1. Norbet Swallows & Unthawed Chicken

Welcome to "Three Word Story," where each episode spins a tale from the unexpected. Join hosts James Royle and Dylan Jacobs as they unravel narratives sparked by three random words from the innovative app what3words. From "Gladiator.Loft.Lies" to "Blurt.Market.Frosted" every episode promises whimsy, mystery, and creativity in just three words. Tune in for improvised adventures that blend imagination with spontaneity, proving that a world of stories can unfold from the most unlikely places. Ready to embark on a journey of words? Let's weave some magic together.

Thank's for listening, Tune in next week for another episode!

Follow us on:

• Insta: @three.wordstory
• TikTok: @Threewordstory
• X: @_threewordstory

Transcript

00:00:00:00 - 00:00:28:06
Unknown
Welcome, welcome, tree wood story with me, James. And you, Dylan. Dylan. Boom. Got it. The concept of this show for this one person who's probably listening, Matthews, who just came in and disturbed as this is this is for him. The concept we're going to use the app. What, three words which will tell you three unique words for whatever location in the entire world.

00:00:28:08 - 00:00:52:11
Unknown
We'll get that three words and we will create an improvised story. Each base of these three words, the job of the other one is to distract, poke holes in this story to try and ruin it. The one who gets through covers these points and gets really solid story wins. The three word story award of the week. Wow. Wow.

00:00:52:13 - 00:01:17:05
Unknown
Yeah, it's I can think of about three words. These three words okay. So does that make sense. It does make sense within the however, I do think that some people are naturally more gifted at point number one, making up a story and point number two hole poking. And I think especially I would I have a professional whole Pokemon.

00:01:17:07 - 00:01:37:20
Unknown
Yes. Yes. My wife. So I kind of figured shit, poking holes in a story. That's that's definitely I mean, you put your Sherlock Holmes hat on and I have, you know, if I was to say, you know, the guy came to the bottom of the ladder and he went through the back door and you'd be like, when the fuck was in a where do you get the ladder from?

00:01:37:20 - 00:01:56:14
Unknown
What the hell? Right. Blue. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. That's kind of. Yeah. Yeah. On to something. And so something very unrelated. That's how you bring it in. Yeah, yeah. You're just sideswiping like blue. What? I mean, like the blue. No, no, I need and and, and that's how successful podcasts operate, I believe. Yes. That's how they operate.

00:01:56:14 - 00:02:23:10
Unknown
So that's that's good. So without further to do to without further to you. Let's get ahead of it. Do you want to come up with a theme song once we're here? Oh. That's fair. Two words or three words. Story. So what have you got? Right? I'm thinking musical I to overthink, so I would be like, let's go.

00:02:23:12 - 00:02:46:09
Unknown
Late night radio host. Okay. I'm being like, not not going to no no no no no no no no no no. So I, I, I really do. Yeah. And I know I just, I just feel so let's, let's yeah let's, let's maybe go for, for something lighter just being like oh okay. So.

00:02:46:11 - 00:03:08:20
Unknown
James and Dylan three word story. And that's kind of like that's not only a child. Well it's a two and a Half Men. Yes. Yeah. That's that's really where my. Take me back to last night watching Hans Zimmer live. It was like I was back there again. It was, it was like with the drumming, the acapella. Like I was taken aback.

00:03:08:20 - 00:03:29:06
Unknown
I really was, that was, you know, what did make it better, though, is me doing this. That's that's actually how you see the notes coming out, actually. Yeah. Wow. How do you do that? It's really it's ordinary Rome podcast will do acapella with. Yeah. Jacob. Yeah. Okay. Well that's nice. We could go maybe a bit more party.

00:03:30:15 - 00:03:55:17
Unknown
A bit more like part, like, we could do a parody. There we go. To a parody. On going down. Yeah. In three words as a story. We're gonna make it, and then it. We'll be polite. We won't interrupt it, but then we will, we'll poke holes. No no no no no no no no no.

00:03:55:19 - 00:04:17:18
Unknown
The bigger the story, the harder they fall. Three words. The the longer the story, the less subscribers. Three words. I don't know how the rest of the song goes. That's. I think that's something that they say, listen, we will workshop that. However, let's use a drawing board and we'll go back to it. I mean, yeah, I think that's fair.

00:04:17:20 - 00:04:37:02
Unknown
I kind of thought like, oh, it's kind of the one that I not that I listen to BBC radio. I've been playing the radio shows like, but I was like, if I did have kind of like the segment being like something short, something sweet, however, but I think there was a slight lack of, creativity. They will kind of go, oh, wait a minute.

00:04:37:04 - 00:04:53:06
Unknown
Right. So maybe there's an in-between of a full blown, parody song to. Yeah, to just, it's a jingle or like, I just. Yeah, a jingle to do it. It's like four words in total. Actually, I think it was 5.6, maybe. Okay, well, then it's not is really against a three word thing. Maybe we have to do it in three word segments.

00:04:53:08 - 00:05:16:15
Unknown
Maybe we should get too obsessed about this. I tell you what. Let's begin with the choosing of the three words. So I'm going to go back two and put the postcode in. I'm not going to say it out loud just in case, you know, this magically goes viral and the people do like no reason whatsoever. You know, maybe it'll become like an Anne Frank kind of house where you, you know, visit there and go into the loft for no reason whatsoever.

