Because I've had the in South Africa, they're constantly just opening people's car doors and just going to escape. It's scary people all the time. So maybe every day is Halloween. But. But why not? Why has it not gone to S.A.? No, because definitely the the old gone still believe it's it's kind of based on the, the kind of the satanic side of things.

00:07:42:00 - 00:08:00:18
Unknown
Where and where did they get. They get that? I have no idea. I nearly said where the. Well, you know, I convinced my grandmother. I let her watch Coco, the Disney film. And she was like, that's all right. You know what? I can go with this. It's just indoctrinating everyone in South Africa by showing the film. Coco.

00:08:00:20 - 00:08:19:17
Unknown
Yeah, yeah, but oh no no no, no, honestly, we, I saw this list. The an article and it it was the list of the most God fearing countries, specifically Christians. I wonder how how do you think they judge that? Did they just go around a pit with a picture of God, showing it to people and gauging how shocked they were?

00:08:19:17 - 00:08:37:17
Unknown
Man, do this sound just, right? Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on. I'm going to turn this picture of God towards you. I don't want to see evil. Surprise. Ready? He was very surprising. He was very high up on the list of God fearing people. So if you want to really. South Africa. Yes, I know, between that in Brazil.

00:08:37:17 - 00:08:52:11
Unknown
Yeah, it kind of didn't sit well with a lot of the, the, the parents and the old, God, I guess I guess right now they just want to take their kids off. Trick or treat. Know that. That's all. Just cheapskates. Yeah, yeah. They want to trade dress up for that whole day, basically. So. So no real memories.

00:08:52:11 - 00:09:11:13
Unknown
Just a couple of parties. Eddie, come over, dress up. I just, I for some reason, I always do go for the Joker. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Because that would have gone really well to the previous intro that we just did where you did a joke. Laugh. So, let's not even pretend like we're not really shit.

00:09:11:13 - 00:09:36:10
Unknown
And this is the second time we're doing this, and let's reference that part. So that laugh was this. Now I'm going to cut that bit in. Thank goodness. Yes. Because if I had to do it, it's exactly like it's too much pressure. Just it's not even the Joker. So yeah. No I'm going to splice that in.

00:09:36:12 - 00:09:53:24
Unknown
Because it was well, call me South Africa. Brazil because I was God fearing at that point. You know, I went to shit like that. That was that happened. And I was like, okay, I'm wedged in between a wardrobe and a bed. There was no clear exit, and I'm scared. I thought that maybe this was the time that something snapped within you.

00:09:54:03 - 00:10:15:05
Unknown
I've always wondered with all the references you constantly make. But then the Joker came out. It was scary. So as people know. So maybe for next time on this, four square board of of noises, I can have that laughter to terrify everyone at home. So. So the Joker is what you would go for? Yeah, yeah. And actually, that is, that's kind of where my words have taken me.

00:10:15:05 - 00:10:44:13
Unknown
Oh, at least that's the location for my words. I figured, okay, we take where the characters from mine, which is the Joker. And that led me. So I know Gotham City, which is then a combination of Chicago, New York, London, I don't know, some some of the. Yeah. So maybe even had a. There's an I'm just reading off of what the internet said of what Gotham City was made of.

00:10:44:13 - 00:11:05:02
Unknown
But anyway, I made up that that was factual and that. Yeah. No, no, no. So, I don't get the London thing. But anyway, I then decided to go for New York and, yeah, typed in New York City. And I normally stick to my three block rule. And within those three blocks, I got to. Gotham. I am the worst.

00:11:05:04 - 00:11:28:03
Unknown
Okay. And you just you keeping them under wraps. I like that, it's just like. And I go to my woods and and fuck you and all the listeners who are on tenterhooks thinking, I wonder what these three words could be. I actually just pulled the no reverse and what is now going to happen is I'm just going to tell a random fucking story, and you try and pinpoint what the words were.

00:11:28:05 - 00:11:54:10
Unknown
All right. Oh no, no, I'm not, I'm not. I know you try to be a dick, but that's a great idea. All right. So know the so the words, deeper bad English baby. No no no, nothing. Deeper. The origin in jaws. Okay. And, and, and and then and then and we couldn't find the music.

00:11:54:10 - 00:12:17:20
Unknown
Yeah. We would have had to pay for that one. So we didn't have one. Okay. So, deeper origin. Yes. Know laugh laughing about this. Okay. All right. Okay. Well so Halloween for me. Well as it kids dressed up as Batman a couple of times. So I is clear that we're just natural adversaries. Enemies. We're natural enemies.

