8. IQ Testicles & Worlds Fastest Birth

Welcome to "Three Word Story," where each episode spins a tale from the unexpected. Join hosts James Royle and Dylan Jacobs as they unravel narratives sparked by three random words from the innovative app what3words. From "Manipulate.Homemaking.Classified" to "Intervene.Sandwhich.Satisfaction" every episode promises whimsy, mystery, and creativity in just three words. Tune in for improvised adventures that blend imagination with spontaneity, proving that a world of stories can unfold from the most unlikely places. Ready to embark on a journey of words? Let's weave some magic together

Thank's for listening, Tune in next week for another episode!

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Transcript

0:00:00:00 - 00:00:23:10
Unknown
Hello. Send your dearest Dyl face of Darlington Shire. How are you? This finest of Fridays? Yes. Not bad. James. Ready to get into it? Ooh, Beau's deep into it. I hope, and by balls, I mean balls full of stories today. So we wanted to find three words based on a place where you would not want to go back to.

00:00:23:10 - 00:00:43:01
Unknown
Now, the caveats of this, as we described earlier, Dylan, is no traumatic. Yeah, let's let's keep it light. Let's keep it. Let's see, you know. No, let's stick this kid stay away from any churches, anything that may or may not have happened, and we will leave it at that. So only light heartedness, tomfoolery and some whippersnapper is all we want.

00:00:43:03 - 00:01:05:17
Unknown
That's fair thought. That takes me to a hospital. And I'm being serious. Oh, no. No, not just any hospital. So, and and again, I'm not sure what the exact dates are, but, but just any hospital, a clown hospital, an abandoned hospital. Oh, yeah. So that's it? Yeah, yeah. So kind of going for the for the paranormal side of things.

00:01:05:17 - 00:01:35:14
Unknown
And. Yeah, I, I think we were, we were 18 years old, and there was this abandoned hospital in Kempton Park, in, in haunting South Africa. And yeah, needless to say, we've wanted to visit this abandoned hospital. And I think it's been abandoned for the last 20, 20 something years. So, yeah, it's it's just like there's there's literally nothing.

00:01:35:14 - 00:01:56:16
Unknown
It's kind of like a shell of a building to show, but but as are most buildings in South Africa ICU. Yeah. Literal shell. It's. Yeah. It's just nothing's been taken. Nothing. Everything's been taken inside. And then. That's nice. Yeah. Actually it's it's ostrich shells. Ostriches. Yeah. They call they were egg shells or. Oh, it's just a whole shell that an ostrich lives inside.

00:01:56:16 - 00:02:13:02
Unknown
Yeah. Or like, they wear it on their back like a turtle. Maybe the ostrich is a different Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I think she stole it from the ostrich shell. Okay? They were like the. The ostriches don't draw well, so we want them to be shaped like men with shells on their back. Yeah. Total power. Yeah. Okay.

00:02:13:02 - 00:02:45:16
Unknown
So abandoned hospital? Yes. Abandoned hospital. 20 years old. Paranormal activity. We wanted to visit and, Yeah. He secretly kept, a knife. Knife with me. And I told my friends. Yeah, okay. I'm like, no, no, no. So I was like, point number one. This seems stupid. Not the fact that we break ring breaking and entering to get in there, but the fact that I'm going to try and stab a ghost or like, whatever, all my friends, I mean.

00:02:45:17 - 00:03:03:23
Unknown
Right. Did they ever find out about the knife? I told 1 or 2 people because I was like, I told them, please to not try and attempt to do a jumpscare on me or something, because you will, you will get murdered. Yeah. So, so how many people went to this site? So I think it was a group of about eight.

00:03:04:02 - 00:03:25:03
Unknown
Okay. Like, yeah, that's a reasonable a reasonable amount. And were it was anyone else packing heat at the time. Well, they were probably also too afraid to admit, but yeah. So everybody's eight, 18 year olds carrying knives. I'm too scared to say so. I don't know, because, yeah. Because he kind of bitch out. Because you,

00:03:25:05 - 00:03:45:13
Unknown
Why are you scared? And then I think all of us didn't want to say yes. This story is brought to you by men. Men who don't know how to exhibit feelings or talk to each other. Men, men. Yeah. Typical side. African side. Yeah. So we went there and, specifically, I would not go back to the, the children's ward.

00:03:46:04 - 00:04:11:09
Unknown
Why what happened when I was really gone? I don't know, no, it was, it was just the the most eerie feeling, ever where you kind of walk into that ward and, Yeah. Like these, these kid, like, finger paintings fucking on the wall. Oh, still, at 20 years, that's a good finger painting. So it's good. It's, they've held up well, they've held up through time.

00:04:11:11 - 00:04:41:02
Unknown
Little tiny beds, I assume. Little tiny crutches everywhere. Yeah. Tiny curtains, tiny syringes, tiny gowns, tiny, tiny tables, tiny anything paranoia, anything spooky happen in the hospital? Is it just, Yeah. Classic crunching of glass underfoot graffiti. But it's basically something like that. But, I think that's ironic. If I were to go back. So later on next summer, when I go back again, then I go back again.

00:04:41:11 - 00:04:55:17
Unknown
No, I think it would be with a smaller group. I think that's probably playing with fire, but I would say, it's it's it's easier to stop the other ones and get away with it, because trust me, when you try to to seven of the friends is a pain. Yeah. I just want to murder the close ones.

00:04:55:17 - 00:05:13:23
Unknown
Yeah, that's fine then. Just leave some behind. And then 2 to 3 is good. A good amount of murder. Obviously, we do not advocate for murder on this podcast. Or murder of friends. Obviously some light hearted knife, swordsmanship between friends in an abandoned hospital is just, it's it's an interesting thing to do. So. Scared you.