00:05:16:15 - 00:05:42:16
Unknown
I didn't stay in the loft, but, you know, you know, maybe I pretend like I did. I was hiding from people back in this house, and they'd be like, this is where James came from. Maybe that's how it would. Yeah. I'm not. I'm Frank, my name is James. So my three words this week. Dylan, the story that I have to make with this is quite fucking extraordinary.

00:05:42:18 - 00:06:05:16
Unknown
So just search my postcode. My postcode. And the last word is loft. No, which is an, frank attic, so shiver me timbers. Considered my timbers well and truly shivered. Yeah, that is okay. Right? So, I mean, you know, maybe we can, frank it round. Maybe that's not appropriate. I don't really know where our boundaries are yet.

00:06:06:19 - 00:06:31:12
Unknown
I mean, I think I'm Frank is pretty fair game. I remember Justin Bieber went in there and said that she was a belieber. So I think it's okay. And he's still doing alright. I think he's fine. So, so one word is loft, the other word is lied, and the third word is gladiator's, which is a little bit of a little bit of a sideswipe, I admit, like loft and light.

00:06:31:14 - 00:06:56:11
Unknown
Okay. You know, it could go in somewhere. Gladiators has found me somewhat. But, hey, we have the old, Gladiators film, which the soundtrack was done by Hans Zimmer. It's a nice little full circle moment that I'll never have that. I didn't know that until last night. And the weird man who was sat next bit in a sign up with the nice man who was the lonely man, the nice lonely man, actually.

00:06:56:13 - 00:07:21:02
Unknown
Yeah. Cos if it was a woman, we would say, you know, an independent, strong woman. As soon as you see a man by himself, you just think public masturbator like he's by himself. Is that what people think of me? Yes. Yeah. So touching yourself, talking about true Jesus. Yeah. So the nice man who just wanted to commit to a show, he was the one who told me every single time I was at all Gladiators and Dark Knight.

00:07:21:02 - 00:07:44:14
Unknown
So I appreciate him. So. Gladiators. Light loft. That is my story for you, Dylan. I don't know how you're going to find it. Find your home. Do you have my first time? Or. Actually, I will just type in my home. Whatever. Just. Just at home, you know, phone home, as E.T would say, as, obviously a do you have postal codes in South Africa?

00:07:44:16 - 00:08:04:20
Unknown
Is that a thing? I'm not trying to say, like it's a third will come to you or anything like that. I just know that. Yeah. Because it's the fourth. Yeah. No. Oh will click on this because post codes work whether or not electricity doesn't work. Right. So I'm pretty sure that that's fine. Right. Go. So based off of yeah my current residents back home are I.

00:08:04:20 - 00:08:26:10
Unknown
The first word would be frost. Oh okay. That's interesting right okay. Which doesn't necessarily kind of blend in well with southern because I don't know much about okay I could frost a bit like the fridge would probably be my closest. Okay. So maybe a story based on the fact finding the fridge very boring. But also could be that that's fair.

00:08:27:02 - 00:08:58:13
Unknown
Then second one and I might have to confirm my googling what this word is, but like, thanks for the caveat out. The English is not your first language. Immediately. Should we put that out there right now? Okay. Yeah. That's fair. Not. But now you are also going to laugh. Why? Because my my head goes to two different places when hearing a word and I see things, or kind of like I, I imagined the word more so than actually just really great.

00:08:58:15 - 00:09:11:03
Unknown
Yeah. So I'm kind of algebraic equations, dancing around your head magically when you see. Yeah, yeah. Until you hear the word blurt.

00:09:16:18 - 00:09:48:04
Unknown
It's so. Yeah, I. Okay. Right. It's like okay, I was, which was just maybe like, you know, onomatopoeia, you know, tearing establishment, whatever that was. Don't insult me, James, please. It's okay. So. No. So again. So the first word was frost. The second word is blurt for the blurt, and and then the third would would be markets, markets, markets, blood, frost, Gladiator loft light.

00:09:48:06 - 00:10:14:13
Unknown
I think these are locked in, you know, if markets blur in a blur, you blurt and stuff out. I mean, I think there's I think you've got scope for a story that it's definitely, it's definitely kind of. And again, it can either work for you or against you. I think, like if, if the words are so different from each other that you can't link them right.

00:10:14:13 - 00:10:30:18
Unknown
But there's more space to kind of you can you you you you can. Yeah. You can kind of bring that. I mean, I do think that interesting to get a gladiator in a loft, you know, I don't know if the Romans have lofts. I'll have to. Maybe I can research it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's easier to create the attic.

00:10:30:18 - 00:10:49:00
Unknown
I do not know. I do not know if it's just a World War Two invention. We'll have to go back for that. It's very, Frank. It's it. I was that, but I haven't said the the, you know, the German kind of, you know, like political party. That was around that time. I nearly said the N-word, but that would be completely misconstrued into something else.

00:10:49:06 - 00:11:08:20
Unknown
Obviously the end what I meant was Nazi. Yes. Right. And I haven't said that word, you know, so that that so yeah, that was I was kind of pre editing in my head or that and it was getting worse. But but yeah. So stay away from the word Nazis down, you know, because no one likes them. As far as you know, unless it's, you know, but, they'll find out soon.