00:12:18:00 - 00:12:36:10
Unknown
So, yeah. So you dressed up as Joker like a creep, and I dressed up as Batman like a hero. So basically, you. You are the one dressing up like a creep, in all honesty. Well, Batman, Batman dresses like a creep. What are you telling me? Armor that has abs on it is creepy that a man who would design body armor with nipples is weird.

00:12:36:12 - 00:12:56:01
Unknown
Screw you Dylan, because I just wear a purple suit so I might not be stylish, but at least I'm wearing normal people clothes. Well, that's fine, but I want nipples to be shown the way. I want people to know the fact that you need armor. I don't even need armor. I'm just out there. But anyway, yeah, that needs.

00:12:56:01 - 00:13:15:23
Unknown
And. Yeah. So what would have been your natural anniversary? And what else? What else? Such as that was one Halloween where, I went out with my friend Matt, and we had. We didn't have anything sorted. We're going go out for Halloween and with his girlfriend now, wife, blah, blah, blah. And we the only just ended up with blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

00:13:16:04 - 00:13:39:21
Unknown
And then we went to this place and then we didn't have anywhere to which we now need to dress up as spooky. So the shop that we worked at in the high street, called mountain House, they had these two outfits that we used to use to hand out leaflets. Totally embarrassing being in the middle of the high street, dressed up as either I reindeer for the seasonal times, or as sheep for the non-seasonal times.

00:13:39:24 - 00:14:09:12
Unknown
So we're talking full outfit. So neck to to to toes and a big old plushy head for both of them. So we went out merrily dressed up as a reindeer. And actually I think I've got a picture of it somewhere. But I remember distinctly, I don't know, I didn't I clearly, I don't remember distinctly, but I remember I'm pretty sure it was me who was lifted up in the air, like, Dirty Dancing style and just front flipping over the top of that.

00:14:09:12 - 00:14:27:12
Unknown
So basically, a reindeer had launched a sheep up into the air. So a sheep just a front right? Spectacle. Yeah, just a smash on the floor. So it was just like I assumed drunk bongos were just thinking, oh my God, who let these dangerous, dangerous animals in here? And who knew that reindeer and sheep would be so aggressive with each other?

00:14:27:12 - 00:14:42:18
Unknown
Yeah. And I think they were very beer stained. They were very sweat stained. And they just got returned to the, to the back to the place again. And, they probably haven't been cleaned since. No no no no no no no no no, they're probably still there. You know, probably some, some juices of all kinds.

00:14:42:18 - 00:15:00:16
Unknown
Who knows that come about that evening ended. But hey, that was Halloween. And it's got to be spooky. So anything else dressed up as a vampire? You know, the standard teeth, blood, long holidays, you know, but you couldn't keep that blanket, and that's pretty shitty thing.

00:15:00:18 - 00:15:25:15
Unknown
That's what we call curtains back home. The window painted that night, I believed you, I believed you, you know, we put blankets up to keep going that day. So scary. All right. So, okay, so we have our three words. We have limited to what how we got this limited I mean next Halloween let's hit it hard. Let's get some stories for some Halloween because okay.

00:15:25:20 - 00:15:44:09
Unknown
Well we go out now and just dress up and then get arrested maybe. Who knows. So this time, Dylan, to decide who does today's three woods story. First story we're going to have quick gang of 21. I have cards in my hand. They all shuffled. I've been shuffling the whole time. It's staring deep into your eyes so romantically.

00:15:44:14 - 00:16:09:16
Unknown
So we can play 21. All right, but I'll flip this card like this. Yeah, and I'll do you. Stick or twist? Yeah. So, hit me. Do you stick to I stick stick. Right. So you are on a ten. You want a nine. So I want an eight. I don't know, I a twist. Quick maths 13. It's going to it's going to be a problem.

00:16:09:19 - 00:16:33:20
Unknown
Yeah, yeah. Damn bust. Dylan, I don't think I've ever won one of these out of all. Well, yeah, I've never won one. How how it's implausible. And I hate it. And it's annoying because I'm always the one doing the game, so I can't even claim maximum match fixing. All right, so sick of it. Right. So it does. I mean, I choose or doesn't mean I tell the story first.