00:05:14:00 - 00:05:34:04
Unknown
You wouldn't go back there, you know, and I, I would not not know. You know, honestly, I probably won't go back. I don't want to dabble in any form of paranormal activity. So I was like, yeah, okay, let me, let me rather not do that again. Okay. And that was basically the, the, the kind of end of it.

00:05:34:04 - 00:06:07:16
Unknown
Yeah. Okay. So nothing interesting let's say happened right. Yeah. Yeah yeah. Several friends are behind you. You're walking in and you walk into the child's ward crinkling underfoot, and there's this just teeny tiny ghostly figure and looks at you for some reason, it's a young Victorian boy, because they always are. Ghosts usually are. It's very rarely see, like a millennial ghost, you know, they're always like, from way back when and looks at you because he's, he's, he got from, horny to take your soul.

00:06:07:20 - 00:06:31:24
Unknown
Well, what do you do, Dylan? In that moment, his eyeballs are missing. He's looking at you. He's got a bear dangling out of his hand. He's asked for your soul. What do you do? I point to my nearest friend and say you. We'll say to him. Take his garden. Hey, now that one is so goth. Now I want your tight little soul.

00:06:32:04 - 00:06:57:23
Unknown
What do you say to the child then? When they've. When he's asked for your your tiny tiny. I will probably ask tight. Yeah, yeah, yeah. God, Gavin, I want your tight, tight little soul. What do you say to the small boy? That in the children's ward he's crying. He's crying from his eyeless eyes. What do you say? He couldn't give a shit.

00:06:58:05 - 00:07:16:00
Unknown
I was like, go back to your mom. I like. Yeah, you're going to give him some, go back to. You know, I'm I in all honesty, I, I'm trying to put myself in the situation you I do I have to say, you're doing an incredible job of setting the scene, but not. There's no fucking way. Okay. From around the corner.

00:07:16:01 - 00:07:42:18
Unknown
Yeah. Give my son your tiny little pocket. So the mum walks around the corner. He's like, his mum's there now. And she's also saying to you to keep this child so that now all of a sudden it just gives leverage. Okay, I, you can go get the uncle and the fucking father. Well, shit. Yeah. Oh, boy. It is that good.

00:07:42:18 - 00:08:03:15
Unknown
Is that what that that joke doesn't work for anybody else. It's good introducing Curtis to the podcast. Oh he's of this. So okay, so you're basically going to stand there and demand that the child go to other members of the family instead of giving you the type to do. Do not try to not what? Like why would I say yes?

00:08:03:17 - 00:08:23:07
Unknown
Okay. So Dylan does not negotiate with go. No. Now actually maybe I maybe yeah maybe I do. Can I give like a little bit a little bit of soul. What she said it is a little salty bit of, Aretha Franklin. Just a little bit. Yeah, yeah. So you just going to give him a little bit of your tight little soul?

00:08:23:10 - 00:08:45:08
Unknown
You're going to give that child a small bit of your time. And I hopefully he has a sense of humor and me not wanting to give up my soul. He be like, maybe I can tell him an old, Victorian joke of which I'm not. Yeah. So, Knock knock. Who's there? Not me. And then I run, dime and then nightmare.

00:08:45:10 - 00:09:01:15
Unknown
And then hopefully there's like, okay, let's I probably run off, but anyway, we'll float after you, I guess. I mean, I that I'm like, yeah, okay. Well, all right, it's good to know now. And now we know what you would do in a paranormal, incident. You would offer a small bit of your tight little soul, and then you would give a very bad joke and leave.

00:09:01:15 - 00:09:32:06
Unknown
So my scary place where I would not go back to in the very same ilk as yours. Dylan, is an abandoned, scary place. Oh. Oh, my childhood house. That my bedroom, I think the cupboard under the stairs. So this was not a hospital, but it was a hotel. And this hotel, it partially burnt down, the top two floors, and had been left abandoned for a few years.

00:09:32:06 - 00:09:56:11
Unknown
So as you know, 16 to 18 year olds do mail. We risk our lives and go investigate it immediately because we're all fucking stupid. Again, this story is brought to you by men doing things to kill ourselves from birth. And so we we turn up on the first night, pitch black, and we make our way into the basement area and we decide, fuck this, this is dangerous.

00:09:56:11 - 00:10:12:05
Unknown
And we leave immediately. The next day, we come back. I don't know why I had to give you the. But I could have just made it sound like we went in the day. But I want to give you the full story. Sure. So we arrive, and, my friend Matt, pushes out and he stays outside into the car park to make watch.

00:10:12:08 - 00:10:37:17
Unknown
You know, he was a bit like, the Scooby Doo of the situation. Oh, no. No no way. Man. Rottweiler. It's a he. So he stayed out there and, me, Richard and Jonathan. James. Richard and Jonathan. Wow. To a ball. Now, this sounds like a fucking Victorian old story. Myself, James, Richard and Jonathan entered into the rear of the hotel.

00:10:37:19 - 00:10:58:17
Unknown
Thank goodness for finishing that sentence. So when we finished with the rear, we went into now into the hotel. Yeah. So we went into the hotel through the basement because it was the easiest way to get in, because everywhere else was fenced off and it was very dark down there crunching underfoot, graffiti everywhere. And we make our way through the basement and the basement.

00:10:58:19 - 00:11:22:00
Unknown
I was like, how did you get a tattoo down here? That's impressive. So we crunch on through the corridors and we make it to the first base of the staircase, and my telephonic communication device starts to ring and I pull it out and it's Matt, the Scooby Doo like figure who stood outside making watch for us. Yeah, I look suspiciously at my friends and I think, oh, what's rumbled.

00:11:22:02 - 00:11:49:20
Unknown
So I answer the phone and we're in the basement, right. So the signal's very much not crack. Yeah. Come on. Somebody somebody's upstairs. Somebody's upstairs. But. We look at each other silent, I go, I think he said, there's someone upstairs. We sit there in silence and upstairs you just hear.