00:11:08:22 - 00:11:34:22
Unknown
Yeah. Well, I think, I mean, we are yet to have a drawing board, but we'll go to the metaphorical, drawing board, which, as we know, is the pub. And we will flesh out these ideas and then we will attack each other with these phenomenal stories. We'll be right back. So welcome back to three Word Stories with James and Dylan.

00:11:34:22 - 00:12:07:10
Unknown
So we are, extremely sober. No, Mary, I'm ready to go. I would say now, maybe the first person would be a disadvantage telling the first story of, three word story. So we are going to leave it to probably one of the most mystical powers that you could ever have in the world. You know, some people flip a coin, some people ask Jesus, some people ask, you know, ghosts, or they'll do Ouija board, although do many things.

00:12:07:10 - 00:12:29:23
Unknown
We, on the other hand, are going to ask a tom tom. Sweet. Okay, so this is a tom Tom sweet. The first time I've ever seen one, but they are a strong menthol flavored candy. And this is what's going to decide who tells the first improvised story on three word story. Now, I ask you, Dylan, would you go, Tom?

00:12:29:23 - 00:12:53:06
Unknown
Tom or no, Tom, Tom. You know, honestly, I, I definitely go, Tom, Tom, you're going to go Tom. Tom. Reason, reason being, I'm not. I'm not too much for facts and figures and kind of this I like I do not care about the calorie count. Okay. So you don't want to know about consumer relations. Oh that's even better.

00:12:53:08 - 00:13:14:17
Unknown
Right. So let me get this straight. Right. So you care about Tom. Tom, you don't give a shit about the back of this. Is that what you're saying? Yes. Good. Great. So, Dylan, you. I can confirm you do not give a shit about Cadbury Nigeria. You do not give a shit about Latif Jakande Road or no, the thief was careful.

00:13:14:19 - 00:13:29:16
Unknown
He's my favorite. No no no no no no. So you don't give a shit about Nigeria, which is fair enough. You can't give a shit about the whole of Africa. That makes sense. But I do, I do, and this really means a lot to me. So for Nigeria, I really hope that, I can tell the first story.

00:13:29:16 - 00:13:41:24
Unknown
I think that's I think the winner tells the first one. I guess it's a big thing, like there will only ever be one first. So. So for Tomtom or Nigeria.

00:13:42:01 - 00:14:10:06
Unknown
Oh hello consumer. Oh Nigeria it is. Okay so here we go. So the first story ever on three word stories. So for the people who maybe skipped the intro because the audio was so bad. And that's why we're talking to this caterpillar like little fluff ball. My words were lied loft and Gladiator. And people may think, well, this is not very improvised if it's on the tube of you.

00:14:10:16 - 00:14:32:02
Unknown
On this page here I have encountered this many words. One, two, three. Those are my three words four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 1011, 12, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20. I have 20 words. Right? So it's not really, a kind of a fleshed out story. This is kind of going to be as we go. Okay.

00:14:32:10 - 00:14:58:02
Unknown
I don't know how many words you've put on your pad of notes, but we will see. We will see. So my words are light loft, Gladiator. Now, I'll be very honest. I did a bit of internet research, and I've actually come across quite an interesting story. Okay. And this story, we left that, Oh, okay. Wait. So, you know, can we actually verify the sources or if we like that?

00:14:58:02 - 00:15:25:11
Unknown
Hey, let's let's leave it to the end. Let's leave it to the end, and we will see from the two of you. Yeah. I just made this up. I've, I've, I've glanced over and I've had a look and, and this is a extraordinary tale about how the gladiator Russell Crowe got his name. So let me take you back into the 1960s.

00:15:25:13 - 00:15:49:23
Unknown
A young as we now know him. Russell Crowe was named Norbert Swallow's. So that you see that this is actually based off of the fact that I could actually keep my Marinus inward. And, I do apologize. That's okay. It's okay. You know? Look. Hey, at the end of the day, do we know many Norbert swallows? I don't think we do.

00:15:50:04 - 00:16:15:15
Unknown
But we take you back to 1969, where a young Norbert swallows, has just moved to Australia, and Norbert swallows. It's a bit of a rascal. Norbert swallows. Okay. He's getting into mischief, getting into high jinks. You know, his mother's telling in or Norbert Guido Polmone. Come on. Me gate opening. Saw it as we know that that was a great.

00:16:15:21 - 00:16:41:11
Unknown
Yeah, yeah. That was Norbert. Swallows. That was, Marguerita swallow. So that was her name. And she does, by the way. That's as they do. So she does indeed. So we take you back to Norbert swallows. Now, Norbert swallows was part of a lovely community. And he would go around, you know, he would be digging back gardens, inspecting insects.

00:16:41:11 - 00:16:59:04
Unknown
He was. He was a kid that loved insects. Okay. So I just wanted to confirm. Is a human, though, like. Yes, I think so. So you see, human being like, you know, like he's a young whippersnapper who is going through he's, you know, he's a he's ten, he's ten years old, he's got his magnifying glass, he's got his book of insects.

00:16:59:13 - 00:17:23:02
Unknown
Because of the internet wasn't a thing back then. And he's checking out insects. He's, Yeah. I fucking love worms. North. Oh, fucking. Oh, I love cockroaches. Fucking in. Yeah. Go blind. Crikey! Oh, no. Oh, he. Oh, bloody. Oh, cool. You don't know. You know all of the above. Right. So he is, just going around his business.