00:16:33:21 - 00:16:51:15
Unknown
You choose whoever does the story. Oh, that's so you have the power. You got the power. No, I think, we'll get we'll get the first one out the way first. So. James, please. Yeah, I'll take a no. Did not just I got mad. You got to go. So I'm going to go. Okay. Why did you just assume I was going to go?

00:16:51:15 - 00:17:07:08
Unknown
I didn't even say it. Yeah, too late, too late, too late. So, Right. So usually it's going to be a drop it down low. Three. What story say I want you to do a Halloween version of that now to go into your, to your jingle so you know you're dropping down low. Oh it's a drop okay. Now you want I want a spooky.

00:17:07:08 - 00:17:15:04
Unknown
Well give me a spooky one for your first story. Drop it. I don't know.

00:17:15:06 - 00:17:38:23
Unknown
Just drop it down low. Okay? That was terrifying. I'm scared. Should I just oh, three with story. Yeah. So that's okay. Well, now. Now it's kind of not going to work. I can't write three word story to it right now. We'll edit the the creepiness of two and three of it. Right. So Dylan, hit me with your scary story.

00:17:39:00 - 00:17:45:13
Unknown
Drop it down low. Three stories.

00:17:45:15 - 00:17:56:20
Unknown
I'm going to be completely honest, okay? Right. Yeah, I think I missed the brief.

00:17:56:22 - 00:18:22:06
Unknown
So let me continue. So, by the way, again, it led me to my usual three words, and I did not figure we were going to make it Halloween based within those three. Why would we? Yeah. Well, why we do that movie for however, I don't worry. I think they still they still hope. They still hope. They hope and scope the holidays.

00:18:22:06 - 00:18:51:02
Unknown
Yeah. So I hope I'll see if I can, I watch any for you. Just if I can check going on then. All right. So. It starts. So let's, let's start from the beginning. As my father always says. That's a good that's a good place to start. I think a duck named Fifi. You couldn't you couldn't have made it any less okay.

00:18:51:04 - 00:19:23:16
Unknown
And I to hold on. And it's coupled with a man. A man who who has shoulders and a nose and eyes. Terrifying. If he looks like you. Terrified. I don't like that you have control of the buttons. You just let me know. Play the game. Okay? Can't think that fast. Anyway, so and so at that, called Fifi and a man called Quint.

00:19:23:18 - 00:19:51:13
Unknown
Yes, now I this is not where it's going, Ryan. It is basically just a loving friendship between man, a man, a man and duck. And please, no no no no no, no wisecracks. That was funny. Yeah, I added in there. Okay. But that went down well. So basically Quint went through a fair bit of hardships.

00:19:51:15 - 00:20:19:11
Unknown
Hardships? Not actual hardships. I mean, like, I mean, yeah, it's hard to go through hardships, hardship, hardships. No. So he actually lost his wife, and, Yeah, he couldn't find a job. So, like any normal man, he pretended to look for her for about 15 minutes and then just, you know, playing PlayStation. Yeah, yeah. Okay. So. Right.

00:20:19:11 - 00:20:56:24
Unknown
So she was never found. Nobody knows what happened. I probably can make that a bit bit more scary. She was never found. Boom. I was good. I had to scan to fast enough. Right. So, after some time, being lonely and lonely and trying to make it scared, depressed, depressed. Boom. Content after being lonely and depressed. On this one particular morning, little duckling stumbles into his swimming pool.

00:20:57:01 - 00:21:32:13
Unknown
So in a small vacation town where people don't seem to stick around, this little duckling did, oh. Right. It's doing eventually doing everything together, swimming together, playing fetch. Fetch. Who's fetching? Yeah. That definitely is, for now, the duck and, that they did some by slipping, by slipping. By slipping. So they did everything together.

00:21:32:15 - 00:22:03:06
Unknown
But they were licking. Yeah, that's actually a thing that we do back. Yeah. Lick bisons further. They were bison licking, and then they were also by licking. He didn't even do that I didn't even yeah, I know it's hot in here. I see, but fuck, it's a bison. Yeah. So bison licking bison. So these this must say that word once more just for me to get it.

00:22:03:08 - 00:22:10:09
Unknown
But I don't know, but.

00:22:10:11 - 00:22:19:06
Unknown
Basically, that doesn't like bicycling bison. I.

00:22:19:08 - 00:22:48:21
Unknown
Have. Oh, fuck. Bison. You know, that's so like this is so that's the that's the light song going to help didn't so full disclosure. Oh. Lovely. Lovely listeners. It is this is 30 degrees outside. The aircon has broken and we are getting to this room and the sweat is now started to poured. So 18th time lucky.