00:11:49:22 - 00:12:09:13
Unknown
And you can hear footsteps back, running back and forth. So we look at each other and we fucking cheese it out of that. Yeah. Straight down to the end of the corridor. Turn right up the stairs and we go see mama is pointing up at two floors above us, and there is a figure running one side of the window.

00:12:09:15 - 00:12:32:02
Unknown
It's the other side of the window to the other side of the window and then stops. He got lost. Yeah. And it's straight out of the wall. And then. Okay, okay. We see just this bearded figure with half of his face just sitting outside the window, just looking through the side of his face with a big fucking beard, and they begin sprinting from one side to the other.

00:12:32:04 - 00:12:53:07
Unknown
And it was fucking terrifying. So what do we naturally do? We get more friends, and we come back another day. Because this story is brought to you by men. Never know when we're being defeated until we die. So we come back another day with 810 of us. I don't believe anyone was packing this, but we'll probably be too embarrassed to mention it even if we do it.

00:12:53:07 - 00:13:14:10
Unknown
Yeah, and this time we managed to make our way up through the stairs, up until the top level that had been burnt, now in one of the rooms and the room was burnt out. And on there, down on the floor was a mattress. On the mattress was a Bible, of course, and next to the Bible was developed photos.

00:13:14:10 - 00:13:44:18
Unknown
I mean, you know, like when you go to a photo shop and you get your disposable camera and like, not just like printed off from a printer or taken out of magazines, developed pictures of children, young children just doing children business, nothing really horrendous, but just dotted around this Bible. So either terrifying demonic hobo or probably a university photography degree person just trying to do something to look scary either way freaked me out.

00:13:44:19 - 00:14:05:01
Unknown
I said, nah, off we pop and we left to never return again. Now, not only would I never go back there again, but I believe it's now been completely been bulldozed and will never to be seen again. So I will never return to that place because the scary, scary hobos and b the scary scary bibles with pictures of babies around it.

00:14:05:01 - 00:14:31:17
Unknown
And those two things just do not do it for me. Dylan. So let's say, Dylan, your scary hotel gave you, what, three words? Flash. Oh, yeah. A savior of the universe only bump, bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump. Do you read the words Bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom flash Gordon.

00:14:31:17 - 00:14:55:03
Unknown
Anyway, sorry. Combos, combos and running flash combos and running. Yes. Right. That's exactly what it's like. It's like. It's like a trick from a comic book. 100% credible. Yeah. So flash combos running nice. It looks like it's going to be a tremendous story. About it's not. It's fucking God. It's just me singing over and over again. Yes.

00:14:55:05 - 00:15:22:15
Unknown
So my scary hotel gives me the words Friday yours and mutual of Friday. I see where this is heading, but. Okay. Sure. Yeah. Trust me. You don't believe me, do you? Do not. All right. So before we. Tom. Tom to find out who does this story first. Right. Then we did the finger behind the back, and there was some miscommunication there.

00:15:22:15 - 00:15:46:11
Unknown
What, you believe maybe I was swearing at you, and, I don't want to be ill. Blood. So. Yeah, because I was. I've come up with another way for us to decipher who does the story first. And we not sure if deciphering is the word, but. Yo, what's that? We double. Double? We double. So to those who do not do double, double is a game where has circular cards and on the cards are some images.

00:15:46:16 - 00:16:06:17
Unknown
Okay. And this is a Harry Potter special of double. So on this card for instance you have witches hat, you have Hermione Granger, you have gray haired lady, and you pick a card from the deck, right. And you have different or some of them maybe with the same. All right. And you have to call out which one you have first.

00:16:06:20 - 00:16:26:04
Unknown
That is, double watch one, which one I have first. So let's say these are going to be your cards Dylan P is going to be my cards Dylan okay. Then we're going to have a card in the middle that we turn around, okay. And it's going to look like that. You pull up your card and I would go Hogwarts symbol, Hogwarts symbol I when I do my story first.

00:16:26:05 - 00:16:43:12
Unknown
Oh, okay. Get me. Yeah. Delicious. There's some cards. Best to three. All right. Is is that the, this is the middle card now because you just took the middle card, you prick. Yes. Don't take this card. So you're gonna look at your first card. Look at your first card. You pick up your first cup, right? You're looking at it.

00:16:43:14 - 00:17:10:11
Unknown
Yeah. Are you ready to double? Yeah. Three. Two. One double. Yeah. Oh, fuck. Really? No. Hahaha. Hahaha hahaha. Book with tongue. Book with tongue. Right. One nil to me. Next one. Ready? Yeah. Three. Two. One go! No. I've got really hot. No, he's a different one. Glasses. Glasses on that one. Yeah.

00:17:10:11 - 00:17:36:02
Unknown
Okay. Right. New card. Ready? I bet this is brilliant for a podcast audio thing. I see it, yeah. The last card I did look at. Because you you look good. Yeah, yeah, that's a definite quick hand cheating. So. Dylan. Right. The decider. Are you ready to double? Yeah. Three two, one double. I don't have any of these things.

00:17:36:20 - 00:17:40:08
Unknown
Oh.

00:17:42:23 - 00:18:06:14
Unknown
I thought you didn't have something, so I was like, oh, I've got this, double master, double master, double master. Wait, what does that mean? Hugo? Hugo, Hugo. Double. No. No, Hugo. Good friend of mine. I know so I will do my story first. Now, Dylan. Yeah. So I decided to take a mantra of yours.

00:18:06:16 - 00:18:26:06
Unknown
All right? And I know you like to go and live your life by what? What did he do? You know, and I know that is a is a deep mantra to you or Sean Diddy Combs or whatever you may call him. And you'd like to think, you know. Sure, it's comes, it comes.