00:17:23:02 - 00:17:57:24
Unknown
And the thing is about Norbert, he is a naturist boy, so he's there. He's talking to the insects. He's talking to the birds. He is, coincidentally by name, really fascinated by swallows and swallows. A beautiful petite bird, you know, soft, silky feathers. And he takes a particularly interest in them. Okay. And he documents everything. He. You can see that there's a blue swallow, there's a yellow swallow, and, you know, the mum's like, oh, you guys know it.

00:17:57:24 - 00:18:21:12
Unknown
You, you had a good time is all great. And did this week until one day and one day there is disturbances across the community where we can't give you today the way. No, no, I just I was I was at this building the detention, the community, the community in Australia which is Tobago. Right. So this is in ten a bagel.

00:18:21:13 - 00:18:41:24
Unknown
Yeah. It's it's an old like, indigenous name, the word that I just said. Yeah. That I can remember from. From a bagel. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So. Yeah. So it was, it's not like, you know, Perth. Oh yeah. I mean, you know, that was definitely one of ours but Tin Baker so they've moved to tin a bigger the community of tin a baker.

00:18:42:00 - 00:19:10:18
Unknown
Okay. To the baker. Good night. Yeah, yeah. This is the I've researched this is this fact. Right. So tin a big. I'm sure so across the community, people are going into their lofts now. Lofts? I don't know if this is a universal word for an attic or a void in roof or a roof hat or, potential Bdsm, opposite of dungeon.

00:19:10:18 - 00:19:30:19
Unknown
So they call it a negative dungeon, because a dungeon is obviously underground is what we think of it. But a negative dungeon is upstairs because at the end of the day, not good, man. Yeah, yeah. Well, hey, that was that was good. If you need to tie someone up, you don't have a basement. You do a negative dungeon, you know, because, a sexy attic doesn't really have the same vibe, but, you know.

00:19:30:20 - 00:19:54:20
Unknown
Yeah, because you don't want to. I don't know, do do people go up on someone or do they only go down on someone? I mean, once you've gone down on someone, I assume you would then eventually go up. Otherwise what what what goes down must go like this. It says it exactly. It's. What I think to say to a day as well of, what goes down must come up.

00:19:54:22 - 00:20:26:07
Unknown
Come up. Okay. I'm leaving the law now. I'm going to go home now. That was a fucking craziest thing I've ever seen in my life. All right, so anyway, back to. Right. Sorry. The community of Winnebago. So a young Norbert swallows. He's going around his business researching insects, birds, the rest of it. And there is whispers. You know, there's the stories that people with, loft attic spaces, the their belongings, their Christmas decorations, their old records getting destroyed.

00:20:26:09 - 00:20:49:01
Unknown
They're getting ruined. They're getting. They're getting pecked. They're getting destroyed, Dylan. And these are things that, you know, these are family heirlooms. These are old portraits that portraits, portraits, portraits. Why, these are old, but these are things that mean. Yes. You want to not adorn your home with them, but these are things that mean something to someone. So young.

00:20:49:05 - 00:21:19:24
Unknown
Norbert swallows, decides to investigate. He goes, oh, mama, I'm going to go do some investigation, ma'am. And she goes, all right. And so he goes about it and all, but not all right on every single door in the community. And he checks out those loft spaces and he sees discarded cardboard boxes. He sees portraits ruined, but he does not see any evidence of who this might be.

00:21:20:01 - 00:21:52:00
Unknown
He goes from one to the other to the other, to the other. And then one day, Norbert goes, I'm just going to check your loft. And he goes up there. He's he has this movement, this little pecking, scuffling, everything. And then he locks eyes, acquire the crow, looks at him with those dark, beady eyes and those black feathers like the bird of death.

00:21:52:02 - 00:22:22:01
Unknown
And Norbert swallows, looks at him, and he goes. Go away. And he shakes everything around him, and that crow flies and flocks away. Norbert, feeling very proud of himself, he comes down and he tells his mom. He goes on, mom, I'll I've only got a bloody solved it. And she goes, oh, Norbert, what was it, you guys is a bloody crow.

00:22:22:03 - 00:22:33:01
Unknown
She goes, what did you do? And he goes, A bloody rustled.

00:22:33:03 - 00:22:56:14
Unknown
The mother tells the community about the strong and noble deed that Norbert did that day. And from there on in he was called Russell Crowe. Now, I know what you're thinking. I know what didn't. I know what you're thinking. I know we think I know you think he knows what I'm thinking. He. He forgot about the light word.

00:22:56:14 - 00:23:22:12
Unknown
That's what you're thinking, right? Because there was clearly Gladiator, which relates to Russell Crowe. There was definitely a loft in there. But you're thinking, James, you fucking idiot. On the first story, you've only covered two words out. The three. Well, he is the twist. Okay? On that fateful day when he went into the loft as the pre gladiator, Norbert swallows looked into the black eyes of that bird.

00:23:22:12 - 00:24:03:02
Unknown
It was not a crow, but it was the beautiful swallow that Norbert enjoyed so much that his family crest was based on. And to see this elegant swallow defiling the good of the people of ten, a beggar, he decided for his he will sacrifice his family name of the swallow, and he blamed the crow. So from here on, in every single time you see Russell Crowe in an interview, even at the age of five, 54.