00:22:48:21 - 00:22:58:04
Unknown
Dylan. What would this, this duck fucking doing it were riding bikes. Hahahahaha!

00:22:58:06 - 00:23:30:15
Unknown
Right though. I'm not. No, no, I'm not going to. Okay, you caught me with that. With the dresses. There's nothing I'm going to work no less with. With that, the fact that they rode bikes together and their favorite thing to do together was fishing. Fishing. Right? Right. Fishing. But just fishing and English and I energy. So yeah, on a particularly beautiful day, they decided, all right, let's, let's go cause some lines and do a bit of fishing.

00:23:31:09 - 00:23:56:16
Unknown
Now Fifi. Curious as she is, looks into the water, kind of sees something and kind of a figure or at least an animal. She's not sure what it is. Anyway, she goes, jumps in to investigate because she's a duck. Yeah. That's what they do. That's one all the detectives of the pond as we know. Yeah. That's why their heads always go under.

00:23:56:16 - 00:24:22:16
Unknown
Yeah, they call them duck. Duck. Shit. There we go. That's, Yeah. Okay. Right. So that ticked off. Went to invest to get nice. Did you get that one? No. No, because there wasn't one. No. Yeah. So anyway, so, Fifi, pretty curious. Investigates, jumps in and,

00:24:22:18 - 00:24:52:10
Unknown
She. That's my attempt at either water splashing or a duck, quacking. Quack quack quack. But anyway, it was a much better. Yeah. Okay. It's better. We'll edit all this anyway. But needless to say, just the sight of jaws. Coming out of the water. Oh, there's jaws. Is gone. Oh, shit. Laugh a bite out of a bite. It is just gone.

00:24:52:10 - 00:25:14:07
Unknown
Just gone. You just killed a fish grabbed by a shark. Just numbed, know. Smashed, smashed. What the fuck's a shark doing in a pond? Dylan? It's not a pond. He said it was a pond. You never said a pond. Where are they? Fishing. Wet set the scene. See the scene? I don't want to set the scene, man. See what he could be in the sea.

00:25:14:09 - 00:25:37:12
Unknown
Because they've just been bison looking. They've got a taste for salt. That's why they go to the sea. So jaws is just snapped up. Little George has just snapped up. Oh, little fish feels sad. I feel very sad now. So now again, the rabbit hole of depression is in front of Quint. Oh.

00:25:37:14 - 00:26:07:19
Unknown
So sad. So he then turns that sadness into kind of rage. And don't get me wrong, I'm not sure what the, the five stages of grief are and in what order they come. However, this man turned his hatred towards sharks. He's now.

00:26:07:21 - 00:26:57:04
Unknown
Even a self-appointed shark hunter. Shark? Shark hunter. Okay. Right. So for the next two years, every day he goes out and he just hunts sharks, right? He kill as many sharks as he possibly could in the name of Fifi. And also in search of vengeance for this mammoth shark that took his life so two years passed and he got the phone call from Detective Martin Brody.

00:26:57:06 - 00:27:11:10
Unknown
Hello? Hi. Sorry. There sure is. This is this is this Quint? The, the the shark hunter? Yeah.

00:27:11:12 - 00:27:35:06
Unknown
Yeah. That's right. Why did I give it to you? Let me let me just pick it back up again. Just what do you want to be? I'll be. I'll be both. Like what? What do you pointed to me? I, I did not that died. That's a fair point. That was an idiot. Move. Okay. All right. I said.

00:27:35:08 - 00:27:49:06
Unknown
Hello? Who are you to pick up the phone? What the fuck? Yeah, okay. No, no. Oh, you need to be the bottom. You need to look.

00:27:49:08 - 00:28:20:08
Unknown
Oh, you got press. Oh, hello. Hello. Hello. Sorry. There sure is. Is this Quint, the, the shark hunter? Yeah, it is. It work. Well, well, sir, we actually got a big problem. And, this is from the, the, the something police department that, is just based off of Lakeshore Drive. The something police department?

00:28:20:08 - 00:28:44:13
Unknown
Yeah. The something the police department, because I can't think of, something that would geographically fit whatever the fuck my story was prior to this. Because you confuse between a pond and a snake. Could you just relax anyway? Yeah. Well, these phones coming from anyway. Let me let me let me just stop there anyway. So the same day.