00:18:27:00 - 00:18:49:04
Unknown
I know you like to live by the mantra. What would Sean Diddy Combs do in this situation now? Like, why are you wincing so much? Just as I'm not so sure. So I wasn't overly prepared, for for this this week. As you know, Dylan, I have, I'm not working at the moment, and it's been bliss, but it has led to my creativity to be somewhat drained.

00:18:49:06 - 00:19:11:23
Unknown
All right. You know, I've been going outside much. I've been socializing, and brain was a bit dead, so I thought, like your friend Sean Diddy Combs, I would manipulate the situation to suit me in every single way. Okay, okay. And I would just take this as I wanted to and do as what I want with it. As what would you do as he doesn't is, well, your hero, not mine.

00:19:12:00 - 00:19:36:13
Unknown
And my words were Friday. Yours mutual. So I thought well it's Friday. Yours is you. And mutual is mutually beneficial for this podcast. All right. So I'm going to get you to do the work for my story.

00:19:36:15 - 00:20:10:03
Unknown
That's coming up tonight ladies. It is a hard hard but what would what would Diddy Combs do at the end of the day. So I thought how can I make this work for our, three words. Right. So three points of three. Dylan, how can I make the best of this situation? So I remembered that there is the world's shortest IQ test, which is three questions, like three word story to get you to test your IQ.

00:20:10:05 - 00:20:34:10
Unknown
So for the listeners at home or for the listener or for nobody, you will now confirm Dylan's IQ is extremely low. Maybe you will shock the listeners at home. Maybe this is your time to prove I never had to do this. I just kind of told you that. But maybe they were wrong. Dylan. All right, all right. So for you, Dylan, I'm listening.

00:20:34:10 - 00:20:54:07
Unknown
I send you with my notes. Yeah. That's my. That is your. This one? Yeah. I actually think that's the first time you call that, like, straight of Dylan. They say like Dylan, and then you're like, yeah. What's the other guy's name? Dill face. So Darlington dill Shire delighted in Dylan. Dylan. Yeah. Did he. Jacobs. Yeah, I have an IQ.

00:20:54:09 - 00:21:25:16
Unknown
Yes. James IQ test. Three questions. Right. Okay. This was designed by MIT. I could just imagine you just asking for things that you want to know and then should. If you were gaped by a man in a club on Saturday, there'd be nine inches. I mean, what would I be? So only in reverse. So this this is genuine.

00:21:25:17 - 00:21:46:24
Unknown
All right. So if everyone at home, they can play along as well and they can test how intelligent or not they are. So this was this was developed by the MIT Institute in Massachusetts America. And this so this is intelligently done. Yeah. Covers different subjects in these three questions. So Dylan on this three what story. I have three questions.

00:21:46:24 - 00:22:09:18
Unknown
Question number one. Well a bat and a ball costs $1.10 1.10 in total the bat costs $1 more than the ball. How much does the ball cost?

00:22:09:20 - 00:22:39:21
Unknown
A bat and a ball. Yeah. Costs $1.10. Yeah, $1.10. The bat costs $1. Yeah. More than the ball. How much does the ball cost? Not just ten. Ten. Did you. This this is what it says. Oh. Did you just say $0.10, you stupid prick. Yeah. It's not quite those words, but some of those words are true. That's what Frederick was expecting your gut instinct to be.

00:22:40:00 - 00:23:13:23
Unknown
Yeah. Fucking Frederick. He. Dick. He's mocking you. He's mocking you. Do you want to second guess? Think about it. Think about it. The bat costs $1 more. $1 more. So. Okay, so if the ball was $0.10, how much? $1.10. Did I just say that. So the whole amount is $1.10 okay. Yeah. So if the ball was $0.10 then how much would the bat be.

00:23:14:00 - 00:23:22:13
Unknown
In that case it won't be $1 more.

00:23:22:15 - 00:23:44:14
Unknown
Would you like the answer? Yeah, it would be $0.05. So $1 more. Yeah. It has to be $0.05. So then the bat will be $1.05.

00:23:44:16 - 00:24:03:10
Unknown
Okay I can't no, no okay. Hey, look, it was a warm up. You didn't know it. So now you your brains warmed up. I'm okay. Sure I can. Your brains warmed up. It was a difficult one, right? Maybe it was on a board. It would have been better for you. But do you understand? Yeah. Okay. You. You're shaking your head saying no, but you're saying yes, which is okay.

00:24:03:15 - 00:24:33:07
Unknown
I, you know, it's an audio medium. So second question. Dylan. Yeah. Second question. If it takes five machines, five minutes to make five widgets, how long would it take 100 machines to make 100 widgets. Now, think about it first, Dylan. That's the issue. Yeah. If they don't just say fucking thing.

00:24:33:09 - 00:24:50:20
Unknown
Right. Can't think about. Right. So five machines. Yeah. It takes five minutes to make five widgets. How many would it take? To make a hundred.

00:24:50:22 - 00:25:09:21
Unknown
So think about it. How how many widgets does one machine make. This is kind of this is going to sound funny. What the fuck. It it's it's just like a it's just like a thing. It's like a, like a, like a widget. Like a, it's like a just a thing. Like a, like a, like something. Yeah. Like it makes a double card.

00:25:09:22 - 00:25:43:24
Unknown
Makes a double. If this machine makes five double cards. Yeah. In five minutes. Yeah. How many minutes would it make to the hundred machines to make a hundred cards? 20. Cut. You cut. So how how many can one machine make in five minutes? Five. Could you say five? Five machines. Yeah. Takes five minutes to make five widgets. Ooh.

00:25:44:01 - 00:26:02:20
Unknown
But five. Got you got you got this. Dillon. I believe in you. You have this. It would be five minutes. It would take five minutes, Dillon. Five minutes.