00:24:03:19 - 00:24:36:06
Unknown
Around that, around him. Right about that. Yeah, the age of around 54, when they, all Russell Crowe, how are you? Has the rugby team you see this? A little bit of pain in his eyes, a tear rolling down as he knows that deep down within him, he will always and forever be. Norbert swallows a lot. I love the that I know it's all lies, all but swallow.

00:24:36:06 - 00:24:55:20
Unknown
But Norbert swallows. So look, I wanted to do, like an improvised story to begin with, but to Google a little bit about Russell Crowe and to find out that a complete factual story with absolutely no ad hocking whatsoever, I thought it was, I might as well bring that as a good because, hey, what? What's a better story than real life?

00:24:55:20 - 00:25:15:15
Unknown
So, you know, it would have been nice to kind of just go completely off board and go, you know, improvise. But I thought, you know, really we got to understand the real Russell Crowe. And that is, of course, Norbert swallows more. That's all I so. Yeah. So look, you know, I know that's the first and that's where we are with it.

00:25:15:15 - 00:25:40:16
Unknown
But I would love to hear, a what you what you thought of it. I mean, obviously you can't poke any holes because it's fact and it's true in, in literally every single sense of the word. I fact checked everything I emailed. Russell Crowe arcade. Norbert swallows his agent. Everything's verified is all good, so I can't imagine for a second that you would poke any holes in it.

00:25:40:18 - 00:26:14:10
Unknown
Hey, I would say that was, well fucking done. I, I'm I'm honestly impressed. Considering you just basically read off of the Wikipedia page. I mean, yeah. Hell, yeah. Yeah. So, I actually really enjoyed that. Okay. I think the fact that you. Could do, honestly, within the first five minutes kind of conjure up this factual story to conjure up zero conjuring.

00:26:14:16 - 00:26:38:14
Unknown
All I that I read, I regurgitated is the word. It was zero gauge. It's I know can you stop using words? I don't understand what you did with conscious. I did not consciously that there was no conscious. Zero. No conjure came up enough. Stop blurting out shit. Hey, to be continued to be okay. No, I actually thoroughly enjoyed then.

00:26:39:06 - 00:27:03:16
Unknown
It's it's probably a lot more creative than my story would be, because again, I rates if it's true, it's it's it's very, So now I just figured out a whole I'll share some of my personal experiences, what I am doing here in the UAE. Okay. Right. And that kind of leads me always a good, probably a good Segway.

00:27:03:24 - 00:27:36:12
Unknown
So just to reiterate, my three words were markets, frosted. You frost, it was frost. I mean, you frost frost stick here. I mean, you could frost frosted, you creative control frosted and blurt blurt and a word that you know extremely well. Yes. So without further ado, let me let me kind of just, That looks terrible.

00:27:36:13 - 00:27:54:07
Unknown
It looks like, looks like I'm ready to to read off of the teleprompter, which. That's true. Yeah. That's true. They do look like the scribbly scribblings of a psychopath. So anyway, just just just for the notes. Just for the notes. I actually lost all my notes. This was all last minute things that I just jotted.

00:27:54:07 - 00:28:17:15
Unknown
Yeah, no, that's true. I mean, but this is this is improvised in every single way. So, you know, Yeah. Notes or no notes? Yeah. Let's delve into the mind. Right. Sort of dialog. You know what? So I'm. Yeah, in the UAE, I do real estate and, I'll start from where I'm from, South Africa. So this is a bit more of a personal story.

00:28:17:15 - 00:28:45:19
Unknown
Again, actually pretty factual. With my attempt at kind of putting in some, some, some blurts of comedy, to, to the listener, by the way, there was hand signals of blurting. I assume that was sign language for blurt. That was it, or Angry Goose. But anyway, was all just letting that nice it anyway. So what I want to say was, yeah.

00:28:45:19 - 00:29:14:16
Unknown
So I'm yeah, in the UAE and taking us back to South Africa and, back to 1652. Wow. Okay. I didn't know you were that old, but. 1652. Yes, please. So that's actually when markets really got started. Well, that's actually why the Dutch arrived. They did they didn't they didn't kind of, and they my English left me immediately.

00:29:14:18 - 00:29:41:22
Unknown
Yeah. Because you just normally just leave. I thought I'd be able to kind of think. Yeah. This is the bell, but get told. So what I wanted to say, 1652. Either way, markets got sorted. That's actually why they built, like, Trading Post down their southern tip of Africa, kind of as a trading trading point between like India and kind of the rest of Europe.

00:29:41:22 - 00:29:58:17
Unknown
And then kind of the that. So just to confirm sorry. Yeah. Southern tip of Africa I guess that's where they got the name for the country, right. You know what they went to creative with the name as, as in Namibia. Don't get me wrong, I have no fucking clue what Namibia means. I think it be near the name.

00:29:58:19 - 00:30:15:06
Unknown
I believe it's about Nam. Nam and Nam is where you're eating with. There's a lot in your mouth and you're just num num num num num num num num num num num. And then what was there? So the idea is the, female genitals, but without the first letter. So it's like your labia. Libya. Your labia. Libya.