00:28:44:15 - 00:29:28:12
Unknown
Yeah. I'm bullshitting. Do you even forgot where my story was? But Fifi was dead. Oh, sorry. Right. So he phoned up and. Right. So two years pass, gets gets the phone call. It's Detective Martin Brody and. There has been a plethora of shark attacks on the beach, right? Even so much so, because I haven't seen so many shark attacks or a shark just actively looking for human blood.

00:29:30:00 - 00:29:54:03
Unknown
Well, there was nothing there. Oh, yeah. Okay. Sorry. I should have got by the. Now are we looking at it. Yeah I just, I was just so engrossed. So sorry I was so anyway so yeah. And even so much so that they even got the help of marine biologist Matt Hooper to try and track down this mammoth shark that had now killed the beach goers.

00:29:54:07 - 00:30:31:22
Unknown
And you know what? Quint had a hunch. 50s killer. Now, I might have to remind you what the three words were. They? I think you might. Deeper, origin, of the plot. Jaws. So that's how I connected them together. So it's deeper, right? So it's a deeper meaning. It's the okay. Right of the plot. Jaws. Jaws. You see, you're trying to.

00:30:32:03 - 00:31:08:22
Unknown
So I am telling you, yes, that Steven Spielberg, his cousin, is named Quint, and it was his duck, Fifi, that got mangled by this mammoth shark jaws. And the vengeance that followed, boom. Wow. I mean, I'm not even going to check any of that because I. I am certain that that is true. And now, as I think about when I watch that film, probably when I was ten years old, I'm sure this references to ducks all over the place.

00:31:08:22 - 00:31:25:10
Unknown
I'm sure it's pretty much bang on. I even even Matt Hooper is involved. I mean, the detectives don't know who that is. It? Yeah. I mean, seriously, this is this this is real. I mean, I'm not gonna question it. I believe this is real. There is no way that you would put the death of a duck in a story for fun and entertainment.

00:31:25:11 - 00:31:44:19
Unknown
There. No way. I don't believe that he would do that. You know, like, especially when you guys create such beautiful pictures. Like a man and a duck. Bison looking or mice looking. There's no way. There's no way that you could make it up. They just went biking, read a fucking Bible. So that was that was that was beautiful.

00:31:44:19 - 00:32:09:23
Unknown
And that was a great origin story that I really I really enjoyed that. So my three words, as you remember were anger, anger, bleak and drop down love, three word story.

00:32:10:00 - 00:32:28:06
Unknown
So what I decided to do today was it's very. Yeah. So I'm going to for this. Dylan, I need you to go out on a limb here, and I'm saying I need you. I need you to be part of my story. I need you to be part of this. Right? We're gonna. We're gonna improv this shit out of this story.

00:32:28:08 - 00:32:57:02
Unknown
We. Okay? Did you not just. Yeah. My improv skills with myself. Yeah, yeah, that was it. Was that from somewhere to somewhere? Like Lakeshore Drive? Anywhere? You just. You probably pick the one. I'll probably say Paddington. Yeah, I'm calling from Paddington Station. It is a bit of duck attack. Yeah. So. So for this, Dylan, I need you to be a wily journalist.

00:32:57:04 - 00:33:12:24
Unknown
Wily? What's that? What? It says a nightmare. I can, I can a coyote. No, no, no. You know, I wanted to see enemy of Bugs Bunny, not Bugs Bunny. Roadrunner. I just wanted to say I could be a journalist called wily, but there we go. You can be Wily Coyote journalists. That's what I want you to be.

00:33:12:24 - 00:33:34:10
Unknown
So, you know, you're trying to find out facts. You know, you're you've you've done a profile. On this character. And you aren't going to get some fact you're going to press him. You're going to make him feel uncomfortable. Okay. So I have taken the character of my location Count Dracula. And I want you the count. The count right.

00:33:34:12 - 00:33:54:18
Unknown
You want to count. Yes. And the count on the count. So I'm the count right. So this is going to be my castle, Dylan. Okay, you're going to visit my castle, right? Right. And you are going to come in, and you are the first journalist in hundreds of years to be invited to speak to Count Dracula. So it's a big privilege for you.

00:33:54:20 - 00:34:17:18
Unknown
You were chosen because of your expertise in the subject of the stories of Count Dracula, which you may or may not be true. We will find out. We'll have to see what Count Dracula has to say for himself. So do you get to get where we're coming from? That's fair. Yeah. So this will be. Oh, God. Jupiter, I love three.