00:26:02:22 - 00:26:40:06
Unknown
Yeah. That's five. Five machines. Yes. Five minutes. Yes. Five widgets. Five widgets. So how long would it take? 100 machines to do 100 widgets? 100? No. Okay, it's five five. It's five. Because it takes one machine five minutes to do one widget. So five machines make five widgets, right? Yeah. So a hundred making one widget each still takes five minutes.

00:26:40:08 - 00:27:05:11
Unknown
Okay. With with zero for two, it's okay. So hey, it's Dillon. It's okay. Thank you. We can just to make you feel better. By the way, they are the top two. We're talking Harvard University. Only 20% of Harvard graduates got these right. 26% at Princeton University, 48% of MIT. But they created it. So I'm sure that they've kind of fucked around.

00:27:05:11 - 00:27:15:16
Unknown
So final question them. Now you're really warmed up. I know you are going to knock this one out of the park. Be.

00:27:15:18 - 00:27:36:13
Unknown
In a lake there is a patch of lily pads every day. I just want to object like whole fucking them. Like, no, in South Africa we don't even have them. So dip. Right? So already you're a disadvantage because you don't have lily pads. That's a bullshit side, but I should. Yeah. People at home go fuck you. Yeah. Do it.

00:27:36:14 - 00:28:09:05
Unknown
Do. Yeah. I'm going to lily pad that. I love my lily pad. I don't know, I fucked up my own accent, but, yeah, that's how it is. Why did you speak like someone else? Cut it. So in a lake, there is a patch of lily pads. Every day. Every day the patch doubles in size. Okay, if it takes 48 days for the patch to cover the entire lake, how long would it have taken for it to cover half of the lake?

00:28:09:07 - 00:28:24:07
Unknown
So it takes 48 days to cover the whole lake? Yeah. How many days would it have taken to have covered half of the lake?

00:28:24:09 - 00:28:58:18
Unknown
Doubled in size every day. Every day. And it's full on 48 days. 48 days. Well, it wouldn't be the half of the 48. It would probably be, 24. It doubles every day. Every day, every day it doubles. And it's full on the 48th day.

00:28:58:20 - 00:29:13:20
Unknown
So how long would it have taken to get a half? So if you think when it got to half, how many days is it until it's full?

00:29:13:22 - 00:29:29:14
Unknown
It doubles every day. So if it's half full. Yeah, but like I don't see it because the half of the lake right.

00:29:29:16 - 00:29:56:02
Unknown
It's going to really be that. Am I sucking over time I think I think you'll make your overestimating the the the lilies themselves. Yes. I don't think in real life lilies do reproduce themselves to such a degree. So maybe, maybe, maybe we're getting over so on the 14. Oh well, I like if it's 48 full. Yeah. I can't see it just being 24.

00:29:56:04 - 00:30:26:04
Unknown
Right. Because I'm half right. Yeah. Because you you do you you can't just So it doubles every, every day. So it starts from one lily pad and doubles every single day. Okay. Yeah. So on the 48th day, it's full. One full, one full. Yeah. I'm going I'm going to fucking not give an answer until you give me more, which is these green lily pads.

00:30:26:06 - 00:30:51:22
Unknown
And there are totes looking from outside and they're licking their toady lips. Okay? They're repeating away, watching this incredible lake when their lilies repeatedly double. And it's taken 48 days for this whole lake to be covered by lilies. And it's doubling every day, doubling every day. So one becomes two, two becomes four, four becomes a. And I can do this until the end.

00:30:52:03 - 00:31:21:13
Unknown
Yeah. Okay. But it takes 48 days for this lake to fill. So how many days would it have taken to get half full bearing in mind 32. Bearing in mind it doubles every day. So if you double a half, what happens? Can't do it. I mean. If you double the half, it will be. Then what? Yeah. What? So let's see if you have 0.5 and double, it equals one.

00:31:21:15 - 00:31:33:21
Unknown
So what? What day would you have had to double the half to get to one? Bearing in mind, 48 days it took to get full.

00:31:33:23 - 00:31:56:15
Unknown
Enough. God, I felt like we were so close. Dylan. Yeah. I feel, you know, like it's things like this that I actively scroll past my whole entire life, I've never been able to to sit and to problem solve like this at all. It's okay. Next time. Yeah. I will take you to a lake, okay? And I will get lily pads.

00:31:56:15 - 00:32:21:13
Unknown
So what's the answer there? The answer is 47 days. So on the 47th day, it was half full. Bearing in mind the lilies double every single day. So if it was half full and it doubled, it would then be full. Yeah, on the 48. But that's what I get. But how do you get to 47 it like I would like.

00:32:21:15 - 00:32:51:06
Unknown
Because the day because the day before 248 it's full. Yeah. This lake is full. So the day before it had to be half full. Yeah. To double to become full to 47. Okay I get so I okay okay okay. So basically look you are in the same 80% as Princetown University. You're in the same 80% as Harvard.

00:32:51:06 - 00:33:13:16
Unknown
Dylan. You are the same as 80% of Harvard University. You know, which makes you mean though I credibly intelligent. So like you are the same as 80% you you don't. Thank you James, I appreciate what you're trying to do. It's I mean, it it was just two. It was a Friday test, as I said, it was a cop out.

00:33:13:18 - 00:33:33:13
Unknown
I did take your mantra of what would Pete Coombs do? And I thought I would take he decided, yeah, he would, he would to confuse you. Yeah, he would confuse you. He would take an IQ test. I mean, that's that's that's what, that's what. That's it. I'm pretty sure that's what he's accused of is just randomly putting out IQ test to people and bamboozling them as much as they did and buying them off the scent.

00:33:33:13 - 00:33:51:12
Unknown
I felt like you were so close at points. I wanted to maybe push it a little bit more and I, you know, I think maybe next time for next week when I give you the next IQ test, but you will be prepared. Okay. I thought like a bit double would waking up the senses a little bit, but, hey, you want the 80% as Harvard?