00:30:15:08 - 00:30:38:07
Unknown
So it's actually named after a guy who just loved eating pussy, you know? And and that is why I love the man. And that is actually where you, you you and. Yeah. Yeah. Let's go away. He went oh, night. Oh that's all he went. So and there was, the Great Lakes of Namibia, and unfortunately they dried up as they do, as we all know they do.

00:30:38:07 - 00:30:51:14
Unknown
They all have an expiry date. So unfortunately, there's no there's no names on the IBU anymore.

00:30:51:16 - 00:31:16:19
Unknown
No. Mon nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Right. So considering, I won't I won't say for which company I work for like. Yeah. Especially after that conversation, but, no. So I actually just wanted to touch on the markets, considering that I had to use the word market, but like, okay, now I know it's there we go.

00:31:16:21 - 00:31:37:21
Unknown
So like, no, no, no. So so the real reason was that, okay, I was actually just bullshitting about the 1652, I was in real estate back home. The markets kind of. I didn't see myself on the way up, so I figured, Let's go. Where the, where things seem to be happening. So I figured, yep.

00:31:38:00 - 00:32:04:12
Unknown
At Dubai. Dubai is the place to be. And that is the reason why you find. That's why I find myself in this particular spot where I did, where I could explain how the next two words were then. Okay. Connected. Yeah. Yeah. So. So it's kind of some, some people would probably think that you, you couldn't fit the third one in, and you just kind of thought, fuck it, I'm just going to say it.

00:32:04:14 - 00:32:29:13
Unknown
And then you go the other. But so the people thought that they could just just be like markets. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah yeah yeah. And then yeah. Yeah. So I technically I could just create the sentence. I would have been a lot easier but very terrible. Yeah. And I don't think it's good for the viewership but so no, I, I got you I'm not the, the most sociable person.

00:32:29:13 - 00:32:50:08
Unknown
However, one of my first weeks in the office, in kind of this new environment, a new market. Abdul, I'm then, Oh, this is kind of, Yeah, we just, we're still in business. Okay. By the way, those people. Okay. They have people walking around. Is this kind of early days in this. The market is happening around us, right?

00:32:50:08 - 00:33:18:19
Unknown
It's so just feel like we're on TV. So this is nice. Yeah. Yeah. So, no, I, he, So, so, I don't know if, if it's necessary, but but but, Abdul is a fan of Curry. Okay. I'm not even sure if I'm supposed to look like he's from the UK. However, he has more tolerance for spice than this particular.

00:33:18:21 - 00:33:43:14
Unknown
Okay, white guy, white guy? Yeah. Okay. So, he was, like, telling you, you up for food? And I said, yeah, sure, 100%. And he was like, yeah, I know this fantastic place in in jail tea. And I was like, oh, sure, sure. Not 100%. He's like, did you eat curry? And I'm like, well, I'm from from South Africa.

00:33:43:14 - 00:34:07:19
Unknown
We've got a good mix of, of like Cape Malay and we've kind of got a good mix of the Indian culture. And like, I can handle a bit of spice. Despite discover is famous for, accepting all races. Yeah, yeah. They, they, they they good mix or cocktail country of. Yeah. And and just confirm this is the southern tip of Africa and.

00:34:07:22 - 00:34:30:11
Unknown
Yes. Because it is if the name does not indicate there may be some Americans listening to this. You just need something for that. Yeah. I'm sorry I wasn't even I was, I was oh where where else? The southern part of Africa. I thought it was all where's, where's the southern? Where's the southern part of Africa? Fuck. You should do the whole thing about that one.

00:34:30:12 - 00:34:56:03
Unknown
So that's why you better go. Don't. No, no, no. You want to follow that? Sorry, but back up. Back up again. Back in Cape Town. What's up back anyway anyway. All right. So. Yeah. So Kareem Abdul. Yes. So this was probably around, nine ish in the evenings, whatever it was, fairly light. We left the office.

00:34:56:05 - 00:35:22:09
Unknown
However, I think how it the, the the, the, the butter chicken that I ended up ordering, was maybe famous for its mildness, right? Yeah. Famous for its mildness. However, I think what, what probably got to it more. And again, I'm obviously no food scientist or you probably don't even have to be, you know, scientists. No.

00:35:22:11 - 00:35:40:15
Unknown
Anyone listening to this, it was just all viewing the two people that are viewing this, which is, you know, for food scientist, you know, someone who's just found my phone? Yeah. It'd be like they look at these two people and be like, well, he's clearly a physicist and a historian of all Australian, history. And that guy is a food scientist.

00:35:40:15 - 00:36:05:22
Unknown
I've ever. I've seen one, you can tell, but it's no. So. So as far as I figured, right? This, this particular chicken, was was probably, defrosted and frosted and defrosted. Right. Okay. Too many fucking times. So like, well, you know. Oh, we know Indian boys. We need we don't we need the chicken. No, we don't need the chicken.

00:36:05:22 - 00:36:30:15
Unknown
We need the chicken. We don't need the chain. Right. Okay. And I can tell you my, my belly did not agree with the amount of times it was back and forth between the people in the kitchen. I think, like they said, should we use it? That. Yeah. So. So, I think that was honestly not kind of the best way to go.