00:34:17:20 - 00:34:47:17
Unknown
What story? Welcome to my palace slash castle, my friend. Journalist. How are you today? I'm doing pretty well. Thank you sir. Thank thank you, Mr. Count for for asking. You are very welcome, my friend. Please come in through from my lovely drawbridge.

00:34:47:19 - 00:35:14:01
Unknown
And, every permits approved on this. Oh, yes. If deployment is gudes, it's a bit. It's a pain in the ass to bring the drawbridge down every time. Especially when it's just for the numbers. Unpassable. Fair enough. So, the reason why I wanted you here today. Mr. Doyle, though I believe your name is, I wanted to set the record straight about Count Dracula.

00:35:15:11 - 00:35:56:21
Unknown
And I hear that you are the man who has the story of Count Dracula. And, I want two people to know today who is Count Dracula? Well, Mr. Count, as you go by many aliases. Vlad. Vlad. Vlad the Impaler. Dracula. Well, Mr. Devil saw the Vlad the Impaler. The good thing is that that came about of a slightly different mispronunciation of what I actually, I was actually slightly paler, so I was actually Vlad the Impaler, but it got misconstrued it.

00:35:56:21 - 00:36:10:00
Unknown
As you can see, I do not go out in the sun very often, so my complexion is very pale. You know what I.

00:36:10:02 - 00:36:38:05
Unknown
It seems like you are overselling me. There's something here. And listen. Author record. I will find what I am looking for and we will get to the bottom of who you really are. Sorry. I just leaned on my all good. And just that, It was a silly place to sit. Anyway, sorry about that. I just slipped that I was I was just really, interested in what you meant by that.

00:36:38:07 - 00:37:02:02
Unknown
All right? No, no, no. So basically, the story behind everything, and again comes it comes down to Vlad the Impaler. People have known you've touched the pig, Vlad the plate. You definitely. You definitely fit the description. Right? Well, I don't give away much. Yeah. However, my skin complexion goes fairly well in Japan. Sorry to the one person listening in the van.

00:37:02:04 - 00:37:34:23
Unknown
Know they they like to be pale. It's it's not a bad thing at all. Right. So back to the story and, you it's it's undeniable, right, that people have had accounts of you account Dracula, of you murdering people. Right. Impaling them right in your what, I would assume to be one of those large wooden sticks, kind of kind of growing out the it's literally sharpened treetops.

00:37:35:00 - 00:37:58:03
Unknown
How can you not seem like you impaled people? So the thing is, with those, Dylan, when you have a big, sticky, pointy teeth like I. I'm done. This is part of the pay of family. You have to have a big toothpick to get to all of the lovely Romanian goods that I eat on a regular basis. So as you can see, they're very sharp at the end of the,

00:37:58:05 - 00:38:23:08
Unknown
Why so large? The. Because Dylan Dildo Journal is still there. As you can see, this is an old castle. We have not modernized as of yet because I have not been able to take my goods and my business out to the real world. I'm persecuted. So at the night when I'm eating my delicious Romanian goods, I have to look around that to feel around just by candlelight.

00:38:23:10 - 00:38:45:15
Unknown
Imagine if I had a toothpick the size of a toothpick that you would usually use. It would be impossible. I'm not, I didn't, so these dildo. Look at these things I can feel around right now. If I blew this candle out. Mystical blood. I appreciate. If we could keep it civil, I would correct you, Dylan. Dylan's than that.

00:38:45:15 - 00:39:13:21
Unknown
I'm sorry, I've never heard. I have listened to a full of podcasts. And I heard your name. Yeah. They did. You heard that coming from from just from. I've heard them all from my friend James, who actually is quite endearing. However, those are bullshit names. Dylan. What is Dylan is the bullshit. No, no, not.

00:39:13:23 - 00:40:00:13
Unknown
Oh, I'm so okay. So you okay? Understood. So, no accounts of murder being vicious. You have incredible large toothpicks thing because. Yeah. All as as per, you know. I have spoken to some staff members and some pretty interesting stuff has arrived. Please. I'm comfortable. So you are no longer married, correct? No. Unfortunately, I have 400 years old, so my, my lady beautiful wife passed away only a few years ago.

00:40:00:15 - 00:40:32:20
Unknown
Now the story is you. Me? Kill the straightforward question. Did you kill her? That was a boring question. I did it still. Do I look like a killer to you when I am sat here? So pale. Such clean teeth. Do I look like a lady killer to you? Now I tell you. I tell you this. Did I drink goblet?