00:33:51:12 - 00:34:12:02
Unknown
I've. I've, Yeah. Of normal people. Of normal people of of Harvard. So you are up there. So, you know, next time you're talking to a lady, you'd be like, hey, I'm just as smart as 80% as Harvard University. Thank you very much. Because that's what I always, lead with, like, just exactly. And. Yeah. And you're like, hey, love, I do what PD Coombs does.

00:34:12:04 - 00:34:31:04
Unknown
Here's an IQ test. Boom. So, Ryan, thank you very much for that, Dylan. And this and that lovely cop out today. And I hope everyone at home enjoyed that as well. And I would love to know. Is it well, I wonder if there were people sat there going, for fuck's sake, it's this. Or they were just as bamboozled as you were.

00:34:31:06 - 00:35:02:20
Unknown
I mean, actually, like I, I've listened to similar questions, like extremely similar. I actually think the, I'll actually quickly tell a story when it came to certain math tests. Right. And this is not necessarily linked to math, but I, I understand it's, my problem solving, but I, I remember getting a test, like, writing a math test, getting 78% as a result of that, like 78%.

00:35:02:22 - 00:35:35:07
Unknown
Nearly a distinction. And my mom was incredibly pissed. Like, she was like, how the fuck could you mess this test up? And the reason why she was pissed off more than like, my normal math scores, was because I actually had the exact replica of that testing. So you could even cheat. I didn't even cheat like you had.

00:35:35:11 - 00:35:53:06
Unknown
If you had the answers. How did you mess that up? I'm like, no, but I got 80%. And she was like, you had the answers. So yeah, just to give a bit of insight, that gives the insight of, to Dylan's extremely mathematical brain. But hey, you just need to be in and around the 80% at all time.

00:35:54:09 - 00:36:26:09
Unknown
80%. Yeah. So you're right. Thank you. Dylan, your words were flash. Oh, combos running. Hit me. Dylan, show me what you're working with. No, honestly, I'm still trying to. To formulate what? What notes I jotted down over here because. Okay. Quite, all over the place. Okay. What I'm looking at is the the scratchings of a kind of guy who goes with his friends in the woods with a knife.

00:36:26:11 - 00:36:47:03
Unknown
Yeah. You know, so I can see a little bit of a stickman hanging and blood coming from my eyes. And little Victorian boys asking for tight little souls on that page. So, Dylan, hit me with your rhythm stick. Well, I guess what it comes down to. And I thought what it comes down to is combos. Let's start with the word combo.

00:36:47:05 - 00:37:19:15
Unknown
Combo. Now, I'm sure all of us have, a combination of events, lessons, experiences, that kind of make us who we are. Like, for instance, your favorite, favorite comic, right. Maybe that might have been something. Maybe your your favorite movie. Every little thing that has happened in your life in some set of events or circumstances kind of made you you are.

00:37:19:17 - 00:37:51:20
Unknown
Needless to say, I figured I will use these words to create the world's longest IQ test. Introduction. That was a good one. So if you had a like. Full of fuck, you just fucking 47. Yeah. Anyway, so no, I figured, let me let me start off with that. It was. Did you have a favorite comic growing up?

00:37:51:22 - 00:38:10:18
Unknown
Did I have a favorite comic? I, Lee Evans, did you have Lee Evans back? In the south of Africa. He was a guy who sweated extremely with so many passengers on stage and run from left to right and left to right, and made me feel better about my overall sweating. Because I sweat like a paedo in a playground.

00:38:10:18 - 00:38:32:14
Unknown
So he was, a hero of mine. Very funny. Man of the people. I would say he was a favorite comic growing up. Jimmy Carr, if you heard of Jimmy Carr, very sarcastic guy. Very, very dry jokes. Usually over the line. Don't know what you know. Don't know what that would be like to mention that I think he maybe has the mantra of what did he would do maybe as well.

00:38:32:14 - 00:38:53:20
Unknown
Who knows? But I would say those, a couple of my favorite, favorite comics back in the day, man of the people, in some dry, dry humor. That's fair. And that has nothing to do with what I'm okay with, because I actually mean comic books. But, yeah, that one.

00:38:53:22 - 00:39:14:03
Unknown
It's nonetheless, it's the it's the sassiness of your crossed arms, as you said. I'm just, Yes, yes. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Jesus. Yeah, yeah. Go back one minute. Shut the fuck up. Because that's not what I meant, you prick. Okay. Comic books. All right, so comic book style. And what? My favorite comic books are, you mean?

00:39:14:04 - 00:39:32:11
Unknown
Okay, my favorite comic books, would be, the The Beano back in the day. So maybe not like your superhero things, but, you know, the Beano, Dennis the Menace in the the, the Blackie was a little shit run around with his slingshot knocking people out. And that also had banana man in there as well.

00:39:32:11 - 00:39:56:03
Unknown
If you're gonna go for a superhero approach, it's just a man who would just fuck things up. Because this is banana man, right? This is the normal thing to do. And then I had a graphic novel, not like a pole magazine, but like, you know, the edgy drawing ones of Judge Dredd. That was pretty cool. You know, the, the law is, you know, he's like a awesome, badass police officer on a floaty motorbike.

00:39:56:05 - 00:40:13:23
Unknown
Well, in this case, we'll add this to the show notes. I might just revisit this. Yeah. Oh, okay. Okay. Yeah, we don't do show notes, but, Yeah. No, I know, but that's always what they say on this is like. And now it points out we did do show that, you fucking idiot. It's. Yeah. Just really it was, Sylvester Stallone had the movie.