00:36:30:17 - 00:36:51:04
Unknown
But so needless to say, the upon tasting it like, again, you have this blurt of flavors, right? I, I think that's fair. I think I think that kind of works. Maybe, maybe I mean, maybe that's exited. Maybe it's like, maybe it's a blur it into. Please let us know in the comments. Was that the correct use of blurt?

00:36:51:06 - 00:37:19:13
Unknown
Yeah. No. Either way, no, no. JJ Royal 19. Ford says no anyway, so, either way, I had some curry. Me I mean, absolutely, it looks like I need a bath towel when eating curry because I just there's a lot of it's, it's a, it's a lot. And, but that was kind of just the beginning of the story.

00:37:19:13 - 00:37:49:02
Unknown
And, you know, it's funny, is, is, to suggest that this restaurant. And he was like, this is one of the best curry restaurants. All the taxi drivers go they came like. To find best. To find best. Yes, I know I can be best for affordability. Yes. Could be the the most for an extreme colonic. Like an exiting colonic, which gives you such violent diarrhea that you literally cleaned up.

00:37:49:02 - 00:38:17:22
Unknown
That could also be the best. And then I kind of asked this question myself, thinking, I'm not too sure what that means. However, like this. Like this podcast. You try anything once, right? I got it, yeah. I mean, so, I had this meal. Now I'm dripping in sweat, and that's, however, not the issue.

00:38:18:02 - 00:38:51:04
Unknown
It was, probably 45 minutes later where, we were kind of driving back home. He dropped me off, and I stayed on the on the ninth floor of this particular building. And, for elevators, however, one was not working and the rest was so, so full that you really can't get up. So I have. Yeah.

00:38:51:06 - 00:39:25:20
Unknown
So kind of driving home or him kind of driving me home. I was like, something's something's off. The Golden over movie, but the multiple and now I'm kind of thinking, yeah, yeah. Do you, do you pull over and shit you shit in their car? What? What do you kind of do? Because I've never. I've never. I've never shit yourself, you know?

00:39:25:20 - 00:39:50:21
Unknown
I've never. I don't know if you want to mix words. I've never blurted a frosty or blurted out Uranus or Frosty the bloody. So I. I kind of figured it out. My first. I'm, Yeah. So you weren't in the market for blurting out no, no, no, no, not at all. So I kind of figured that okay, so I'm walking.

00:39:50:21 - 00:40:25:23
Unknown
I'm already fairly nervous about what might happen and I, I, I look, I walk into the building and it's just, I mean, like 20, 20 people queuing for each elevator, they pull left going into. And I was like, fuck that. I'm going up the stairs. Okay. Reasonable response, reasonable thing. We could all do the same. However, being new to Dubai's market, I was absolutely fucking terrified that.

00:40:26:00 - 00:40:55:15
Unknown
Public indecency. Or at least stay away. Indecency. What was your concept of cockroaches around you? I honestly thought that. And I and I and I have actually never. And now I'm doing this on such a such a public, platform, but I, I started crying because I've never been, I've, I, I was in the, I think the English word is the fetal position.

00:40:55:17 - 00:41:25:20
Unknown
So. So imagine me. I'm, I'm I'm I'm fucking already drenched. The sweat. I'm halfway up this and there's no, like, see, three floors, there's no water point where I like delinquents. It's like, this is the way to like. That's nice. That's what I mean. This looks like there's no stairway toilets. I hate the, you know, but you just need to drop a drop the kids off of the pool three floors up, and you just can't take a quick shit.

00:41:25:22 - 00:41:54:16
Unknown
You know? So I was literally sit from being like, it's this it, this, this, this, is that not listen, I will tell you is listen because I thought Dylan knew it. Yeah. Good. It's going to run. Two week run. You are going to shit yourself. You little shit. You sound like it'll make this king of the castle, you know, like.

00:41:54:18 - 00:42:17:01
Unknown
And then I thought. I thought I was going to shit in my pants or I'm going to pull down. And some people got that shit. On the stairway. Hey, every second I can know. But you know what, right? I'm. And then it's unfortunately that normally when when I do speak to people about this deep conversation is about controlling my blood.

00:42:17:03 - 00:42:33:22
Unknown
It's like, yeah, yeah, but I ain't no blood. Yeah. So we've all got to control. So this is brought to you by anal blood control to keep control of those anal blood. And needless to say, I,

00:42:33:24 - 00:43:05:19
Unknown
I pulled my pants. They were down at this point is right now back up. So you did drop trowel to I. I was I was kind of, I was teasing off the moon because I honestly did think I was going to do this. And again, this was probably not what you guys were ready to, however, I, I ended up pulling my pants back up and and.

00:43:06:15 - 00:43:30:21
Unknown
By the way, when this eventually when this does take off, for those at home, CCTV is everywhere in the mine. So there is almost certainly, what looks like a video of Dylan, flashing a ghost up on the third floor staircase. Of of of, of a of a serial, sexual ghost on the stairway of an Albert.

00:43:32:00 - 00:43:40:18
Unknown
I've gotten, five, and I'm telling you, these,

00:43:40:20 - 00:44:04:16
Unknown
Jumped yourself, and it's my friend. I'll go on that. No, actually, maybe, I guess. Okay. No, no. So either way, like, I was thinking, through throughout this, this the story even I thought what would be a a good kind of punchline to ended, but, I just know there's there's there's absolutely no way of of ending that.