00:40:32:22 - 00:41:07:09
Unknown
Well, yes. I am a vampire. Did I drink all of her blood? Well, yes, I am of a vampire. But did I kill her? No, I just drank blood. Because I am Dylan. I am a vampire who's a okay, okay. I think that's where I might have gone wrong. My. I did not know you were a vampire. I am here.

00:41:07:11 - 00:41:38:19
Unknown
Investigating. Speaking to Count Dracula. However. From where I sit, I never knew you were a vampire. So hold on. Let's put. Let's put this behind us. So? So tell me, Dracula, what do you do to kick back in your spare time? That is a very leftfield question that I did not see it coming. So what? What does a Count Dracula like to do in his same spare time?

00:41:38:19 - 00:42:01:23
Unknown
So, I tell you what, Dylan. What? I like glass of glass of wine. No. What I like to do, Dylan, is I like to play the baseball. The thing is, Dylan, it's another misconstrued the legend that I turn into a bat when actually, you could find that I love to swing the bat, that I play the baseball.

00:42:02:00 - 00:42:33:23
Unknown
And I hit a home run. And I am a bat man. I am a batsman. And people spread the rumors from person to person. And they say he is a batsman. He is a bat man. He is a man who turns into a bat, but he is a bat. And that's one of the biggest misconceptions of me, of Come Dracula, that I turn into a bat when actually I am a batsman was whilst on on this topic and I.

00:42:34:00 - 00:42:57:03
Unknown
I will maybe end with this question, but just to confirm my hypotheticals. Would you ever create a suit and has nipples place for.

00:42:57:05 - 00:43:04:24
Unknown
And again, we don't judge is the thing is the deal and.

00:43:05:01 - 00:43:35:03
Unknown
After my parents it got killed after the play in Gotham City, I decided that yes, I must don a suit. And I called myself the Batman because, as I said, I loved to play baseball. And yes, Dylan, when you have such accentuated nipples like the Count Dracula he does, you must wear them on the suit. But I will admit, Dylan, the abs, they are a bit of a.

00:43:35:05 - 00:44:00:06
Unknown
I did. You know, when you have so much food to pick up your teeth like I do? Trust me, you're eating far too much bread, so the abs are a bit of a mega. But I'll tell you one thing, Mr. Dylan. The nipples are true. Thank you very much, Dylan, for coming to my castle and cleaning up the stories of cancer.

00:44:00:08 - 00:44:25:14
Unknown
Good. Don't hit the door on your way out. No. Well, that was, that was a nice story between you, Dylan. I like the alter Dylan alter ego, by the way. I know you usually go by dildo, so, to be going by Dylan this time you were. You were a hardcore journalist. Yeah, really? But you pretty pressed that.

00:44:25:14 - 00:44:42:16
Unknown
Now, you, you did say that you were pretty. Pretty hot on the, the old Dracula history. So how much of that did you know off the top of your head? You really going in on count? No, it was it was it was actually, I knew a Vlad the Impaler. I know some, like, I think it was like mid, mid 1400s.

00:44:42:18 - 00:45:03:07
Unknown
And that was, he really liked. I, I assumed he liked it, but he actually did savagely kill people and drink their blood. Yeah. It's it's, it's he did impale people and then, Yeah. Drink their blood and invite them to the just. No, no, that's something that, that seemed to have kind of let people out of years.

00:45:03:07 - 00:45:28:12
Unknown
And he was a fan of baseball. And like that is definitely true. No, no. Yeah. So I mean that was a spooky, spooky. But also in this episode of three. What story next time. Dylan, what are we doing? We are going to go for an interesting place that you find a dragon. Now that I like that, Dylan, that is original, that is different.

00:45:28:14 - 00:45:55:23
Unknown
It's not because we're fed up of telling embarrassing stories about ourselves that's necessary. Bob. I'm sure we can discover more of those silly, silly stories. Well, next week you will hear exactly that. Three word story. Thanks for listening. Oh, Okay. Bye. Okay. Bye bye. Drop it down. Loot three stores. Thank you for listening to this week's three word story.

00:45:56:04 - 00:46:11:12
Unknown
If you would like to get in touch with James and Dylan, then please email us at the three word story at gmail.com. Com. Send you reviews, negative or positive or even your three words and will read them out on air. See you next week.