00:40:13:23 - 00:40:40:08
Unknown
It was like a 90s movie. And had Rob Schneider in it, as well as a as, like a sweaty, kind of nervous dude as he is. And there's an awesome part where Judge Dredd, Sylvester Stallone stands off the bike and his boot hits down on the floor, and he has, like, a cool mask with a reflective visor over it, and their little microphone buzzes down from his helmet and amplifies his voice and goes, the law.

00:40:40:12 - 00:41:01:19
Unknown
And now my nipples got heartburn because I got all the. Yeah, yeah. Oh, wow. Look at let's get the nipples on. So I would highly recommend that it's this is a top film. Top film. So. No. So I just figured, like, it obviously had quite an effect, like, I, I looked at my thing was movies we'd been really have.

00:41:01:21 - 00:41:27:05
Unknown
Well, I wasn't really into the comic book type thing, so. But the movies kind of did it for me. Otherwise my, my comic, I think if I would have read comic books, I mean, I would have turned into Millionaire Man, If I had to guess, or, real estate or read. Okay, so real estate writ large, that doesn't matter anyway.

00:41:27:10 - 00:42:13:09
Unknown
So. So this is world's longest introduction, starting with a very long story. It starts off with this gentleman, very esteemed gentleman. Right. Very successful sports figure. Now bear in mind the words are flash combos. Yes. And running. Interesting. We start off with the fastest birth in the Caribbean. Right. So someone actually giving birth in the fastest amount of time, not just from the, the person giving labor side, but also the, the child.

00:42:13:11 - 00:42:41:05
Unknown
Working from his end to doing his business, doing his side of it. Right. So so even giving and I actually read this up. Sofia bug, a run for her money. But, yeah, apparently 27 seconds. James. Oof! 27 seconds. So just like the world's waters broke 27 seconds. Seconds. Pop. Shuang. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah. So that was starting off there.

00:42:41:16 - 00:43:18:07
Unknown
So this this Jamaican gentleman, right. Received his first comic book for his birthday on his, 11th birthday, to be specific. Needless to say, flash, was the, the comic book character. Now, I know there's there's different, like kind of reincarnations of flash with different type thing, but the, the point of it is speed, right?

00:43:18:09 - 00:43:21:06
Unknown
Think fast.

00:43:21:08 - 00:44:01:16
Unknown
Think fast and think fast. That's how big pause moves fast right. Does it. Was that the catch superhuman. The speed flash thinks that. Think fast move fast move fast. Yeah man. This was only two two pages. Two pages longer. Yeah okay. This it's like the classic move fast and fast. Yeah. Yeah. Quick. So. Yeah. So now, he read through this comic being grossed and just the idea of doing everything faster then he's then his sister, then his, his brother, parents, everything he did, he attempted to do as fast as possible.

00:44:01:16 - 00:44:23:07
Unknown
So he really kind of took that too hard. Speed. Speed was like the game speed. And I know that's a close quote, but I forget what he is. I, I know that's a cause I like. I was not going to call you out of that. So maybe like, by the way, I know that because of course he's the tattooed super left cheek.

00:44:23:10 - 00:44:57:03
Unknown
My is it. Yeah. Lightning left cheek. McQueen. The right cheek. Oh, and the tongue. The way he drives in the middle now. Anyway, why did you give me this lightning McQueen condoms? Well, that's what you anyway. So. No, he actually found. And this particular way, like he found, found a hobby. And, he wanted to be the person to bake a batch of chocolate chip cookies faster than anyone.

00:44:57:04 - 00:45:18:15
Unknown
That's. That would be the first thing I would think of when I when it comes to speed. And I want to be anyone. Oh, okay. Baking. Baking went straight into it. Fastest chocolate chip cookies being ready now. Needless to say, you can only work on the front end and then you have to put it in the oven for a set amount of time.

00:45:18:15 - 00:45:43:04
Unknown
Because I do not know, how long you should put cookies in those in the oven for like 12 to 14 minutes. Sounds funny. If I had to guess, 20 hours maybe. So needless to say, as he was putting his, he's cookies in the oven turn on the telly, because that's what Jamaican people call television. Tell him out.

00:45:43:05 - 00:46:10:11
Unknown
Yeah, tell it man. Banana. So, he switched on the telly and, sort of watching this random random movie that was on and, yeah, decided to give it a go, because the accent seemed familiar. As in the Jamaican accent. Jamaican. Okay. So just for, just for the listeners, could we maybe have a little bit of the just so we can I like I really want to get into the story.

00:46:10:11 - 00:46:33:05
Unknown
I really want to I want to feel like I'm there, you know, I want to I want and I want to know what this young lad, whatever his name is, is feeling. Well, so the movie was watching was Cool Runnings, Cool Runnings. And I'll give you a taste of the Jamaican accent a teeny tiny bit later. But what?

00:46:33:09 - 00:47:08:17
Unknown
Okay, he was watching a movie, what turned out to be one of the most iconic sporting combinations? Well, not the movie them, but he ended up watching the combination of people in the movie that was the most iconic sporting combinations of people in a movie, according to Dylan. I think it's in every single, well, at least in the 90s and early 2000s was in every single school's curriculum to show that in a school, when the teachers had fuck all else, to do nothing, to do the end of term, what do we do for the kids?

00:47:08:19 - 00:47:34:09
Unknown
Cool runnings mom, run it cool, run it. So yeah, it was Cool Runnings. And after realizing, baking cookies would be, stupid to start, story introduction. I mean, his his his story of his introduction to speed. That's what he thought then that's. Yeah, that's what he thought. So he shifted his focus to his athletic capabilities.

00:47:34:11 - 00:48:03:07
Unknown
Needless to say, running, didn't see it coming. Didn't see that coming. Right. Watching Cool Runnings figured let me shift focus running. But not on ice because Jamaica actually didn't have a bobsled team in the 90s. They didn't know. They did not. It's not true. It's not true. It's all a lie. James. Oh fuck me. I thought a genuinely, genuinely thought that there was some truth in it.