00:44:04:16 - 00:44:21:21
Unknown
I mean, the whole sexual. But that way ghost is one way to do. I kind of like that. It's just offering a bum a third floor. You've you've not lived until you've been offered a bum on the third floor staircase. Yeah. However, yeah, it'd be a weird episode of, Oh, sorry, weird film of, Harry Potter Harris.

00:44:22:01 - 00:44:42:07
Unknown
Nearly headless Nick was offering a bum on the third floor, which is, you know, if it was. Yeah. That's why it's nearly nearly. It's actually called nearly Head neck. Because he offers to suck out all the boys cock. So. I wish I was a no. I'm sorry. I just wanted to say I haven't watched too much Harry Potter so that it's a lot of sucking.

00:44:42:08 - 00:45:13:22
Unknown
Okay? It's there's a honestly, the staircases move everywhere. It's just sucking dick left, right and center, right and center. But no, but trust me, everyone is is there is there genders? Otherwise, J.K. Rowling would be very sad. So. No, I see. Yeah. So I think that I think that kind of ties my stories together being like this and, looking for for greener pastures, a new markets and, and then, I mean, some questionable foods being frozen on frozen, defrosted, not frosted, frosted.

00:45:13:24 - 00:45:41:23
Unknown
And then, yeah, me just absolutely fucking bloating, but, but, I didn't actually Google, so you got to they got to the ceramic through the, ceramic throne. And I did not end up shitting myself. But you know what? You know, when, I almost kind of related to a near-death experience, and I'm, I'm probably taking away from people that actually have been closer to that.

00:45:41:24 - 00:46:04:21
Unknown
Yeah, yeah. However fuck you was that was since. Because. Yeah. Because that was pretty fucking close and that that really made me rethink. Okay. Point number one eating curry. But like, I just appreciated when it's like heavy now to to to to be every everything around me a bit more so because yeah. Just having near shot experience.

00:46:04:21 - 00:46:25:20
Unknown
Yeah. Near shot experience. That was the name of the shot in the shot experience. So yeah. So once, like, yeah. Had a a heart attack, a catastrophic heart. So I got to be resuscitated for an hour. I was technically dead for quarter of an hour. You say to them, Dylan, no, no, no, fuck you. You say the fuck you said fuck you.

00:46:25:20 - 00:46:46:08
Unknown
I really shit myself. On the third floor was offering myself to a homosexual ghost on the third floor of a building in Dubai. Fuck you and I shit myself to death. Shot it. It does sound like I've had more. Yeah. Anal shrieks. And in that, is there a worse trauma than anal trauma? Please put your answers in the comments.

00:46:46:08 - 00:47:16:14
Unknown
Is the worst trauma the mental trauma? Anal trauma? Please don't put the comments, because as I say, that I realize this many traumas and, none of them are funny. So which one? Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah. So just over to our sponsor, BetterHelp. If you need help with your trauma, particularly anal trauma, then, subscribe to BetterHelp, and they will help you through thick and thin, through thick and thin.

00:47:16:16 - 00:47:38:02
Unknown
So even looked into the camera. Okay, so we've had then two very true stories steeped in fact. Yes, belief and realness. And I think that is, a great way to start. I think if this conversation or this whole thing ever makes it to the light of day, then I'm sorry. You know, we're we're trying to figure things out.

00:47:38:02 - 00:47:57:09
Unknown
You know, you know, we we've there's a market to deal with, you know, there's, you know, it can be pretty frosted. Lee received at some point. You know, some of the things may be conceived as lies. You know, maybe we could go to a loft, do a podcast there, but, hey, we're gladiators. At the end of the day, we're going to fight our way through.

00:47:57:12 - 00:48:18:09
Unknown
And yes, you may have realized when you said five of the words and no, that's not because I've forgotten it. That's because I'm waiting for you to come in with your last word and then relate to this story, which is lies. No, it was my words. You did get. Oh, fuck. That was nearly so slick. I could we can edit it.

00:48:18:09 - 00:48:45:04
Unknown
We can edit it. The show is bloated, but yet. So you blessed him with lies, which is the perfect way to do it. Which is old lies, lies, deceit and lies. So, I think that was. That was the three word story. I think that was an extraordinary beginning. And if this does ever make it to the light of day, I think you say please like and subscribe.

00:48:45:06 - 00:49:08:09
Unknown
Tell us about your anal trauma in the comments. What else do we want to know? Have you ever been offered a bum by third floor ghost in your life? And have you seen the misery and depression in Russell Crowe's eyes when he cannot be known as Norbit? Swallows? Have you actually called him Norbit? Swallows like I honestly think on the red carpet.

00:49:08:11 - 00:49:38:01
Unknown
Like if you want to see somebody shook him. So just call him Norbit. Swallow. Which is a shame, because I'm sure he had a very good homosexual porn career waiting for him as Norbit swallows. I know I did anyway, but, you know, it's it's fine. Hey, different. Different. Oh, fuck. Slick. It's, Well, I went too far anyway.

00:49:39:16 - 00:50:00:10
Unknown
But please, like, it's good to do it. Yeah, yeah. And edit this out. So, please, like and subscribe. There's more to come. It'll be a slicker, faster to the point, and potentially even more, less tipsy. Thank you very much.