00:48:03:09 - 00:48:25:21
Unknown
So you're telling me they never even. I mean, I wasn't expecting a medal, but they never even got into the Olympics and never played team. Yeah, and wow, you've ruined my Friday. You you you ruined my Friday. Fuck. You couldn't answer the fucking questions, and then you come in and then you just shit on the movie even. And yours mutually fucked your Friday.

00:48:25:23 - 00:48:55:20
Unknown
So yeah, needless to say, because they didn't have a bobsled team, he just focused on the running itself. And, he very quickly excelled and became, a local forced force to be reckoned with. Now, fast forward a couple of years, global superstar, including events like the 100 meter. Oh, 200 meter, and men's four by 100 meter relay.

00:48:56:16 - 00:49:24:00
Unknown
So, but the coolest thing about this gentleman is he has gone on record, to quote some of the lines in Cool Runnings. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, I, I'm speed. I'm speed. When, when a reporter asked him how is he feeling today just kind of before the race, he was like, He's feeling very Olympic too. Oh, actually, I, I promised the Jamaican you did.

00:49:24:00 - 00:49:52:04
Unknown
You did. Don't you don't retract on that late. But hang on. Brace right piece of character. Yeah, yeah. Hit me. I'm feeling very Olympic man. How you feeling? Well, let me close my eyes out. I'm feeling very Olympic man. Oh, God. He ever so good. It's like I'm there. How are you feeling? Right. Boom. Then also. Afterwards. Post-race.

00:49:52:04 - 00:50:25:17
Unknown
After the golden medal. I think I've given too much away anyway. But up to the medal. He then quoted cards. Feel the rhythm, feel the ride. Get on up. It's bobsled time, right? So cool. Cool Runnings. I've said that way too many times. Which actually means all is well or peace be the journey. The journey that in case he.

00:50:25:17 - 00:50:56:20
Unknown
Yeah. Peace be the journey. Yeah. Right. Yeah. So, I, I think you can piece together who this is. No. Please tell me. And ladies and gentlemen, our special guest, put your hands together for none other than. Yeah, Yohan Blake. Yohan Blake. Nice. Hey, Yohan. Blake. Wow. Yeah. Now I'm just checking it was Usain Bolt. I figured that the flash, the flash, the running.

00:50:56:22 - 00:51:17:14
Unknown
Look at me running the running flash combo. Running bolt. It was. It was staring me right in the face. It was. It was. Yeah, that was. And and the pace of the story really matched all the words as well. Shooter and combo was combo was in that or was was the introduction. Yeah. She took she was just covering that word.

00:51:17:14 - 00:51:42:11
Unknown
I don't know, I barely noticed, to be honest. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you got it. Hey, you could have you could have gone with the fried chicken combo that he apparently used to have. I mean, oh, I heard that he does the the McNuggets. Okay. The McNuggets. Normally at McDonald's, people obviously happened to at McDonald's because he he doesn't trust for athletes.

00:51:42:11 - 00:52:05:03
Unknown
I don't want to, delve into food that they aren't familiar with, so they normally just stick to. You don't want to have diarrhea when you're running 9.58 seconds. You know, that's that's good on that one. Thank you very much. She's embedded in my brain. Oh. Well, thank you very much for. Yes, for a very long winded show.

00:52:05:05 - 00:52:27:13
Unknown
And now to the story, not to this story. So, that was the origins of, you seen him as Baltimore? Yeah. And it's not his actual name. He said his mother's name was. Yeah. Yeah, it was actually christened him. So it's it's, I believe his second name is Leo. You saying Leo Bolt? Yeah. Saint Leo bolt.

00:52:27:15 - 00:52:49:19
Unknown
They say that his birth name, like his surname is bolt. Like I confirm this. It's bolt was born. It's father was his bolt, Mr. bolt? Yes. Yeah. You can call me Mr. Bolt. Yeah. Or Thunderbolt. I'm coming in. Mr. Thunderbolt. Volts. Settle. Settle. Yeah. Anyway, so. Wow, I didn't know that. I just assume that maybe it was like a nickname.

00:52:49:19 - 00:53:15:19
Unknown
No. You twit was. But no, I actually, the amount of things I googled today, James, that I felt, because I was in, public space, but now I'm googling Usain Bolt, which I. That's fine. That's fine. Yeah, yeah. And then I was like, okay, flash the comic book. Yeah. And then after that world's fastest birth. Oh like the the.

00:53:15:20 - 00:53:38:10
Unknown
Okay. Oh no. I accidently typed World's Hardest good on my own. Yeah. On a cat again. Yeah, I just I caught me on that one. I'm sorry once, but. Yeah. Yeah. I'll just I'll save this page for another day. And so, that was Dylan story on the world's hardest girth. Thank you very much for the origin stories of you say so hard to come up with yet.

00:53:38:12 - 00:53:57:03
Unknown
Girth usually is. There we go. Introduction of double. Maybe next time we can. We can fire it off, bit fast. So maybe I'll come up with a different way for who does the story first. It's good to know that you are in the top 80% of Harvard professionals, which is fantastic. And it's good to know, where you send him.

00:53:57:03 - 00:54:10:24
Unknown
His Boltzmann's came from, so thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen. Join us next week, and we will be looking at three words that will correspond to a place where.

00:54:11:01 - 00:54:32:13
Unknown
We got that shooting from the hip where our favorite movie is based. Okay, I can certainly say we all going back to live in Hollywood. I know what you've got. Like Tropic Thunder. That was based in Vietnam. Yeah. I mean, you have Gotham City, which is kind of like New York, if you like Batman. I don't know where cars is set.

00:54:32:13 - 00:54:52:14
Unknown
If it's going to be your favorite film. I mean, any race track, I guess you could have, was. I mean, what is your favorite film of all time? Well, we'll find out next week on three word story.